God loves weddings.
Jesus showed up for a wedding and performed his first miracle. The host ran out of wine for the celebration, something of a crisis, and Jesus proceeded to turn water into wine, keeping the party going a bit longer.
God instituted marriage at Creation, before the Fall, an idea of relationship and purpose untouched by corruption. Marriage continues today. The Old and New Testaments regard the relationship between God and his people as like the husband-and-wife relationship. The Apostle Paul famously regards Christ as husband and the Church as the Bride, something of a mystery (Ephesians 5).
Therefore, God takes marriage seriously. And so should we. They are causes for celebration and sober contemplation. Our modern culture rejects God’s idea of marriage more and more, however. In our lives, we will be invited to weddings along the way. Here are five questions to ask yourself before attending a wedding.
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In all things, we shouldn’t assume that we should go just because we get an invitation to a wedding. When Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, the normal thing would be to go to his friend’s side to heal or comfort him, but Jesus waited a few days before traveling (John 11). Jesus paused, because he received a different leading from his Father: “I only do what I see the Father do” (John 5:19).
Therefore, seeking God’s will and discernment is essential in deciding whether to attend. We acknowledge the importance of aligning our actions with God’s purposes and plans by asking whether we have sought God's guidance. God's wisdom surpasses human understanding, and his guidance can provide clarity and direction in all aspects of life, including attending weddings.
Prayer and seeking God’s guidance allow Christians to discern whether attending a wedding aligns with God’s will for their lives. They may consider factors such as the spiritual atmosphere of the event and any potential conflicts with their own convictions or values. In this day and age, with sinful sexuality and lifestyles more prevalent and accepted, we must pray through exactly how God would have us engage with these events. Jesus promises the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth, and James tells us to ask for God’s wisdom, which he gives generously (James 1:5).
Even with a wonderful Christian wedding, we shouldn’t assume. Let us humbly ask God for his loving discernment first.
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Next, we should ask whether we have prayed for the couple. If God had told us we should attend this wedding, our initial responsibility would have been to intercede for the couple before the throne of a holy and loving God. At the same time, they enter into the covenant of marriage. Prayer is central in supporting and uplifting the couple embarking on this significant journey together.
By asking whether we’ve prayed for the couple, we recognize the importance of covering the soon-to-be-married pair in prayer, seeking the Father’s blessings, guidance, and protection over their union. Prayer demonstrates love, support, and care for the couple and a desire for their relationship to be grounded in God’s grace and wisdom.
Praying for the couple before the wedding fosters a spiritual connection and solidarity, acknowledging the significance of their commitment to God and the challenges they may face in their marriage. Prayer cultivates a spirit of humility and dependence on God’s grace, recognizing that only through his strength can the couple experience the fullness of love, joy, and unity in their marriage. It reflects a desire for God to be at the center of their relationship, guiding and sustaining them through every season of life together.
For weddings where one or both members are nonbelievers, we stand in the gap. We pray even more on their behalf. We pray that God would reveal his love and salvation through his design of marriage to the man and woman.
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If God has called us to attend the wedding, and we have covered the couple and the event in prayer, we should follow these choices with another question. How can God use this event to express his love and salvation through us?
The Great Commission calls every disciple to be sent out and take the Gospel of the Kingdom to every creature and nation (Matthew 28). Weddings are joyous celebrations that bring together family and friends, providing a fertile ground for spreading the message of God’s love and salvation, especially as the New Testament equates our relationship with God as a marriage model.
By asking this question, we demonstrate a proactive mindset focused on advancing the Kingdom of God amidst the festivities. We recognize that weddings present unique opportunities to engage with others in meaningful conversations about faith, hope, and the transformative power of God’s grace.
Our actions and attitudes are one way to share the Gospel at a wedding. We display Christ’s character through love, kindness, and humility. This character draws people closer to God. Simple acts of compassion and generosity can open doors for conversations about faith and spirituality.
We can intentionally engage in conversations with other guests, sharing personal testimonies of how God has worked in our lives and inviting others to experience his love and forgiveness. Our words of encouragement and prayer in support of the couple and others point them toward the importance of faith in every aspect of our lives.
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God may call us to attend a wedding where the couple has different beliefs, or an entirely different faith, than ours. Before attending, we should ask whether we can show love regardless of differences. Many Christians live in a bubble where we don’t have to engage with people we disagree with religiously or politically. Even if the couple may be strong Christians, weddings bring together people from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs, allowing Christians to demonstrate the unconditional love and acceptance modeled by Jesus Christ.
Through this question, we acknowledge the importance of embodying the love of Christ in our interactions with others, even those who may hold different perspectives or lifestyles. Genuine love transcends barriers and fosters unity amidst diversity, reflecting the inclusive nature of God’s kingdom.
Showing love regardless of differences requires humility, empathy, and a willingness to set aside personal biases and prejudices. It involves treating others with respect, kindness, and compassion, irrespective of their differences in opinions, values, or backgrounds. Demonstrating love at a wedding means extending hospitality, friendship, and grace to all attendees, regardless of whether they share the same faith or worldview. It involves actively building bridges of understanding and reconciliation, fostering an atmosphere of warmth, acceptance, and unity.
Ultimately, showing love regardless of differences aligns with Jesus’ commandment to love one another as He has loved us (John 13:34-35) and our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). We strive to reflect the character of Christ in all their interactions, including attending weddings.
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Even bigger than bringing a gift, we should seek to be generous and bless others at the wedding: the couple, families, and guests. Followers of Jesus can give emotionally and spiritually to the benefit of all people.
This question demonstrates a desire to contribute positively to the atmosphere of love and unity surrounding the event. Through Christ, we have the resources of heaven, and we can actively seek ways to uplift and encourage others in attendance, fostering an atmosphere of warmth, celebration, and mutual support.
Keeping our spiritual eyes and ears open, we may encounter people dealing with hard times on this joyous occasion. Divine appointments happen in every situation, and God may place our seat next to a hurting or broken person. With a few questions and loving care, we can be encouraged through prayer or a Bible verse.
If given the opportunity, we can organically bless the couple and their families through heartfelt prayers for their marriage, future, and spiritual well-being. Prayer is a powerful tool for interceding on behalf of others and inviting God’s blessings and guidance into their lives. If we have experience in marriage or a leading for a timely word, we can write a note or letter of encouragement for the couple to read later.
On a practical level, we can seek ways to assist during the wedding, such as helping with setup, serving food, or offering transportation to guests. Acts of service demonstrate love in action and willingness to go above and beyond to bless others.
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One thing I love to do at weddings is dance. No, I’m not a great dancer. But my daughters know I will get out on the dance floor and jump around in celebration with them. One of my daughters even has some favorite songs to dance to, and she will ask the DJ to play those songs. If God has called me to come to the wedding, I should celebrate with all my heart and bring joy. The Wedding Feast of the Lamb will be a party like we’ve never seen (Revelation 19:6-9), and through our participation in these events, we can give others a taste of the Gospel promise through Christ.
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This article is part of our larger resource library of Christian questions important to the Christian faith. From core beliefs to what the Bible says about angels, we want to provide easy to read and understand articles that answer your questions about Christian living.
What Do Christians Believe?
How Old Is the Earth?
Who Is My Neighbor in the Bible?
What Does God Look Like?
Are Guardian Angels Real?
What Does it Mean to Be Zealous for God?
Originally published Monday, 04 March 2024.
