How to Eliminate Christmas Burnout and Rediscover the Joy of the Season

There are several things that cause us to become overly stressed during the Christmas season–leading to burnout that lasts even after the holidays are over.

The first thing that many people get caught up in, sometimes before December begins, is high expectations. I think we have a natural tendency (or at least I do) to think that we have to do as much as we did last year in terms of entertaining and gifts, or think we need to do even more. Sometimes our kids, extended family, and friends can feed into those high expectations. Incessant commercials and store displays only fuel our belief (and our children’s belief) that we need to buy more and do more in order for this Christmas to be special. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the holiday and lose perspective on how much is too much.

Another cause of Christmas burnout is one I was quite familiar with as a child. If there is a great deal of stress in the family, it can add to the pressure of the holidays. There may already be burnout because of addiction, relationship issues, financial problems, health issues, and more. These concerns will certainly cast a shadow on Christmas preparations and celebration (if the family is able to celebrate at all). Problems may be experienced all year long, but they can come to a head at Christmas, because we know we are missing out on what is supposed to be a joyous time.

Overscheduling is a huge contributor to Christmas burnout. Somewhere along the line, many of us have forgotten that we can say “no” to attending an event at Christmas. I remember as a young married couple having to make several “stops” at various family homes between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It was exhausting. Then there are church events that we don’t want to miss out on, like Christmas pageants, living nativities, special plays, not to mention all of the services scheduled during this time. Some families have a tradition of never missing a special production during the holidays (e.g. The Nutcracker, Holiday markets). If your employer hosts a Christmas party, that is something else that needs to go on the calendar. And if your job causes you to work extra hours during the season–especially if you work for a church–the additional time and effort can make Christmas a burden instead of a great joy.

All of these factors can lead to physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion. None of this is God’s will for us. Christmas is to be a time of great peace and reverence. God sent His only begotten Son into the world as a baby, to live and die as one of us, and reconcile us to God through His death. We are to be humble, awestruck, joyous, and looking forward with hope. So what can Christians who are usually burned out by Christmas do differently this year?

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One of the best ways to keep Christ at the center of Christmas, focusing on the spiritual significance of the holiday, is to participate in Advent. Advent is the season leading up to Christmas that helps us to fix our eyes on Jesus. On the four Sundays before December 25, special readings about the incarnation of Jesus, including prophecies about his first and second coming, are read in many churches. If your church does not participate in Advent, readings are available online that you can use as an at-home devotional throughout the month of December. The lighting of Advent candles in an Advent wreath helps participants focus on the four themes of Advent: hope, peace, joy, and love.

In her article, “10 Best Ways to Avoid Christmas Burnout," Janet Thompson offers a great suggestion for how to focus our minds and hearts on the reason for the season. She writes, “Start every day reading the Christmas story from the Book of Matthew or Luke or in a Christmas devotional. It helps focus the day’s activities around the only reason we celebrate Christmas. It reminds us that Jesus doesn’t want us stressed or in a frenzy. He came into the world for one reason: to offer those who believe in Him eternal life—not to add a burden to our life but to lighten our load.”

In addition, I believe it’s essential at this time of year to be especially devoted to prayer. Before you begin scheduling, buying, or other preparation, lay all of your plans before the Lord. I think it’s a good practice to ask Him how you can have a holy and blessed holiday without getting caught up in all the trappings of the season. Pray and consider everything that you are buying and scheduling and see if those things bring honor and glory to Jesus. It may seem silly to pray over every shopping excursion, but when you do, you may be surprised at how the Holy Spirit gets ahold of your heart to focus on Jesus and how to honor him with your purchases.

Speaking of purchases, expect the Holy Spirit to bring to your attention those who are in greater need. In Charles Dickens’ famous A Christmas Carol, one of his characters said that, “many thousands are in want of common necessities” and at Christmastime the want feels all the greater. Jesus called us to care for the poor, so consider how you can glorify God by doing something “for the least of these.” Churches and non-profit organizations present many opportunities to make Christmas more special for those who cannot afford a meal or gifts.

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Here are some practical ways we can focus on the true meaning of Christmas and show God's love to others this season:

• Volunteer! Helping others will remind you how Jesus humbled Himself as a servant to meet other people’s needs.
• Get your kids involved. Let them help you make plans, gift lists–even let them do much of the decorating. And have them join you in volunteering, and make it a practice every year. I did this with my daughter and she grew to love volunteering and puts that first before everything at Christmas.
• Set up a nativity near where you have prayer and Bible study. It will be a tangible reminder of those who witnessed the birth of our Savior, and helps you meditate on that most holy of nights. Involve your kids with telling the nativity story, even “acting out” the story to enhance their remembrance of those who first met their Savior.
• Use a wall calendar to schedule events so that the whole family can see what is planned. Populate it first with Bible study and prayer each day, then special weekly readings (e.g. those of Advent), then the things you need to do to prepare for festivities. That way it’s a visual “check” for the whole family to make sure you’re not overdoing it.
• Don’t rush through the holiday. Why not spread your observance through the 12 Days of Christmas (December 25-January 6)?
  
  

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If you have been a victim of Christmas burnout in the past, perhaps a different perspective is needed. Instead of feeling like so many things have to be done to make it a “real Christmas” for you and your family, maybe you can create a new theme for this year: GRATITUDE. Years ago, I started a gratitude or blessings journal and for me it was an exceptional way to see the millions of things around me that God has provided, is providing, and will continue to provide.

If you choose to start such a journal, I suggest that you first list what you are most grateful for: the gift of Jesus. Martin Luther is quoted as saying, “Preach the gospel to yourself,” and you have an opportunity to do that throughout a blessings journal. Everything begins with Him, comes from Him, and is according to His perfect will, so we could never finish a list of blessings. But the effort to do so and to read back over your journal occasionally can remind you how God has carried you through every day of your life.

In her article “How to Prevent Holiday Burnout Before It Starts," Ruthie Gray writes, “When we pause to reflect, we allow the Spirit to speak. Let’s take time to ponder, like Mary, the wonder of our personal God. A God of the impossible. A God Who notices the smallest faithful gestures."

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It all starts with Jesus. If we truly want a peaceful, Christ-centered Christmas, our focus needs to be on the One who is the “reason for the season.” Not just as an additional exercise to add to our list of activities but as a perspective of true gratitude, true passion, true worship, and true selflessness. And that takes time and energy that we might normally expend elsewhere.

Let’s limit our expectations, reduce stress, and resist the urge to over schedule. Let’s consider celebrating a holy Advent before Christmas Day and the 12 Days of Christmas after to give us more time for meditating on Jesus’ first and second coming.  Ask Jesus to remind you of the peace He came to give “not as the world gives,” and let that guide how you plan. And remember what the angels said to the shepherds on the night of His birth:

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the city of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:10-11).

“Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests" (Luke 2:14).

Let’s not let the world, the flesh, and the devil steal the awe of that night, or our joy in celebrating Him.

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