Is Raising Kids Now Really Harder Than it Used to Be?

While some parents are claiming to be breaking generational curses and blazing new trails, others are striving to follow the legacy of past generations, and yet the vast majority still feel as if they are falling short. So, what gives?

This comes from a culture that demands parents must “do it all,” leaving most to succumb to immense pressure and lead an extremely busy lifestyle. From chauffeuring kids around to multiple sporting events and activities to volunteering at church or school to entertaining their tiny humans for hours on end, there is never a break. This causes a sense of exhaustion and burnout.

1 Chronicles 16:11 tells us to continually seek the Lord and His strength. We mustn’t take the bait that tells us we have to do it all and do it all perfectly well. We will fail, that is certain. However, when we place our overwhelmed and weary hearts in Jesus’ hands, He will provide us with the strength to continue. Seek God’s wisdom and discern where you need to simplify your schedule.

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The plethora of information out there on “how to parent” is truly staggering. Everyone has an opinion, and it generally comes with scientifically proven results. From typical milestone markers to the best forms of discipline, the emergence of the internet and social media has left most parents reeling with so much information and conflicting views it is mind-blowing. This is leading to more parents suffering from anxiety, guilt, and comparisons like never before.

Take a deep breath and open up your Bible to the book of Proverbs, as it is the best source of information out there for any season of parenting. Proverbs 22:6 may be an all-time favorite, but for good reason, as it keeps our role as parents concise, simple, and straightforward. We often overcomplicate this whole parenting gig when we just need to trust our intuition (God gave it to us for a reason) and lean into the truth that tells us to train our children to love the Lord.

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We can sadly thank social media and the wealth of information at our fingertips for delivering to us an altered state of reality. Our perception of others can either give us false hope or an inferiority complex as we compare ourselves to others. This constant feeling of insecurity and inadequacy, or state of emotional highs we gain from those egotistical dopamine hits, can really cripple us as parents.

2 Corinthians 3:5-6 reminds us that our confidence mustn’t come from ourselves. However, when we seek God to give us confidence, we can rest assured that He will grant us the power to parent with dignity, grace, and humility. If you are struggling with compassion or feeling overly confident, I invite you to set your phone down and pick up your Bible. Let God’s love and reassurance wash over you, opening your eyes and heart to see His plan and purpose for your family.

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The enemy doesn’t seem to be hiding or prowling around looking for souls to devour anymore (1 Peter 5:8); he seems to be in full-blown attack mode, and it is glaringly obvious! Our innocent children are currently being primed and groomed to believe cultural lies about their identity and sexuality. Rather than seeing their identity as a gift from God, the world has grown louder, deceiving the most vulnerable to believe false narratives and even celebrate sin! This is a very serious matter. No wonder parents are concerned!

Romans 3:23-24 reminds us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. As we battle for our identity and that of our precious children, we must humble ourselves before God and seek His grace and mercy while also holding on to the fact that we serve a just God. His righteousness will prevail. In the meantime, hold the line, continue to etch the truth of God over your children, and remind them who they are and to Whom they belong.

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The average modern-day American is struggling to provide basic needs for their families. With the rise in housing, food, and gas prices continually fluctuating, and other everyday essentials becoming scarce, the strain is causing insurmountable tension in many homes. Even with two working parents, it is obvious that parents are financially stretched thin.

In many cases, our society has caused this detriment as we believe the lie that bigger is better or that having more will lead to happiness. Yet, the Bible declares otherwise. Hebrews 13:5 calls for us to be content, Proverbs 22:7 reminds us to keep a reasonable budget, and Philippians 4:19 tells us that God supplies us with what we need. If you are feeling this burden, take a deeper dive into where you are spending your money and plan with your spouse ways you can give back to God, spend more wisely, and set aside savings in case of an emergency.

There is nothing quite like having a community, especially a body of believers, to walk alongside you, encourage you, and hold you accountable. Yet, more and more faith-based families are stepping away from the church. The leading cause is generally wrapped in a negative experience. Whether a family encounters a sense of judgment or abuse, doesn’t feel connected, or the message seems muddy, it’s disheartening that parents are lacking this much-needed support.

