The holiday season is full of traditions, parties, and moments with family. We look forward to time with relatives, and parents with adult children who especially long for time with kids who have moved out and now have a life of their own.
Parents should feel pride when their children grow up and move out to their own adventures and careers and eventual families. Yet this also causes tension in the lives of parents. We reference these people as “empty nesters.”
So much of the life of parents revolves around the raising of kids, which is appropriate, that once their kids are up and out, the parents must make major adjustments.
Adult children don’t need their parents like they used to, but that doesn’t mean the children don’t need their parents at all. The relationship naturally and rightly changes, and parents of adult children must find new ways to bless their kids.
Here are seven ways to bless your adult children.
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Despite how it often feels or how the modern culture mocks it, prayer is the most powerful act you can do for your children at any age. Praying for adult children is a heartfelt and meaningful way to express love, support, and concern for their well-being.
Now that your children are adults, what should you pray for? First, ask for a deepening of faith in their relationship with God, a sense of purpose, and a connection to a supportive faith community.
If applicable, pray for your adult children’s marriages and families. Ask for unity, love, and grace in navigating the complexities of family life.
Pray for your adult children’s discernment and wisdom in making life decisions. Ask for guidance in their careers, relationships, and daily choices.
Pray for God’s protective hand over your adult children, shielding them from harm, danger, and negative influences. Ask for safety in their travels and daily activities.
Lift up prayers for the physical, emotional, and mental health of your adult children. Pray for their relationships, whether familial, romantic, or friendships.
Intercede for their careers and professional endeavors. Ask for success, fulfillment, and the ability to use their skills and talents for the greater good.
Pray for financial wisdom and stability. Ask for provision and guidance in managing resources, so that they may experience peace and abundance.
You may know of more specific needs and concerns, and you can target your prayers as such.
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Active listening is a crucial skill for effective communication, and it becomes especially important in the dynamic between parents and adult children.
Make sure the physical and emotional environment is conducive to open communication. Establishing and maintaining eye contact communicates attentiveness and genuine interest.
Use positive body language to show engagement. Nodding, smiling, and other affirmative gestures signal that you are actively listening and encouraging the conversation.
Periodically paraphrase or summarize what your adult child is saying. This not only confirms your understanding but also demonstrates that you are actively processing and internalizing their thoughts and feelings. Refrain from interrupting or interjecting your own thoughts while your adult child is speaking.
Encourage a deeper exploration of their thoughts and feelings by asking open-ended questions. This invites them to share more details and provides a richer understanding of their experiences.
Demonstrate empathy by acknowledging and validating their emotions. Reflecting on their feelings shows that you understand and care about their perspective.
It’s very important to practice suspending judgment, especially when discussing sensitive topics. Create a safe space for open dialogue by avoiding immediate criticism or disagreement.
Conclude the conversation by expressing your understanding of their perspective. Reiterate key points and share your feelings about what you've learned, fostering a sense of connection.
Active listening fosters stronger connections and promotes healthy communication between parents and adult children.
By prioritizing this skill, parents can create an environment where adult children feel heard, understood, and valued in their interactions with their parents.
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Respecting the choices of adult children is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Recognize and affirm the autonomy of your adult children. Understand that they are now independent individuals capable of making their own choices, even if those choices differ from what you might have envisioned.
While parents often have valuable insights to share, it’s crucial to refrain from offering unsolicited advice. Instead, wait for your adult children to seek guidance, respecting their need to make decisions autonomously.
Trust in the upbringing and values you have instilled in your children. Understand the boundaries between your role as a parent and the autonomy of your adult children. Avoid attempting to exert control or influence over aspects of their lives where they should rightfully make decisions.
Your adult children may have different beliefs, priorities, and paths, and respect their right to live authentically.
Then, rather than dwelling on differences, concentrate on shared values and common ground. Find areas of agreement and connection to maintain a strong bond despite differing choices.
Celebrate the successes and accomplishments of your adult children, even if the path taken is different from what you might have initially envisioned. Acknowledging their achievements demonstrates respect for their individual journey.
Periodically reassess and adjust your expectations. Recognize that as life evolves, so too will the choices and priorities of your adult children. Being adaptable allows for continued respect and understanding.
Actively respecting the choices of adult children fosters trust, understanding, and a sense of autonomy for adult children as they navigate their own paths.
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Sharing family traditions with adult children is a beautiful way to strengthen family bonds and create a sense of continuity across generations. What are some traditions of your family you could use to involve your adult children or pass them on?
Begin by initiating open and honest conversations with your adult children about the significance of family traditions. Share the stories behind these traditions and why they hold value for the family.
Actively involve adult children in the planning and execution of family traditions. Allow them to contribute their ideas and preferences, ensuring that these traditions evolve to incorporate their unique perspectives.
While preserving existing traditions is important, be open to creating new ones with your adult children. This collaborative approach ensures that family customs remain dynamic and relevant to all members.
