How did I end up here? Why do I feel like I’m back at square one? How am I supposed to start over? Can I actually launch something fresh or go in a brand-new direction? Is it possible to reinvent myself and my life? Should I even try to begin again?
When we go through any major life transition, these are the types of questions that keep us up at night, with our hearts unsettled and our minds searching for answers. We long to be successful and have the courage and faith to persevere, and we pray for the future to be good while secretly wondering if we have what it takes to push forward into new and unchartered territory.
When we’re facing a new season of life because of circumstances beyond our control—an empty nest, a divorce, the death of a spouse or child, going back to work after years of staying home raising children, midlife, a new job, a relocation, or a new home - it’s hard to face the unknown with confidence.
When we’ve put so much emotional investment, effort, or time into where we are now, we may wonder if it’s even worth trying to begin again. To reinvent ourselves. To reshape our lives. To start fresh when it seems so much of life has already passed; maybe it’s too late.
When we have a dream sprouting in our hearts but are afraid to take a risk, we are paralyzed by fear and a lack of self-confidence.
When we doubt whether true growth and unlimited possibilities can be part of our story, we stand aimlessly at the crossroads of a new season of life.
These are the times when we need to recognize that facing change and new seasons aren’t times of starting over, per se, but instead, are seasons of new beginnings.
The solution to finding the courage to take a leap of faith to reinvent ourselves and our lives is to recognize there is a huge difference between the two.
Beginning again doesn’t mean starting over from scratch without foundation, knowledge, or resources. We all possess memories and experiences to lean on. We have gained wisdom and learned lessons, which have brought us to where we are today. We have developed skills and relationships, endured failures and disappointments, and enjoyed triumphs and successes. We have a story and have lived many chapters of life. We all have a past, yet we aren’t the same people we were in the past, so we aren’t starting in the same place we’ve ever started before.
Beginning anew in the place God has us right now. A place He has held our hands and walked us to. A place He has prepared for us and prepared us for throughout our journeys.
Nobody likes change, but if there is one thing for certain, it’s that change is constant. Transitions in age, life, family, or career are significant changes that occur in every individual’s life. Thus, it is important to learn how to handle change well.
These ten tips will inspire and equip you to successfully deal with change and transitions in healthy ways and help you enjoy the life God has given you in this season as you prepare your heart and mind for life’s next amazing chapter.
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1. Accept the change that has occurred and embrace it instead of resisting it.
Acceptance of change can, at times, feel unreasonable, but it is crucial for getting through hard situations. Some people see acceptance as a weakness, especially if we’re being forced to accept something we didn’t want to happen or endure a circumstance that is unfair and unwarranted.
However, it's better to look at that change as coming to terms with how things are and believing God has prepared us for this season. It’s perfectly normal and okay to feel sad about what we’re having to leave behind but also feel excited about what is yet to come.
Resisting change, or refusing to accept it, only prolongs the process of healing, growth, and the rebuilding and reshaping of your life.
2. Accept where you are, but set realistic goals for where you want to be.
Be a visionary - and if life isn’t how you want it to be, set goals that align with your vision.
A builder wouldn’t attempt to construct a building without having a blueprint of all the actions needed to make it happen. In the same way, having a life plan blueprint of sorts to help us navigate hard seasons, build the life we want to have, reinvent ourselves, and achieve the dreams in our hearts puts us on a solid foundation for reaching those goals.
We can’t break free from the grip of the past, move forward with enthusiasm towards our new beginnings, and work towards achieving our desires if we don’t have a plan for how we want to get there.
If we fail to plan, then we plan to fail.
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3. Know what you can and cannot control.
When a big change happens in our lives, it’s important to recognize how much control we have over the situation and the factors within our ability to control it. Understanding our role and what is within our power to change helps us keep things in perspective. If we continually try to control or change things we have no ability to control or change, peace of mind will never be present, and our negative thoughts and emotions, stress, and anxiety will run our lives as we try to win an unwinnable battle.
If certain circumstances are out of our control to change, we can surrender them to God and trust He sees us, hears our prayers, and is working on our behalf. Just like the serenity prayer, we can pray, “God, help me have the ability to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
4. Have a strategy in place for dealing with stress and anxiety.
Any type of change or season of transition, at any stage of life and in any circumstance, will almost always come with uncertainties, which can lead to anxiety, stress, and depression. These issues can cause health concerns like changes in appetite, sadness, irritability, muscle pain, insomnia, headaches, and so much more.