While we should never stay in a church that is not Biblically sound or partakes in unfaithful activities, we must also recognize that churches are made up of sinful people. That said, we aren’t called to follow Christians. We are called to follow Christ. 1 Corinthians 12:12-17 tells us that the church is the body of Christ, and we each play a vital role in sharing God’s love with others. Find a church where you and your family can spiritually grow and gain faithful friends. God longs for us to grow in a community, knowing we essentially need it to thrive (Proverbs 27:17).

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While the term “helicopter mom” was invented in the early 2000s, and it gets a bit of backlash, it’s also understandable. In many places, especially in big cities across our nation, parents don’t even feel comfortable letting their children go outside and play due to escalating crime. The dangers are real, and unfortunately, our children are often the main target of shameful and despicable acts of violence along with human trafficking. It also has parents continually on guard and on edge as these child predators are stealthily stalking children through their phones with games, apps, and social media as well.

The bottom line is no matter how hard we think we are protecting our children if we come on too strong, it will only push our children away (Ephesians 6:4). Our goal as parents is to let the Lord be their safe refuge and furthermore to teach them that we may fail to provide and protect them, but God never ever will! We can elevate our fears and worries through constant prayer but also know that when our children are put in sketchy situations, they will have the wisdom to be aware and lean on God for discernment.

The concerns surrounding mental health are at the top of the list for most parents, according to a recent poll. It has become more apparent that as hard as it is to be a parent these days, it is just as hard (if not harder) to be a kid. Maybe the most alarming constituent is that parents feed off their child’s anxiety and worries. Basically, when our children are threading down a not-so-good mental track, we tend to follow as panic sets in and we fear the worst.

The best way to support a child or teen struggling with mental health is to listen and pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues but try not to overreact. All children encounter bouts of sadness, anxiety, or irritability; when it becomes a trend or gives you great pause and feels like something is off, seek support and contact a professional who can help you and your child through this difficult season (Proverbs 1:5).

How much screen time is too much? Are video games bad for kids? How can I keep my teen safe online? With the ever-evolving emergence of technology, we have all asked questions similar to these. As more and more concerning evidence comes out about how these new “smart” phones are dumbing down our children (and yes, us too), it should have us questioning this rapid growth! However, quite frankly, for most parents, it’s overwhelming and, at times, can feel downright defeating.

The truth of the matter is that we can only do our best to provide healthy parameters on our children’s screens and implement those boundaries ourselves by setting an example for our little people to follow. This upcoming generation is growing up in a digital age where they will need to use technology and understand how to use it as a valuable resource, regardless of whether we like it or not. That said, there is simply no way around it, as they will more than likely need it to apply for a job or get into college. While we can tend only to see the negatives of technology, there are many beneficial apps now that can help us keep our children safe and monitor where they are in real time. That is pretty cool! While our world will continue to change and grow into unfamiliar and odd formalities, thankfully, we serve a God that never changes, and nothing is new to Him (Hebrews 13:8 and Ecclesiastes 1:9).

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Personally, I think the most disheartening reality that we face in our current society is the devaluation of the family unit. This is sadly where all these factors come to a head as Satan weasels his way into the walls of our homes and wreaks havoc. All the current demands and strains placed upon parents today are a ploy to eventually cause division and tear apart families with divorce, betrayal, and lies, leaving a wake of shattered memories.

It all starts as an internal war inside the home as Satan confuses the roles of a husband and wife and gets inside the minds of their children. We need to realize that we are in a spiritual war! So, are you ready to suit up because the evil minions aren’t going to go down easily? Ephesians 6:10-18 equips us with the truth on how to fight this battle by putting on our Godly armor. While Ephesians 5:21-33 lays out the beautiful depiction of a faithful marriage. Let’s cling to these truths and fight for our families!

Raising children in this day and age surely comes with a lofty set of challenges that may seem unbearable at times, but God still created you and your children for such a time as this! They have a specific plan and purpose for living right here, right now. And so do you! So, let’s not strive to be the perfect parent but rather recognize that we are all flawed humans, doing our very best to train our children to love and fear the Lord. The beautiful gift that comes from parenting is that your story will intertwine with theirs, but you must allow God to write the pages. God will use your child’s testimony for His glory. What a sweet reward!