How to Break through These 3 Barriers to Forgiveness

The first reason why people struggle with forgiveness is because of faulty depiction of God. Many people see God as an angry cop in the sky out to catch us in our wrongs. Heaven holds a large filing cabinet containing our spiritual rap-sheet; every mistake and sin is diligently recorded. Then, if our rap sheet is too long or extreme, God doles out some divine judgment upon us. 

Sadly, even those who go to church regularly may believe this. In fact, they may not even realize that this is their picture of God until something unwanted erupts in their lives. In the face of loss, tragedy, or misfortune, their first thought is, “Why is God punishing me?”  See, somewhere behind the scenes, there is the belief that their sin invalidates God’s love, and they deserve to be punished.

But this is not how scripture speaks about God. The Bible affirms God’s commitment to forgiveness. Psalm 130:3 says, 

“If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand.” 

The point of this verse is that God does not record our sins. God holds no rap sheet that we need to try to work our way out of. God responds to our sins with forgiveness. “With the Lord there is forgiveness, so you are to be feared” (Psalm 130:4). We come to God not out of fear of divine punishment but because God provides release from all our fears, our burdens, and spiritual weight. Forgiveness is held out to us because it lies at the heart of who God is.  

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A faulty understanding of sin is another reason why someone may struggle to feel forgiven. Many people picture their own sin as insurmountable. It is not that God keeps a record of their sins. They make the record! In rehearsing their sin, again and again, they effectively remove themselves from God’s loving offer of forgiveness. It is almost as if they believe that their sin is more powerful than God’s forgiveness. They may believe God’s promise of forgiveness for everyone else but see their own sin as too big, too strong, or too deep for God to eradicate. But such a belief runs completely contrary to the testimony of scripture. Again, the words of Psalm 130 are incredibly helpful. 

“With the Lord there is unfailing love; and with the Lord, there is full redemption.” 

In fact, the modifier for the word redemption is the word Rabah, which has a sense of multiplication. The redemption and forgiveness that God offers us are always multiplying; it is always increasing, and it is always held out to us. 

It is true that we don’t earn our forgiveness. Biblically, we aren’t worthy of forgiveness. But our unworthiness is precisely the point.   Forgiveness is never anything that we work our way into or earn through our moral perfection. Forgiveness that is conditional is not biblical forgiveness. God offers us forgiveness, not because we are “forgivable”, but because he is forgiving God. Forgiveness is based on God’s goodness alone, and because of this, we can trust that forgiveness is both available and lasting.

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A third stumbling block to accepting forgiveness is the decision to dwell on our past sins. We may ask for forgiveness, pray confessional prayers at church, but then take up our spiritual weight again. Even though scripture says, “If we confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9), we doubt that such a freedom occurs.  

But does that make sense? Think of it this way: Every week, we put out the garbage. We take the apple cores, the used containers, and the messy rags and place them in the outside garbage bin. We remove the refuse from our lives. It is comforting to know that our garbage has been discarded. I don’t know about you, but I have yet to bring the garbage from the outside bin back into the house. I have never wanted to be re-surrounded by my old garbage once again.

Why, then, do we do this with our spiritual lives? Why do we have a propensity to take up all that we have laid down? We all know the adage is “Forgive and forget,” but because we can’t forget, we don’t feel forgiven.

It can be hard to turn off the voice that says we haven’t earned our forgiveness. We live in a world that tries to rank and file everything and everyone.  We live in a world of merit and earning, one that bombards us with messages such as, “What goes around comes around” and “You get what you deserve.” With this message firmly in our minds, it’s hard to hear the liberating message of the gospel. The message of free and eternal forgiveness seems far too good to be true.

In that world that runs on earning your keep, Scripture cuts through the noise and gives us a word of hope. We need not question our forgiveness, our stumble over our desire for forgiveness – because forgiveness is fundamental to who God is for us. And so, like a Sentinel looking toward the horizon in the eager anticipation that the dawn will come just as it always does, so we can live our lives in the knowledge of God’s forgiveness, love, and redemption. Amen.

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