Pastoral ministry is weird. Some people will uncomfortably put us on a pedestal and treat us as above other humans. And others will painfully treat us as sub-human. Most people are somewhere in the middle. In my experience, many of those in the second category were once in the first category. It is as George Carlin once said, “If you scratch a cynic, you’ll find a disappointed idealist.”
I remember at one particular church a couple, frustrated with their previous church, came excitedly into my office wanting to join. They sung my praises. And then they said those words which I had grown to dread, “We’re here because of you.” Early in ministry my pride and insecurity would have relished those words. But by this point experience taught me to grieve that statement. If they come because of me, they’ll leave because of me too.
As pastors, our job is to be like a sheepdog. Or, to use another metaphor, we are under-shepherds. Our goal is always to speak the words of Christ to people needing to be fed with the Word. We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus. In some ways, we’re most like John the Baptist—with bony fingers protruding towards the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. We are hope-peddling pointers. However you want to phrase it—pastoral ministry isn’t about us pastors.
Yet, we pastors can, at times, have fragile egos. We can sinfully attach our identity to whether or not people follow us. In a word, pastors can be idolaters too. And what we often see is a mutual exchange between pastor and congregation—an idolater for the praise of people, creating idolaters of themselves. Sometimes, your pastor is incredibly humble, abhors this pull towards celebrity, and labors to point to Jesus, yet a congregant is prone to an unhealthy following.
How can we spot this in our own hearts? What are signs that we might be improperly following our pastor? Or worse yet, how can we tell if we are idolizing someone who is supposed to be our shepherd? Here are five signs.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Vadym Terelyuk
Oh, wait, I think before we really get going here, we need to clear something up. When I say “your pastor,” I don’t necessarily mean the person who is preaching at the church you attend on Sunday morning. Some of y’all consider your pastor to be some dude you listen to online; you read all their books, you listen to their podcast, etc. Even if you don’t go to their church, functionally, this person is still your pastor—and you’re probably even more prone to idolize someone from a distance.
A couple hundred years ago, most people would have only heard or read a handful of pastors. That is no longer the case. We are inundated with information. There is a good chance that those of you reading this are not part of my congregation. You are learning (at least, hopefully) from someone who is not your pastor. If you’re challenged by something here—or in other articles—and your first instinct is to run it by your pastor, that’s a red flag.
It's good to respect the opinion of your pastor. It’s good to want to be sure that you are seeing things correctly. This is part of their job in shepherding. But there is an unhealthy devotion to their opinion. And that is usually a sign that things are out of balance. I’m not saying don’t care what they think. But at the end of the day, your faith needs to be your own, not that of your pastor. It’s okay to think on your own. Be like a Berean in Acts 17:11. Test everything by the Word.
Photo Credit: ©Ben White/Unsplash
Tim Keller defines idolatry as “loving anything more than Jesus Christ. Idolatry is treating anything as more important than Jesus Christ for your meaning in life, for your happiness, for your security and hope, or for your self-regard.”[1]
I don’t think many Christians would readily admit that we love anything more than Jesus Christ. But one way this will show itself, even in seed form, is in our emotions. If I have my pastor on a pedestal, I’ll put too much weight upon their approval or disapproval. And my emotions will follow that. When I see things like anger and being easily offended crop up in my heart, I look to see if something is out of proportion. That’s not to say that a pastor shouldn’t be good at knowing their people. They should. Likewise, it’s entirely normal to like this person you call a pastor. And it’s normal to be happy when they are around—I’m excited when I get to be with friends. But there is also a way for this to be out of balance.
Photo Credit: Unsplash/Melyna Valle
[1] https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/new-city-catechism/what-is-idolatry/
If you’re married or you’ve dated someone for any length of time, you know about those early stages of a relationship. You really like them; they really like you. But in reality, you don’t know who they even are, and they don’t know who you really are. That’s because we like to put our best foot forward. That’s not exactly idolatry—but it does point to an imbalance.
Now, if you have a difficult time being authentic with anyone, feel free to ignore this point. Though you probably shouldn’t ignore that tendency. But if you are generally a pretty authentic person but you have a tendency to wear a mask around your pastor, that could be a tell that idolatry is present. It could also mean that your pastor is judgmental and controlling, but let’s assume the best in them here.
We can also see this from the other end. One of my pet peeves is when someone will say to me, “And you’re a pastor!?!?!” I wish I could tag my voice here because there is a certain inflection here. The “you’re” weighting it feels like a condemning question. And “a pastor” is said with a disgust that you might have when an expectation is not met.
Don’t hear me wrong. Pastors should be above reproach. There is a sense in which our sin ought to surprise others. But in another sense, it shouldn’t surprise us at all. Pastors are people, too. And they should be able to be authentic. Most of the time, when I hear those statements, it’s not because of some horrendous thing I’ve done but rather because of some weird quirk that I have that has little to nothing to do with a relationship with Christ. We will fight to keep the faults of our idols from showing.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Luis Alvarez
There is a particularly popular Bible teacher that I like to call Captain Obvious. It’s not because he says obvious things as if they are profound, but rather because he likes to say things like, “Obviously, this text means…” There are times when the text is pretty obvious. However, this teacher will say things like this when there are multiple valid interpretations of a passage. Unsurprisingly, many of his followers seem to view his interpretation of a passage as the only valid option.
When we can’t disagree with our pastor, we’re in a dangerous place. Always disagreeing or having a posture of disrespect is not healthy either. The healthiest place to be is to engage with their teachings thoughtfully while remaining open to other faithful interpretations of the Word. No teacher is going to get everything correctly. And if you start to think they do—you’re likely engaging in a bit of idol worship.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Brian A. Jackson
There’s a healthy kind of loyalty to a pastor who has genuinely shepherded you well. But our loyalty is ultimately to Christ. And while pastors can be incredibly helpful in fostering our spiritual growth, our dependence is on the Spirit for the fruit produced in our life. Do you view attendance as loyalty to the pastor? Are you showing up for the pastor or for your relationship with Christ?
If the thought of leaving their church makes you worry that your spiritual growth will come to a halt, this betrays an unhealthy attachment. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 3:6-7 that it is God who brings the growth, not any single leader. If you feel as though only your pastor’s teaching or influence will foster your faith, it may be time to ask whether your loyalty is anchored in them or Christ.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Chuang Tzu Dreaming
Our relationship with Christ is the most important part of us. Good pastors help us grow in Jesus. Through this relationship, sometimes, the line between what our pastor does and what Christ is doing in our lives is blurred. It’s understandable when these things get out of balance. But it also needs to be repented of—that’s for you and for your pastor. What has been said of money might be said of a pastor, “They make a wonderful servant but a terrible master.” Your fidelity is to Christ. Get that anchored, and you’ll likely do well at appropriately loving and following your pastor. It’s when that gets out of whack that we find ourselves in a dangerous place in our relationship with our leaders.
Photo Credit:
©Pexels/kurt lichtmann