Less than a decade after no-fault divorce became legal in America, the number of broken homes nearly doubled. But long before our lawmakers redefined the terms of divorce, the human heart sought a loophole in God’s original plan for marriage. Jesus diagnosed the issue as a heart problem. So, to fully grasp what the Bible says about divorce, we must first understand God’s heart and plan for marriage. God designed marriage to reflect His covenant relationship with His people—a bond of love, faithfulness, and sacrificial commitment. By understanding this divine purpose, we can better navigate the complex and sensitive topic of divorce through a biblical lens.
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When our creator God gave Eve to Adam as his wife, it was good. Very good. From the beginning of time God’s plan for marriage was a three-part arrangement. The first married couple lived together in their paradise home and enjoyed perfect oneness with each other and perfect oneness with their creator. God provided everything Adam and Eve needed to thrive, and he guided their every step … until sin changed everything.
To the couple who wanted for nothing, Satan seductively suggested the need for more. Their desire for autonomy opened the door for sin. Their unbelief in God’s perfect provision hardened their hearts. And with the first bite of forbidden fruit, they forfeited their oneness with their creator—and purchased their autonomy. But with their newfound freedom to self-rule, the penalty of death entered their bodies and would spread like a virus from generation to generation through Adam’s seed (Genesis 3:1-19, Romans 6:23).
It didn’t take long for Adam and Eve to regret their sin, but by the time their eyes were opened to the truth, the damage was already done. Their disobedience had separated them from God’s Holy presence—and from each other. No longer could they walk through the garden “naked and unashamed.” They sewed together fig leaves to try to hide their shame and bare bodies, but their flimsy attempt to cover their sin failed. Only blood would atone, and God graciously provided. But even though God forgave their sin, the consequences of their disobedience reached far and wide—especially in their home. Adam and Eve were forced to leave their lush paradise garden. And their sin-soiled hearts made it impossible for them to ever again view each other, their creator, or their marriage through eyes of purity. (Genesis 3:21-24)
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When our deliverer God led his chosen people out of Egypt, it was good. Very good. If ever there was a people who lived as “one nation under God,” it was the freed Hebrew slaves. God literally hovered over them in a cloud by day and in fire by night. As they journeyed with their rescuer to the Promised Land, they were completely dependent on God’s provision and guidance … until sin changed everything.
To the wandering, weary, complaining Israelites, the enemy offered the temptation of control. The Israelites desire for autonomy opened the door for sin. Their unbelief in God’s perfect provision hardened their hearts. And with the first earring that hit the flame to form the golden calf, they exchanged their oneness with God for an object of worship they could possess. With their newfound control, the curse of death entered the camp (Exodus 32:26-28).
It didn’t take long for the Israelites to regret their sin, but by the time they witnessed Moses’s furious descent from Mt. Sinai, the damage was already done. Their constant sin had separated them from God’s Holy presence (Exodus 20:18-21) and from each other. If not for Moses’s intercession, the God who had rescued His people from Egypt’s cruel bondage would have righteously slain every one of them (Exodus 32:11-12).
Even though God forgave their sin, the consequences of Israel’s disobedience reached far and wide—especially in the home. The Israelites' sin-hardened hearts made it impossible for them to dwell together in unity, and only their children would be permitted to enter the Promised Land.
Because sin had created a chasm between the Israelites and their deliverer, God gave Moses guardrails in the form of the Mosaic Law to keep them from self-destruction. Through the law, God revealed himself and his Holy ways, exposed his people and their sinful ways, and gave Israel a foreshadowing of their ultimate atonement through The Way. A small section of the Mosaic law introduced the first legal grounds in scripture for divorce.
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Over the years the children of Israel had become so immersed in the rights and rituals of pagan culture that they had all but forgotten God’s original vision for oneness in marriage. Contrary to God’s plan, women were seen as property and husbands felt they had the right to abandon their wives whenever, however, and for whatever reason they wished.
The divorce terms Moses introduced in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 stood in direct opposition to the pagan customs adopted by the Israelites and offered wives a measure of protection from the sinful whims of their husbands.
The law stated that a divorce could only be granted in the case of “indecency,” and that the husband was required to give his wife a formal certificate of divorce before sending her away. The certificate gave the wife the proof she needed to avoid the death penalty for adultery if she married another man, and it prohibited the first husband from reclaiming his remarried ex-wife if he happened to change his mind.
