Are you resting too much in Jesus, neglecting service? If you love him, you want to be with him, be fruitful, and serve others: both are important. This is a genuine conundrum: how to be a good balance of “Mary” and “Martha”. Even if you get close to the right balance, most of us tend to be more one than the other. Here are seven ways to assess your personal balance.
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1. Sabbath Rest Prepare Us for a Purposeful Week
Daniel R. Hyde explains that, originally, God’s people worked 6 days and rested on the seventh as per God’s creation model. But, “when Jesus rose from the dead on the first day of the week, things changed.” He finished the work we could not achieve by ourselves and brought us rest: “For Christians under the new covenant, the day of worship and celebration of the Lord’s grace in Jesus Christ was to be the first day of the week, Sunday.” We start our working week with a rest day, an important opportunity to remember why we are here first: to love, serve, and glorify God.
Sabbath, often a Sunday for Christians, is the day of the week when we refresh ourselves and remember who we are. It is a day to remember that we are so loved that Christ came to redeem us for eternity (John 3:16).
From this place of rest, we can reasonably and peacefully approach the challenges: the decisions about spending our time and leisure. When we are satisfied in Christ, this is like sweeping the clutter away, which quiets the Spirit as he tries to give us clear direction. If you feel muddled, you could be working towards rest and not out of it. Or maybe you are not really asking God but turning to other voices, including your own.
Remember that Sabbath rest is not “idleness” but a time to restore wholeness with God through prayer and reflection. This is the anapauó of Matthew 11:28: “to give rest, give intermission from labor, by implication refresh.” Jesus knows we are weary in mind and body. He invites us to rest in him before following him into a world of hurt and need.
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2. Jesus Modeled a Balance of Work, Rest, and Worship.
What you notice about Jesus’ life is that it is not all work. His first miracle takes place at a wedding, where he was celebrating. But Jesus’ mother asked for help. Jesus replied, “‘Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.’ His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’” (John 2:4-5) After accomplishing the task of turning water into wine, Jesus returned to the celebrations.
Later, we learn that Jesus “frequently withdrew to the wilderness to pray” (Luke 5:16). He would often do this in the morning before the day began. Jesus’ Sabbath rest was a choice to put God first every day, and he worked from that place of rest. The Savior of the world modeled how we glorify, serve, and love God after having sought his direction and his peace. “The Sabbath is for man, not man for Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27)
But he was also interruptible, working at all hours, and could never truly get away. The days were long and grueling for Jesus and also for the disciples. In Mark 6, we read how Jesus called them away from the crowds so they could rest “for many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.” (Mark 6:31). From this model, we know that God will make time for us to be restored in him - to spend time with him - but it is not wrong to be busy if our busyness serves his Kingdom purposes.
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3. Serving Out of Joy, Not Duty
We all need to have a heart-to-heart with ourselves, mediated by the Holy Spirit. In this “discussion,” we ask, “How do I feel about the work I am doing?” Do this regularly - there often comes a point where you realize the joy is gone and work is all about duty. Maybe family members are complaining that they never see you.
It is time to take a break when you forget why and for whom you serve when you serve to save yourself, and when you serve to look good and impress people. Talk to the Lord, talk to a mentor, your pastor, or a counselor.
3 Truths to Test Your Motive for Serving
1. ”For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works,”. (Ephesians 2:8-9) You do not save yourself by working. The work is finished.
2. When we love God, we “serve the Lord with gladness.” (Psalm 100:2). If you cannot connect your work to the one you work for, it does not please him or you.
3. Christ saved us, so you have nothing to boast about. (Ephesians 2:9) We do not work to build a reputation for ourselves but for the Lord. “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)
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4. Alighning Your Passion with God's Purpose
One way to serve without it being oppressive is to do so in a way that makes service enjoyable and even restful. Remember that you serve out of the resources God gave you. John Piper asserts, "God is seen as glorious when all our serving is moment-by-moment receiving from God’s supply.” Some forms of service can feel like rest if we enjoy God and the company of others while we work.
For example, if you volunteer in the nursery or other Children’s ministry because you genuinely love kids, you can have fun and be nourished while doing something important. If you love music, you are keen to give up a few hours every month as a musician for the worship team or a group that tours retirement homes.
