Being a parent is one of the most incredible and important jobs I have ever held, and I have had a couple. I would even rate parenting higher than that of a nurse, which I trained as at one point. The reason is simple: In nursing, I have others who have my back and can pick up my slack, and in admin, I have a gracious boss who understands when I have overcommitted. But my children have only my husband and me. We need to get it right.
I understand sayings like “it takes a village to raise kids” and that some parents have help from aunts, uncles, grandparents, and honorary family. But that is not the case for us all. Thankfully, by God's grace, we do not have to parent alone. In every season of life, God is with us, preparing us and preparing a way for us. This is true also in parenting.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/vlada_maestro
Parenting is hard, but it taught me much about God and his nature. I often find myself praying:
Dear God,
I struggle to understand your ways, and while I know from Isaiah that your ways are higher than mine, I sometimes confuse your “No” with punishment. Oh Lord, help my inner teenager to remember you only want the best for me when you say “No” to me that no is full of grace and comes from a place of love. Just as I must say no to my children because it is not the right time or it wouldn’t be safe for them, you must also say no to me. Remind me, heavenly father, that your love for me is what dictates your decisions and that you are not a dictator of a father choosing to confine me and dictate to me as your anger sees fit.
In your name
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Andrey Popov
Parenting has some interesting seasons. I remember having all three of my children and the newborn baby phase so well—the days when they needed us for absolutely everything. To be fed, changed, nursed, popped to bed, stimulated with age-appropriate toys, and kept safe. I remember loving that season but being highly aware of my need for space and time to breathe where I was not always needed. Even just 1 hour a month on my own was enough to recharge my batteries and return to the ever-growing and never-reducing list of things that needed to be done. Often, I would find myself saying to God,
Dear God,
I love my children deeply. They are quite literally the apple of my eye, but in this season. At the same time, my introverted personality is being pulled from one person to another with nowhere silent to recharge my batteries as it was. Would you be the one I can run to? Even while I nurse these babes or rock them to sleep, would you pour in the grace I need in this season to love on them fully while running on empty? I know you are the source of all I need physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Would you be with me today in the trenches of dirty nappies and vomit, the toys, and the laundry?
In Jesus Name
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/FamVeld
Then I found the season came for terrible twos. We had tiny, cute bundles of pink, which we created, running through the house and looking adorable, but when poked, they became like bears who would roar. The season of independence and “I can do it myself” statements. Oh, those were the days. But friend, if you have loved on a child this season, you know the days are long, but the years are so short. I have strong-willed children, and I never wanted to break their personalities, so I would say:
Dear God,
I thank you for my children, my little bundles, but I know they are your children—your perfect creations. Today, they have pushed all the buttons, destroyed every room, and are still convinced they can do everything by themselves.
How often do I sound similar?! How often, God, do I come to you claiming I can fix the mess I have made only to make it messier? How often do I come to you claiming I can do it myself, I don’t need you, only to find that God, you are the only one who truly knows what He is doing?
Remind me that they are doing what they should be doing, learning and growing, and I need to allow room for them to flourish. Help me to guide them as Psalm 23 tells me you guide me.
In your Name
Amen
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
The years following the terrible twos are often fun—playing games, finding dolls, and being creative. But they are also fraught with children who sometimes get anxious, have nightmares, or fear starting school. For some of us, school is the very first time we have left our kids with someone else. So, I would have prayed.
Dear Jesus,
I know these little people you entrusted into my care are growing and being creative. I know they love to draw, decorate, run, and explore, and I love those little natures I see growing in my children. Their characters are really starting to show.
Lord, I pray that you will protect my children as I send them to school and bring along good and trustworthy friends for them. I pray that they will have a teacher who understands them and helps them grow into the person you have called and are designing them to be, and they will not fear talking of you, God, to those around them.
