During Thanksgiving, my mom used to always open our home to others. Whether it was family friends or new neighbors, she would invite them to Thanksgiving dinner. I remember her saying to my sisters and I that we needed to invite anyone who looked like they needed a home for Thanksgiving. It pained my mother to think of anyone spending their Thanksgiving alone.
At my mother's request, I kept an eye open for anyone who might look like they needed a friendly home for Thanksgiving and a warm meal. While I never encountered anyone who met that description, my dad would often bring his friend, whom we later called our uncle, to a few Thanksgiving celebrations. My “uncle” was not related by blood, but he did become one of the family. He had no family of his own; his own parents had already passed away and his sisters passed away in childhood. My uncle didn't say much, but when he did, it was always very profound and made you think.
Although both he and my mother have passed away, I often think of inviting others for Thanksgiving who might be in need of a family, just like my mother did. Similar to how my mom opened her home for others, maybe we each could do the same.
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1. Be on the Lookout for Anyone Who Seems Like They May Need a Home
The first protocol when opening up your home to others for Thanksgiving is to be on the lookout for anyone who looks like they may need a loving home this Thanksgiving. While it is not advisable to bring unsavory or unsafe individuals into your home, try to look for people at work, school, or activity groups that you are part of, and see who might need a Thanksgiving invite. Maybe this is a woman at work who just went through a divorce, or a peer at college who has recently gone through a hard time.
By looking out for people like this, you are truly being the hands and feet of the Lord. The Lord tells us, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35). Inviting these individuals to your Thanksgiving celebration helps them to know that they matter. They might not have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving. Don't assume anything and don't be passive.
Choose to be present and think about what you would want others to do for you. Nobody wants to be alone on Thanksgiving. Open your home to anyone who may look like they need a loving home this year and it will be as rewarding to them as it is to you. It will ensure that they see a demonstration of the love Jesus has for them. Over Thanksgiving dinner, talk about the Lord and what He has done for you. You never know, you might also become a Christian mentor to one of the people you invite to Thanksgiving dinner.
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2. Be Friendly to Others
A huge lesson my mother taught me early on was to be friendly to others. I always have had a habit of being shy and reclusive. Due to being afraid of what people think or say about me, I tend to stay quiet and out of the way. My mom told me that if I continued to be so shy and distant from others that they would think I was being cold, aloof, or standoffish. If I continued to do these things, my mom was certain nobody would ever think I was friendly.
Therefore, if you also have the tendency to be shy and insecure like myself, try to be more open and friendly. This can be a foolproof way to open your home this Thanksgiving. If you are kind, approachable, and welcoming, it will be more inviting to others. They will migrate to you and be more open to talking with you. This, in turn, will help you invite them to your Thanksgiving celebration. Whether the person you are inviting is a friend, a family member, or someone you haven't seen in a long time, try to be friendly and open.
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3. Ask Directly
When we are mastering the art of welcoming others into our homes this Thanksgiving, we cannot overlook the action of asking directly. If you are like me, sometimes you can beat around the bush. My therapist taught me that this isn't the best course of action as it can be confusing. Therefore, try to be as direct as possible when you are opening your home this Thanksgiving. Share the invite with the people you want to come, tell them the exact time and the location.
By doing this, there will be no confusion. Instead, everyone will fully understand what is being established. Most people like direct answers. If they have any questions, they will be sure to follow-up with you. If being direct is a struggle for you, try to practice being direct with a family member or friend.
A sample sentence could be, “Would you like to come to my home for Thanksgiving dinner?” If they say yes, you can give further information about the location. It might surprise you how much being direct will actually encourage you to open your home to others.
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4. Consider Inviting Estranged Family Members
Now, I understand this may be difficult for some people, but it is a way to open your home this Thanksgiving. Maybe you haven't seen your mom or dad in a while. You had a bad argument and you haven't spoken since. Or maybe you had a falling out with your sibling and you haven't seen them in a while. In either case, consider inviting them to your Thanksgiving dinner. Open your home to them and also open your heart.
Release any unforgiveness you might be holding against them. The Bible is clear that we must forgive as the Lord has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). If we don't do this, we will not be extending the love of the Lord in our actions. We will be rejecting love for hate, anger, and resentment. Jesus doesn't want us to do that as it will only eat us from the inside out.
Choose the path of forgiveness and reconnection. This is ultimately the path Jesus chose when He died for our sins and restored us into the family of God (John 3:16-17). With this in mind, try to reach out to any estranged family members, try to connect with them, and invite them to Thanksgiving this year. Pray for strength and leave the rest to Jesus.
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5. Invite the New Neighbors (or Neighbors You Already Know)
Whenever a new neighbor would move into our neighborhood, my mom would send my two older sisters and I over to their house to invite them for Thanksgiving. Whether they were older, younger, had a family, or no family, she would have us invite them. Some said yes and others would say no. If they didn't show up, my mother wasn't upset, but had us take a plate over to them anyway.
Most of the new neighbors appreciated my mom’s kindness and hospitality. Even if there are no new neighbors in your neighborhood, invite neighbors you already know. If they are alone this Thanksgiving, they will appreciate the offer. Maybe they won't show up like many of the people we invited, but that is okay.
All you can do is open your home and open your heart. This is what the Lord wants us to do. Even if they don't accept, we can still extend the love of Jesus to them. Thanksgiving has a way of making us more kind and open to others, which is why we need to do all we can to help others know they matter and belong this year.
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6. Open Your Home to Anyone Who Has Recently Experienced the Death of a Loved One
Anyone who has gone through the death of a loved one knows how much pain and emptiness comes with their absence. After my mom passed, I didn't want to celebrate Thanksgiving ever again. It didn't feel right to celebrate without her around. After all, my mom was the glue to our family and once she passed away, everything fell apart. We didn't end up celebrating Thanksgiving the year my mom passed, but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if someone met my family and I where we were and invited us for an evening at their home the year my mom passed away.
My mom was so kind to open her home to others, yet nobody returned the favor. To be honest, as a teen, this made me feel angry all over again. My mom had done so much for the people in our community, but they couldn't return her kindness to her grieving family. As an adult, I now understand that it was a lot to ask of these individuals as they didn't quite understand the pain of losing a loved one so close to a holiday.
Thanksgiving still brings much pain into my heart, but it is also a time to remember my mom. I have done my best to keep her alive in my writing and to help point others to the Lord through the grief I walk through every day. Maybe learning about her kindness will also encourage you to open your home to others this Thanksgiving, especially to those who have recently lost a loved one.
Related Resource: Cultivating Connection Amidst Loneliness
In today's world, characterized by advanced technology and increasing isolation, there's a pressing need to foster real connection. As technology continues to advance, genuine human connections are taking a backseat. However, in Scripture, we find that God recognizes, "It is not good for man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18). As part of God’s unique design, He wired us for meaningful connection where we find strength, love, and support from others.
This week on Jesus Calling, as we celebrate Thanksgiving and a season of connection and gratitude, we have two pastors to help us navigate a season that also can be lonely and disconnected. Author and pastor Levi Lusko sheds light on the growing loneliness crisis in our highly connected world, and Daniel Darling explains the fundamental aspects of healthy relationships, including forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust. If you like what you hear, be sure to subscribe to Jesus Calling on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
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Originally published Thursday, 07 November 2024.