There will be times when you find things difficult to deal with. When life feels out of control, thoughts, worries, and powerful emotions run rampant. Learning to recognize when we are feeling overwhelmed and stressed is crucial, and having a strategy in place to help us avoid letting stress derail our physical and mental health is as well.
Whatever works for you - slow breathing exercises, prayer, taking a walk, soaking in a bubble bath, or calling up a friend to vent - commit to doing those things … for your own well-being.
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5. Maintain a patient and positive attitude during seasons of change.
With the right attitude about change and the willingness to adapt, we can learn new skills, gain new perspectives, and broaden our horizons.
Having a patient and positive attitude can also help us develop a greater sense of self-awareness and purpose and open doors for good things we would have never been able to experience otherwise.
Maintaining optimism and faith that God is at work helps us build up our resilience, which is the ability to bounce back from setbacks or difficult situations. By developing resilience, we can better cope with challenges and feel more equipped to handle future challenges when they arise.
6. Look for opportunities for personal growth and development.
Becoming aware of how we typically manage change can teach us a lot about ourselves.
It can help us unearth traits we didn’t realize we were struggling with, which opens the door for us to grow and develop.
For example, a common reason people resist change is due to fear, which often prevents us from making positive changes or accepting and dealing with the new things we are faced with.
Learning to avoid letting fears morph in our minds, always imagining worst-case scenarios that are probably unlikely to happen, eventually leads to more self-confidence and a greater sense of empowerment, which gives us the courage to do things we may not have thought we could do before.
In any area of life, change can usher in learning and growth if we look within and keep an optimistic, open mind.
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7. Incorporate prayer, scripture, and reflection into your daily habits.
This tip might seem like a no-brainer for believers in Christ, but it’s all too easy to be facing a scary season of change and transition and forget to invite God into our journey. Struggling with anger for why He is allowing hardships, possibly wondering not only if He sees what we’re doing through but if He even cares. These are thoughts that cause our faith to waiver.
We can set personal goals for making positive changes in our lives and within ourselves but inadvertently neglect to spend time with Christ. Seeking guidance for peace, wisdom, inspiration, and clarity about our next steps is one of the best things we can do for ourselves during uncertain times.
Draw inspiration and encouragement from God’s Word by incorporating Bible reading into your daily routine, and remember His Word is a lamp unto our feet (Psalm 119:105).
8. Seek Support and Accountability.
It can be hard to admit when we’re struggling and even harder to ask for help.
Friends and loved ones typically genuinely want to help when they see people they love having a hard time. But they can’t do so until we ask for it and embrace their help with open arms.
We often want people to think we’re strong and have it all together, even if we’re falling apart inside because inviting others into our pain and being open in sharing our challenges during transition seasons can feel scary and vulnerable.
Yet, people don’t know if or how to try to help and support us unless we tell them what we need. Just as you would gladly support and hold accountable someone you love who opened the door for you to do so, let others do the same for you and accept it as a gift.
Change is hard, but it’s so much easier when we know we aren’t facing it alone.
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9. Practice Gratitude.
Practicing gratitude can be the last thing we feel like doing when we are experiencing challenging times of change. Times when our hearts are broken, when the future seems uncertain, or when we’re going through circumstances or seasons we aren’t sure quite how to manage.
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can make all the difference in the world.
Whether you just received a difficult diagnosis, became a single parent, are facing an empty nest, or are embarking on a new career, taking time to reflect on your blessings during any season of transition can reset your mind entirely.
When we’re focused on what God is doing in our life, instead of what He isn’t doing or how we feel let down by Him in some way, it becomes much harder to stay consumed with the negative. Blessings abound in every season, even those of great change and discomfort. All we have to do is live with open eyes to see them and practice thankfulness for each one, big or small.
A positive mind leads to a positive life.
10. Give yourself time and grace.
As already stated, but worth reiterating, change is hard. Nobody really likes it, and sometimes it hurts, yet it’s inevitable.
Healing, overcoming, growth, and transformation don’t happen overnight. However, they can and will happen in time if we are patient with ourselves and patient with our God as He works behind the scenes, divinely putting our lives into place just as He planned.
Self-love and self-care are important in every stage of life, but especially during seasons of great change. Time and grace fall into the crucial category of caring for YOU.
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Originally published Monday, 16 December 2024.