School is officially out, and summer is finally here! Do you remember that magical last-day-of-school feeling? It might feel a little different now that you are the parent. Longer days ahead, more meals to prepare, extra snacks to pass out, and the daily question, “What are we going to do today?” Before you let the summer heat zap your energy, I want to encourage you to go into this summer season with a (realistic) plan to fill up on what I am calling the “family love bucket” with four intentional ways to shepherd your child over the next few months.
Throughout the school year, calendars are packed with nearly every minute planned. From classes and sports practices to instrumental lessons and weekend games, a special level of energy is required in the family. To prepare ourselves and our families for another school year, it is important to fill the energy tank with love and intentional family time this summer so we can pull from the reserves when we need it throughout the school year. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says,
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Summer is the best time to pour into “the family love bucket.”
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1. What Does it Mean to Shepherd a Child's Spiritual Growth?
As we guide our child through the summer, we should absolutely prioritize their spiritual growth. First and foremost, pray that God would guide you in leading your children in their knowledge and love for Him and others. Our Creator always knows best, and yes, He knows your child better than you do. Ask the Source!
Perhaps God will open doors for your children to participate in a vacation Bible school at a local church. I have signed my older two children up for at least three Vacation Bible Schools this summer and plan to follow along their theme at home. We will use the church’s main VBS Bible verse and work on memorizing it when we are together. At night, we will read the Scripture and Bible story together as a family.
Another way to guide your child’s spiritual development is to pick a family devotional, Bible story, or book and read it together throughout the summer. For middle and high school teens specifically, I would encourage you to find a Christian young adult book or two geared toward their age group, read it together, and make a weekly date to talk about it. Make the weekly talks fun! Go get ice cream and discuss a chapter. Take for a walk, just the two of you, one night after dinner. Chips and salsa are always a win for teens (and me, if we are being honest!). As their parents, you have a huge influence on their spiritual growth. Remember, more is caught than taught, so allow them to see you taking the time to hone in on your personal pursuit of Christ and often talk about your revelations, prayers, and conversations with God you are having.
Finally, think of a way to serve together as a family—something you may not normally have the time to do throughout the school year. This could be as simple as buying a couple of boxes of ice cream bars one evening, throwing them in a cooler, and inviting neighbors to come grab a free ice cream bar. Use that opportunity to teach your kids the value of connecting with the community and doing something kind for others. There are so many creative ways to reach others—brainstorm a few ideas as a family over dinner and create a plan to love others intentionally.
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2. How Can We Shepherd Our Child's Ability to Form Healthy Friendships?
Summer is a great time to foster our children’s relationships. Ask, “What friends do we want our kids around and how can we nurture those friendships?” Cultivate opportunities for your children to connect with other kids from church. Proverbs 12:26 reminds us, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” As their guardians, we must be vigilant in protecting their minds, bodies, hearts, and souls. Be picky with who your child spends time with and stay unapologetic about setting strong boundaries when it comes to who they hang around. “Bad company corrupts good character,” says 1 Corinthians 15:33, so choose wisely!
Christian or not, every parent is different. Summer is a great time to invest in the families you want to spend time with and get to know if their values match your own. Invite other parents and children over for a barbeque or head to lunch after church one Sunday to strengthen relationships between your families. It does not have to be complicated, nor do you need a degree in hospitality. It simply takes planning and intentionality.
Finally, teach your children the value and influence they possess in their friendships. Not only does this help their summer friendships to flourish, but it equips them to face another school year with new friends and classmates. Build your child’s confidence in their leadership as a friend and remind them to “clothe [themselves] with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12). Remember, the ultimate goal in their friendships is not so they have another birthday party to go to but rather, put an emphasis on the importance of Godly friendships and community as they grow older.
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3. The Value of Instilling Life Skills in Our Children
When everyone is at home, there are ample opportunities to teach kids a few new life skills. You bet I am talking about new chores! Alright, not just new chores, but age-appropriate skills and tasks they can carry on throughout the school year. Is it time for your teen to learn how to do a load of laundry? Can the toddler pour the dog food into his bowl without spilling 300 nibbles? If so, let the lessons begin!
The goal of teaching our children life skills goes beyond lessening our own to-do list—though that certainly helps. When we are deliberate about advancing their skill sets, we empower them in their confidence as growing young adults. Learning to cook a new meal or operate a lawn mower is invaluable. Teaching your almost-kindergartener to tie their own shoes is a great summer task to tackle.
Behind every functioning household is at least one person putting in some serious work. When we train our family to each play a role in the overall load, we instill value and teamwork in the home. Sure, there might be pushback here, but include your children in the new skills they are interested in and actually want to learn. When we give our children a voice in the new abilities they seek to know, we foster a sense of learning outside the classroom. I call that a major win.
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4. Find Ways to Create Fun Family Memories
Filling your family’s summer love bucket will largely come from the time you spend together as a family. I am not saying you need to make every minute intentional, but there certainly have to be intentional minutes. Take the pressure off of yourself now to make your vacation the most magical memory-making moment of your family’s summer. Vacation with children, especially little ones, is often just a trip as you parent in another state! Shift your mindset into making memories as you go through the summer.
One suggestion is to come up with a list of six activities to do as a family, write them individually on a piece of paper, and place them in a jar. When boredom strikes or a Saturday comes around, pull out a piece of paper. Some suggestions for your jar: “Ice cream sundae bar for dinner,” “Have a sibling sleepover,” or a personal favorite, “Christmas in July,” where together, you bake your family’s favorite batch of Christmas cookies and watch a beloved Christmas movie. The ideas are endless!
Memories do not equate to spending loads of money. Find the local free splash pads, investigate your local theater for dollar movie specials, or check out where kids eat free with the purchase of an adult entrée. The goal is to be together. When you are all together, relationships are strengthened, and memories will naturally happen.
Summer is not about running ragged with loading the calendar. Create margin and be intentional about your role in shepherding your child’s summer. When you foster their spiritual growth, nurture their friendships, teach them a new life skill, and plan a few family activities, God will continue to grow your child into the young man or young woman He has called them. What a gift to play such a vital role. When the school year comes back around, all too quickly, they will feel restored and prepared for the new season ahead. Now, go fill your summer love bucket!
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/fizkes
Originally published Tuesday, 04 June 2024.