Extend family traditions to celebrate milestones and achievements in the lives of adult children. Whether it's birthdays, graduations, or other significant events, incorporate familiar customs to create a sense of continuity and joy.
Share family stories, anecdotes, and memories with your adult children. Consider creating a family scrapbook or digital archive that captures the essence of these stories, making them easily accessible for future generations.
Strive for consistency in observing family traditions, but also recognize that flexibility is key. Adaptations may be necessary as family dynamics change and adult children establish their own households.
In actively sharing family traditions with adult children, parents contribute to the preservation of a rich tapestry of memories, values, and connections.
This intentional approach fosters a sense of belonging and continuity, creating a legacy that can be passed down through generations.
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Providing emotional support to adult children is crucial for nurturing healthy relationships and helping them navigate life’s challenges.
As we discussed prayer before, praying with your kids can be an amazing opportunity to show emotional support. Ask your adult children about what they might need and commit to praying for those things.
Take time to pray for them out loud, and then follow up in further conversations about what you’ve been praying for. Because prayer is powerful, often change and transformation will be seen over time, and this will strengthen the peace and faith of both you and your adult children.
Be physically and emotionally available. Offer your time and presence, demonstrating that you are there to support them whenever they need someone to talk to or lean on.
Active listening, as discussed earlier, is key. Encourage your adult children to share more about their emotions by asking open-ended questions. This allows for a deeper exploration of their feelings and fosters a sense of being heard and understood.
Provide words of encouragement and support. Remind your adult children of their strengths and resilience, especially during challenging times, to boost their confidence and self-esteem.
When appropriate, share your own experiences of overcoming challenges. This not only normalizes the ups and downs of life but also provides valuable insights that may resonate with your adult children.
Offer practical assistance when needed. Whether it's helping with tasks, providing resources, or offering a helping hand, taking concrete actions can alleviate stress and show your commitment to their well-being.
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Many times, when adult children strike out on their own, they meet financial challenges for the first time. Parents can play a pivotal role in offering valuable financial advice and guidance to their adult children, helping them navigate the complexities of managing money and building a secure financial future.
Begin by initiating open and non-judgmental conversations about finances. Share insights from your own financial journey. Share both successes and failures, illustrating practical lessons and emphasizing the importance of making informed decisions.
Guide your adult children in creating and adhering to a budget. Teach them the importance of tracking income and expenses, prioritizing needs over wants, and saving for both short-term and long-term goals, including an emergency fund.
Provide an introduction to the basics of investing. Encourage them to start investing early for maximum benefit, which includes retirement savings.
Discuss responsible debt management. Help your adult children understand the implications of taking on debt, the importance of maintaining a good credit score, and strategies for repaying debts in a timely manner.
Offer guidance on significant financial decisions, such as purchasing a home or car. Discuss factors like affordability, long-term financial implications, and the importance of thorough research.
Encourage responsible spending habits. Discuss the value of comparing prices, avoiding impulse purchases, and distinguishing between needs and wants.
In actively offering financial advice and guidance, parents empower their adult children to make informed decisions, cultivate healthy financial habits, and build a foundation for a secure and prosperous future.
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Expressing gratitude to adult children is a powerful way for parents to acknowledge their love and appreciation. Our kids may know we love them, but being thankful for someone conveys we also like and appreciate them, too.
Like prayer, words have power. Express gratitude through direct and sincere verbal communication. Simply saying “thank you” for their contributions, efforts, or positive impact in your life creates a strong connection.
Consider writing heartfelt notes or letters expressing your gratitude. Personalize the message by highlighting specific qualities, actions, or moments that you appreciate in your adult children.
Express gratitude publicly when appropriate. Whether in family gatherings, social events, or on special occasions, publicly acknowledging your appreciation reinforces the importance of their presence in your life.
Demonstrate gratitude by actively engaging in their lives. Show interest in their hobbies, aspirations, and challenges, reinforcing that you value their individuality and journey.
Spend quality time together. Whether it's sharing a meal, going for a walk, or engaging in activities you both enjoy, the investment of time demonstrates your appreciation for their presence in your life.
Acknowledge and celebrate their personal growth and development. Express gratitude for the individuals they've become and the positive contributions they make to their communities and relationships.
Consider giving meaningful gifts that reflect your appreciation. These could be items that hold sentimental value, reflect their interests, or symbolize the unique connection you share.
In actively expressing gratitude to adult children, parents cultivate a positive and affirming relationship.
Your kids are now adults. The ones you bounced on your knee now have homes and lives of their own. As we move into the amazing holiday season, we encounter many opportunities for ways to bless our adult kids.
Hopefully, you’ve found some great ideas to incorporate into your life as you learn to parent your kids in this new season of life.
For further reading:
10 Mighty Prayers for Your Adult Children
What Does it Mean to be a Child of God as an Adult?
7 Ways Adult Children Can Love Their Aging Parents
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