The meaning of the term “indecency” in Moses’s mandate later became a subject of fierce debate among Jewish rabbis and modern-day theologians. To this day, most Christians tend to fall into one of two camps on the issue. Some believe the only biblical grounds for divorce is the “indecency” of sexual immorality. While others believe that the word “indecency” covers a range of sinful behaviors within the scope of adultery, abuse, and abandonment.
In the New Testament the Apostle Paul helped clarify the lawful grounds for divorce in practical terms. The article "What Does the Bible Say About Divorce" explains, “Paul taught that married couples owe each other love (1 Cor. 7:3-5) and material support (1 Cor. 7:33-34). If these rights were neglected, the wronged spouse had the right to seek a divorce. Abuse, an extreme form of neglect, also was grounds for divorce. There was debate on whether abandonment was grounds for divorce, so Paul dealt with it. He wrote that believers may not abandon their partners and, if they have done so, they should return (1 Cor. 7:10-11). If someone is abandoned by an unbeliever, or a spouse who will not obey the command to return, then the abandoned person is no longer bound."
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Even though God permitted divorce in the Mosaic law to accommodate the hard-heartedness of his people (Mark 10:5), God’s heart for marriage remained steadfast (Mark 10:8-9). His desire for oneness with his people and oneness in marriage is revealed powerfully through the book of Hosea.
Hosea was a prophet tasked by God to relay a message to the Northern Kingdom of Israel. God had made a covenant of love with Israel, binding himself to them (Hosea 2:19–20). But time and time again, Israel strayed from God’s love and sought after idols (Hosea 4:12–13; 8:5–6, 11:1-2), which led to their utter depravity. God had every right to terminate the relationship because of Israel’s unfaithfulness, but He loved his people too much to let them go. Though God agonized over Israel’s sin—and the consequent judgment for their sin—He remained faithful to His commitment of love.
Besides giving Hosea poignant words to express His judgment, grief, and commitment to wayward Israel, God called the prophet to become a living example of his message. Obedient to the Lord’s instruction, Hosea married an unchaste woman named Gomer. Even though Gomer committed adultery repeatedly after they were married, Hosea demonstrated God’s unfailing love by continually pursuing, forgiving, and restoring Gomer to her place in their marriage and home.
Hosea and Gomer’s story does not suggest that Believers must remain married to adulterous spouses. Jesus himself provides a clear exception for adultery when warning against divorce (Matthew 5:31-32). But the story does give hope to those who choose the hard road of reconciliation by showing them that God can turn valleys of trouble into doors of hope (Hosea 2:14-15). More importantly, the story provides a glimpse at the astonishing depth of God’s love for us. “His love never ceases to pursue the wayward,” explains Robin Wilson and Christy Bottom in their book, Who is God Now? Hope in God after Betrayal.
The book of Hosea is one of many places in the Bible where God uses the picture of marriage to demonstrate his relationship with his people. The theme continues into the New Testament when Paul says: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:30-32).
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When our redeemer God left heaven and came to Earth as Immanuel, it was good. Very good. At the climax of his ministry, Jesus prayed for every Believer. “…that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity” (John 17:20-23). Jesus’s disciples followed in their master’s footsteps and hung on his every word, yet they couldn’t fathom that kind of oneness, even in the case of married couples (Matthew 19:10) … until Jesus’s sinless death changed everything.
With Jesus’s last breath on the cross the Temple veil was torn, obliterating the dividing wall that stood between God’s Holy of Holies and sinful mankind. Adam and Eve’s sin had created an ever-deepening chasm between God and his people. The law had provided guardrails—but Jesus was the bridge.
Over 1,000 years after the Mosaic Law provided a four-sentence treatise on divorce, the Pharisees still argued about the precise terms of the law. When they drew Jesus into the debate, he could have cleared up the legal details in no uncertain terms. But instead of answering the Pharisees’ question about the law, he pointed them to God’s original plan for marriage. “Haven’t you read, that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:4-6).
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The Bible has a lot more to say about divorce than meets the eye. For Christians who have suffered the agony of adultery, abuse, or abandonment—God has made provision in his law for divorce. But he provides so much more than the guardrails. He provides hope. We serve a God who knows all about suffering (Isaiah 53:3). We are his and he is ours because Jesus was betrayed, abused, and abandoned on the cross (John 18:3–11, Mark 14:50, Mark 15:15). Now nothing can ever separate us from His love again (Romans 8:38-39).
For other couples who feel miserably stuck in their marriages and are looking for a way out, there’s hope, too. Jesus is the door. Trust in God’s perfect provision. Run to him. Cling to him. Our Oneness with God, through Jesus, is the healing salve for brokenness and the key to making all things new (John 15:4).
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