A relationship is a way in which two people are connected. For any relationship to grow and thrive, there are certain elements that must be present for the relationship to continue to blossom. The same is true for your relationship with God. There are 5 key factors that are essential for your relationship with God.
The Bible does not specify a certain method or duration of time that you must spend time with God. Jesus states in Matthew 6:6, “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” If taken literally and out of context, one can think they have to go in a closet every time they want to spend time with Jesus. This is not what God was referring to in this scripture. Instead, He was teaching the importance of having a personal relationship with God instead of turning it into a public display like the Pharisees were doing during scriptural time. They wanted human approval and praise instead of an intimate relationship with God.
Jesus shouts in Revelation 3:20, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they will be with me.” Think about your closest friend or most intimate human relationship. The more time you spend together, the more you get to know each other. That is the same with God. The more time you spend with God, the more you know Him and what He has for you. God longs for you to spend time with him just like you would in a human-to-human relationship. You have to spend time together to get to know each other better. God knows everything about you, but your time together should be focused on you getting to know Him, his character, his faithfulness, and everything He wants to teach you about Him and how and why He created you. Through getting to know Him, you will learn more about yourself and the world He created as well.
Quality time with Him can take on many forms. Before we go into those forms, I want to give a full disclaimer that God doesn’t want you to focus on doing all the right things and checking off all the boxes. Instead, He wants quality time with you where He has your undivided attention. One key component of time together should be diving into the word of God. Hebrews 4:12 declares, “The word of God is living and active.” This word took on human form through Jesus when He walked this earth (John 1:14). By opening up the word of God, you get a glimpse inside God’s heart and mind. You get to see His character from the beginning of creation to the present, and you will get to experience the fullness of His faithfulness from the start of time to the very moment you open up the Bible. One very clear way God guides you and enriches your relationship with Him is through learning, reading, and unpacking the bible together.
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Prayer is the means of engaging in two-way communication with God. You will want to start most of your time with God by being quiet and listening to His direction. At first, being quiet before the Lord may be difficult with the noise and distractions that are all around you. However, with time, this start can refresh your mind, body, and soul as you learn to recognize His voice. John 10:3 states, “The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.” By consistently making it a habit of listening first, you will learn to recognize His voice and follow it. Just like in a human relationship, your relationship with God should allow time for God to talk and for you to listen. There should be a balance of listening and speaking.
Lamentations 2:19b says, “Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.” God wants you to share everything with Him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. He is your shelter and protector, and He wants to know everything you think about, even the ugly. “God does not expect His children to have it all together before coming to Him.” Instead, He wants you to share everything with Him, to learn to trust Him, and to create intimacy with Him by trusting Him with all your feelings, hurts, struggles, celebrations, and desires. The Bible calls David a man after God’s own heart. When you read through Psalms, which were mostly penned by David, you will see that he told God e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. When David was even very angry and hurt by God in his current circumstance, he brought it before God. Authentic communication in a relationship is the willingness to share even the ugly side of yourself and ask for forgiveness, repentance, and restoration.
Don’t make this key complicated. Prayer is communication with God and can be done anywhere and everywhere. There is not a specific prayer that you have to pray every time. Jesus leads his disciples in the New Testament with a simple framework for prayer, but we aren’t even going to unpack it here because I don’t want you bound to feeling like you have to follow a specific framework. How boring would human communication be if you said the same thing every time you interacted with that specific person? The same is true when communicating with God. It can even be a quick flare prayer of “God, please help me” in the moment of a frustrating situation. Whereas other times, it can be a set aside daily timer where you talk with God for 10 minutes or for hours on end. Prayer should be more focused on open, honest, and transparent access to God and less on always receiving answers at the moment. The key to prayer should be used alongside the key to quality time. It is your time to get to know God and for you to share more about yourself with him. He knows everything about you, but he longs just like a father longs for his child to share his day with him. He wants to hear and see your smile as you tell Him about a happy part of your day, and He wants to catch your tears during the moments of your day that are heart-wrenching. He wants to hear and see it all.
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As you get to know God more, you will start using the third key: Admiration and Worship. You will form a deep sense of respect, awe, and appreciation for God’s greatness, power, and goodness. Just like a human relationship, the more you get to know someone you love, you can’t help but gush all over them about what you love about them. Admiration is often expressed through praise and worship. With God, as you use your keys of quality time and communication, you will learn and fall more in love with the many characteristics He possesses. You will want to praise Him for who He is. Additionally, you will also be more and more grateful for his faithfulness and goodness and won’t be able to keep it all inside as you see what He brought you through and the blessings and provisions He provided as you open up to Him. Your daily life will be full of worshipping Him through your actions, thoughts, and deeds. Worship can be singing songs and playing music, but it also can be your choice of words, action, and love towards others and what you do on this side of heaven. Over time, admiration for and worship towards God will become a daily part of your life and relationship with Him.
This key is developed over time, much like a human relationship, as it takes time and experience together to truly learn to rely on someone else. Trust is built through all the previous keys, especially quality time in the word. Seeing daily or even weekly how God remains faithful, truthful, and loving in the bible will allow you to trust more fully. You have to believe in His promises of yesterday and today in order to trust Him. By seeing the promises He kept from Genesis to Revelation, you will be able to know full well that He is faithful and worthy of your trust even in the valleys of your life.
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This is done through following Jesus’ teachings and applying them to your daily life. One simple way is memorizing scripture and letting it guide your thoughts and actions. During your quality time and communication together, God will give you action steps to take in order to share His love with the world. This looks differently for each person: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). We are all called to spread the gospel, but each of our different purposes and ways on how we do that are specific to us. When God shares with you your next step, you will want to walk in obedience as you walk in the fourth key of trust. God will never call you to something that goes against the bible. So you can be assured when He sends you, He will equip you and provide for you. Sometimes, He only lets you see the next step in front of you; other times, He will give you more of His plan before you walk into it. Be willing to take the quality time to get to know Him more and communicate with Him consistently so that you will abound with faith as you walk in obedience.
All of these keys are interconnected and should be used daily and weekly as you deepen your relationship with God. They are not meant to be a checklist to follow or religious acts to earn your way into heaven. Instead, they are the keys that open the door to a flourishing relationship with the Creator of the Universe– who loves you with all his heart and is eager for you to open the door and invite Him in. Open the door and let Him in. He is waiting to pour out His love on you and abundantly bless you with all He has in store for you.
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