When Mother’s Day and Father’s Day come around, it’s normal to think of your own father or mother. But many of us also think about the mother or father of our children. But when it comes to giving gifts and showing appreciation, it’s a little difficult. How can wives help their husbands feel loved on Father’s Day? Should she just leave it to the kids?
If you are searching for ways to honor your husband this Father’s Day or help the kids honor him, here are a few suggestions.
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1. Express Appreciation and Gratitude
Perhaps I’m alone here, but I believe mothers have a more thankless job than fathers—when it comes to the kids. Yet, it is still wonderful to hear appreciation and gratitude. When my wife acknowledges and appreciates my efforts as a father, it is deeply encouraging and helps me to feel loved and valued. According to Proverbs 16:24, kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. That is a precious gift to receive from a wife on Father’s Day.
2. Plan a Special Meal
I’m a pastor, so that means I’m usually pretty busy on every Father’s Day. But my wife has often taken time on Father’s Day to prepare one of my favorite meals for dinner. Is there any better way to a man’s heart, to encourage him, than to make a favorite food? It’s especially fun of the kids get involved in the cooking process. Though if your kids are younger their special food creations might be a little less desirable.
3. Give Him a Thoughtful Gift
One of my favorite Father’s Day gifts from my wife was a Willow Tree figurine. Now, I’m not usually a guy who is big on figurines, but this one was special. It was a mini-sculpture of a dad with his kids. And my wife explained her thoughts behind the gift. These thoughtful gifts that you can keep around the house or in the office are mementos of appreciation. They can be encouraging to look at, especially at those times when you feel like a schmuck.
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4. Pray for Him
My favorite “job” is to be the father to my kids. It means the world to me to not only be seen as a good dad but also to be a good dad. I realize that this is not something that I can accomplish on my own. Doing this requires prayers. Knowing that my wife is praying for me, particularly in this area of my life, helps me to feel loved. "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." What better gift could a wife give than to bring her husband and the father of her children into God’s throne room?
Click here for Father's Day prayers.
5. Encourage Him with Scripture
This one can be a little tricky. There is a longstanding joke among us pastors about the difference between a Mother’s Day sermon and a Father’s Day sermon. Moms are usually encouraged, thanked, and lifted up. Father’s Day sermons tend to be more like a kick in the pants. Fathers are reminded of their important jobs, of how much people are counting on them, how they are probably failing in their tasks, and that they need to do better. If my wife gave me a list of all the things that Father ought to do—I’m not sure if it’d be encouraging. But if she gives several Scriptures that draw me back to the hope in the gospel, I’ll be deeply encouraged. Or perhaps, use some of those “do this” passages but share with your husband how you see God’s work in his life in that area.
Click here for more Scriptures to share on Father's Day.
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6. Organize a Day of Relaxation
Honestly, I love spending Father’s Day itself with my kiddos. We have a rule on birthdays and special days like this that the person being honored gets to call all the shots. This means that I’m probably going to have my family watch Royals baseball. Or it will mean that we play several rounds of Mario. And if we play Mario Kart, it will mean that the kids finally have to let me win. These days are super relaxing for me. Nothing is expected of me, and I can just let go. These days are rare. When my wife provides these for me, it is such a breath of fresh air, and it shows a deep love and appreciation. Ultimately, I know that Jesus’ words are where I find rest: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28). But my wife is able to model this heart of rest for me.
7. Engage in His Hobbies
Most men enjoy engaging in activities with loved ones. Ever hear stories of how a guy can go out with a best friend on a fishing boat and spend five hours not saying a word to one another and have the time of their life? I’m not exactly wired this way, not all men are, but for some men just doing an activity together is enough to show love and an interest in him. Notice what he loves to do and do it with him. Just enjoy it. Laugh together. Work on a project together. Go fishing. Whatever he enjoys doing, clear the calendar and engage in those hobbies. Last summer, for my birthday, my wife took me to a Kansas City Royals game when it was Bo Jackson bobblehead night. She knew my love for baseball and for Bo. This communicated love.
Photo Credit: Image created using DALL.E 2024 ChatGPT AI technology.
8. Take a Trip Down Memory Lane
Another fun idea might be to create a scrapbook, or digital photo book, of special family moments. And include notes where the kids express their love and gratitude. In Philippians 1:3, Paul says, "I thank my God every time I remember you." (Philippians 1:3) Taking time to compile these memories and then share them with your husband will communicate love. It’s a way of bonding and encouraging. Reflecting on all the years (if your kids are older) can not only be fun, but the choice of words here and there can help your husband know that you noticed the love and care he showed in many of these special moments. Memories are unity-making.
9. Make Something with the Kids
I don’t care how old my kids get; I still love getting handmade gifts from them. When my wife joins in the fun or even leads in picking the theme, it warms my heart. My kids are now 16 and 13, and as I send this off to get published, I’m secretly hoping that they’ve got something planned to make for Father’s Day. My son is super amazing at making music. My daughter is an artist. Last year, she wrote a poem/letter that was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read (that might have been for my birthday). And I love them. For some years, my wife has gotten the kids together to collaborate and make something. I love it. It’s something I can keep as a memory and always look back upon. I have a folder of these things on my desk. If I have a rough day, I can pull this out and smile.
I realize that some of these suggestions aren’t incredibly spiritual. But even in those little things where we enjoy creation, they are still acts of faith. And that’s really what Father’s Day is all about. We know that every father (and yes, mothers, too) will, at points, not live up to our high calling. It is only by grace that any of us are able to parent. We need Jesus to be faithful parents. As wives celebrate and honor their husbands on Father’s Day, it’s a great time to be thankful for the work that Christ is doing. The times when we dads “get it” are but shadows of our Heavenly Father. As you honor your husband, as well as your own father, see through the event and be sure to honor God as Father.
Photo Credit: Image created using DALL.E 2024 ChatGPT AI Technology.
Originally published Wednesday, 12 June 2024.