Father God, as I put my children to bed at night, I ask you to presence yourself in their rooms, keep all negative, satanic, and unwanted thoughts, dreams, and visions from them, and let them have a restful night’s sleep so that they may wake tomorrow with fresh eyes, ready to run, roam, and explore this wonderful world you gave us.
In Your Name
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
At this point, it seemed like our kids would love and kiss us, give hugs, and enjoy time forever. But then, with a rude awakening, along came the teen years, which brought with them heartache, hormones, attitudes, and independence. We struggled to see them as young adults and not little children who enjoyed stories and play times.
Dear God,
I thank you that you go before us and that you are a good father who loves us. You love us despite our failings, even when we get it wrong. In this season of loving our teens, it feels like we are getting it wrong more than right if our teens are anything to go by.
God, in this season when hormones are rampant and we are navigating independence with our children, help us remember they are your children. You love them and will protect them whatever the day brings. God, I know you are always looking over them and after them.
Lord, when they make friends in a new school, I pray that you bring good friends along, protect them from drugs and alcohol, and help them do well in their school work. Jesus, help me not to stand in the way of all you have for them and understand that their lives now are the foundation of the testimony they will one day talk of. You have purposed them, and I pray that you would help us be the parents our kids return to when the teen years are long gone. I pray against anxiety, I pray you would protect them on social and smartphones, and I ask you, Lord, that you would be a wonderful counselor to them when life is hard. Bring along brilliant youth leaders to assist them in their walk with you and help us, God, as parents, to listen well and encourage them positively.
In Jesus Name
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Fizkes
We have yet to reach the amazing stage of parenting adults, but I am already praying that the Lord, who was present with us through all the phases so far, will also be abundantly present in the next stages.
Dear God,
As our children decide and debate who they will be when they are grown, I pray that the Holy Spirit who lives within each will prompt them in which direction to go. I pray that whatever their hands find to do, they will do it all as though they are serving you and not an earthly master. Jesus, I know you have a plan for them, and I pray they will walk in it, being a light for you wherever they go.
I pray they will study hard, be diligent in their education, and have a great work ethic.
I also pray that as we look ahead to the spouse they would marry, you would prepare the right woman or man for them and that you would already be lining up the person that compliments them. Someone who makes them laugh and supports them in all the wild adventures you call them to. I pray their spouse would love and fear you and my child would grow to love and fear you. Their marriage would outlive itself, and their children would grow up in a home surrounded by love, joy, and peace. Jesus, I know you to be the breaker of chains, and I pray that over my children and their spouses, break any chain that binds them, any hindrance that stands in the way of them being who you have called them to be.
In your name
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Paperkites
The last prayer I have been praying for my children is one that, unfortunately, we will all face: grief. A short while ago, my father died, and my children experienced death for the first time at the ages of 11, 10, and 3. I have been praying and will continue to pray:
Dear God,
I thank you that you have the final say over life and death. While death was never the intent of your creation, it is something we live with because of the first sin. I thank you that you are the giver of life, but death on this earth is not the end. There is an eternity to spend with you.
God, I pray over my children that you would help them to grieve well when death comes when someone they love takes their last breath, that you would be with them, supporting them as they take their next breath, as they uphold those around them and as they walk through that valley of darkness that you would be the light that guides them.
I pray against any anxiety that exists because of grief and I pray that you would be with them, You would support them. You would help them to see and understand that eternity is forever, and they will see them again. As I tell them when I die, it is only “see you later”; I will have the kettle boiled, excited to pick up where we left off. Lord, I have no biblical basis for it.
However, I trust that I will see them, and they will see me again in the glorious views of heaven with our Heavenly Father. Please help us to see death for what it is: simply a door to everlasting life with you, sins gone, sickness gone, and an eternity to spend in the splendor of your presence.
In Jesus Name
Amen.
As parents, we must pray over our children and talk to the Lord about them. This is a glimmer into my life with my kids, and I hope it encourages you to pray over yours. God Bless you.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/AntonioGuillem