If you choose to clean and make meals for people you care about who are suffering, this is a way of nurturing a personal longing to help your friend and to spend time with people you love while also serving Christ. “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27). It feels deeply satisfying when we realize that our longings and God’s longings have intersected in an act of obedience.
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5. Serving Others Brings Personal Growth
Analyzing cost and return as though service were a financial investment sounds cold and counterproductive in the spiritual sense. Yet, there really are practical benefits. Even Jesus used a financial parallel: the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25) when discussing sharing the gospel. Whether for your own sake or when discussing the matter with your children and young people you influence, recognize the objective and subjective benefits.
Some employers prefer to hire people who volunteer. Although they are wary of schedules that could interfere with availability and energy at work, community involvement earns extra points in an interview. Regular participation in service demonstrates motivation, cooperation, dedication, and discipline.
A service-minded person might be more positive and compassionate. Also, according to Indeed, “volunteering can bring joy and happiness to the volunteer by giving them opportunities to help those in need.” A person who stays busy (within reason) by engaging in sports, hobbies, and volunteerism gets things done and is positive and energetic. If such a person remains humble, he or she might even help raise the bar of integrity and motivation at work.
“Volunteering helps individuals build interpersonal skills, which always benefits a team environment. And if the employer wants to promote volunteerism, he or she might consider setting an example.
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6. Find Balance to Prevent Burnout
The adage is statistically proven: a small group of people really does the majority of the work. Charity Village reports that “the top 25% of volunteers accounted for 78% of total hours of volunteer support.” Are you a worker bee? And if so, do you resent it? Martha did. She complained to Jesus about Mary: “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” (Luke 10:40)
Volunteer coordinators need to watch for signs: “We do not notice the burnout coming until it is too late, and what you are left with is either a very unhappy volunteer or a great volunteer who quits.” Jesus noticed a problem with volunteer commitment, commenting that there was a rich harvest of potential believers—and few people to do the harvesting (Luke 10:2). A handful of believers worked extra hard to fill the gaps.
However, volunteers cannot expect other over-committed volunteers to notice. Signs of trouble include “lack of enthusiasm for the mission of your organization or the work itself, negativity or complaining, not attending to responsibilities or canceling shifts, overreacting to simple problems, and performance slipping.”
What is the answer? Jesus replied to Martha: “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (v.42) Mary focused on Jesus, and she found joy there. Her identity was in her Savior and not in her work, and when work is your identity, you end up with unfulfilled expectations. People do not affirm or help you as you think they should. They appear not to appreciate you. A work focus without rest takes Jesus out of the equation, and you become your own unacknowledged Savior or a self-styled martyr: no wonder you are resentful, negative, depressed, and even anxious.
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7. A Lack of Balance Affects Our Relationships
The input of friends, family, and co-workers adds dimension to our perceptions. Their experience of us is a barometer: when we serve gladly, we are more enjoyable to be around. If we rest too much, we rely on others to fill our time.
When we work too much, we act as though people are a distraction and their needs are an intrusion. We do not listen well, and we have very little to give. We behave as though being with them is another missionary act instead of something friends do because they like to.
Despite his workload, Jesus was gentle and kind because he spent time with God regularly and served him gladly. Who gives you an honest answer about your work-life balance? Do you wait for life to blow up in your face? “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10)
Ask: Do I work too hard so I can achieve glory for myself? Do I think constantly about my own fatigue and how overlooked I feel? Remember, as Tim Keller taught, “The essence of gospel humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself; it is thinking of myself less.”
Chan Kilgore talks about our spiritual tank on a scale of 1-10, 1 being “empty” and ten being “full.” He says, "We are most productive between seven and ten, and least productive between one and five. Typically, we drain ourselves to two or three (or worse) and then take a day off or a vacation.” When we are drained, we lack the traits of love, which are the Fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23) And when we wait too long to rest, our spiritual batteries do not recharge enough to where we are at peace with God and others. The imperative to work is Biblical, but so is the imperative to rest in him. Otherwise, our work lacks love. “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3)
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Sources: https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/rest-and-gospel
https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/why-christians-worship-sunday
https://biblehub.com/greek/373.htm
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-does-it-mean-to-serve-god
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/why-volunteering-is-important
https://charityvillage.com/the_road_to_volunteer_burnout_how_to_avoid_it_and_how_to_manage_it/
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/19163471-the-freedom-of-self-forgetfulness-the-path-to-true-christian-joy
Originally published Monday, 28 October 2024.