Abner, the son of Ner, was the commander-in-chief of Saul’s army during his reign as king of Israel. As Saul’s trusted general, Abner was a respected military commander and valued advisor to the king, holding one of the highest positions of power in the nation. He played a pivotal role in the military career of David. Although he became a powerful adversary to David in his flight from King Saul, David mourned for Abner when he died, granting his former commander full honors.
How Was Abner Related to King Saul?
In the Old Testament, the author of 1 Samuel identifies Abner, the son of Ner, as the commander of Saul’s army (1 Samuel 14:50). Abner was also Saul’s first cousin. Kish, the father of Saul, was the brother of Ner, Abner’s father (1 Chronicles 9:33). Both men were from the tribe of Benjamin.
Of course, promoting family members to positions of power was not unusual. Even today, political figures often give friends and family members trusted roles in their rise to power.
Not surprisingly, when Saul was anointed king by the prophet Samuel, many in his family also rose to prominence. Not the least was his cousin Abner, who became the commander of Saul’s army.
When anointed by Samuel, Saul was first described as a “mighty man of valor” and “handsome man,” who was taller than any of the people (1 Samuel 9:1). As Saul’s relative, Abner may have had a similar stature, making him a formidable warrior and respected leader.
In time, one of those soldiers would be David.
Even before David stepped forward to slay the Philistine giant Goliath, the young musician had been summoned to play music for the king, tormented by an evil spirit. The Bible tells us that King Saul was refreshed and made well every time David played his harp, and the evil spirit would depart him (1 Samuel 16:12-23).
From then on, “Saul loved him (David) greatly, and he became his armor bearer” (1 Samuel 16:21). Here, David would have had many interactions with Abner.
Shortly after David killed Goliath, Saul asked Abner about David’s family. When Abner admitted that he did not know where David had come from, Saul’s trusted commander was sent to find and bring David before the king (1 Samuel 17:55-58).
From that moment, “David went out wherever Saul sent him, and prospered; and Saul set him over the men of war. And it was pleasing in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants” (1 Samuel 18:5).
As David became more successful and famous, his role in the army certainly fell under Abner’s command. We do not know how much influence Abner had in David’s life. However, it is not out of the question that Abner mentored this emerging leader.
Sadly, as David’s popularity increased and the people of Israel began to praise David’s triumphs above the king’s triumphs, Saul grew angry and suspicious of the young folk hero.
Before long, this neurotic king viewed David’s prosperity as a threat. Saul turned on David, making his once-adopted son a fugitive and exile.
What Was Abner’s Part in David Fighting for His Kingdom?
During David’s flight, Abner remained loyal to King Saul, often leading the chase to apprehend David. God, however, was with David in flight and delivered him from the hand of Saul, Abner, and the army on numerous occasions.
On one such occasion, David had chosen to spare Saul, who he’d found unguarded in the caves of Engedi (1 Samuel 24). Sometime later, David and two of his mighty men infiltrated the camp of Israel and found Saul asleep, with Abner and the rest of his guard sleeping at his side. Rather than kill Saul, David again chose to spare the king’s life, believing God would certainly punish the one who struck His anointed king.
The next morning, David chastised Abner from a distance for failing to protect his king properly (1 Samuel 26:14-16).
David never saw Saul again. Not long after, Saul and his sons were killed in battle with the Philistines (1 Samuel 31). Abner, however, survived, becoming the de facto leader of the nation until he established Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, as the next king over Israel (2 Samuel 2:8-11).
Unfortunately, as David had already been named king by the tribe of Judah (2 Samuel 2:1-7), Abner’s coronation of Ish-bosheth only served to divide the nation and delay David’s rightful ascension to the throne, sparking a civil war in the process (2 Samuel 2:12-32).
Shortly after Abner had established Ish-bosheth as king in his father’s place, a title God had already bestowed upon David, the commander of Saul’s army traveled to Gibeon to meet with Joab, David’s nephew and the commander of David’s army. There, the two leaders engaged in a contest of champions to see whose side won. Each side brought 12 of its finest warriors, but all 24 died, bringing no resolution (2 Samuel 2:12-17).
Why Did Joab Kill Abner?
As Abner left the contest, Asahel, the swift-footed younger brother of Joab, pursued the much older general. Abner warned the ambitious Asahel to turn back, but he refused. As Asahel closed the gap, the more experienced Abner impaled Asahel with the butt end of his spear, killing him on the spot (2 Samuel 2:18-23).
Abner’s actions began a civil war with Abner, the house of Saul, and the armies of Israel fighting David, his mighty men, and the tribe of Judah.
As the war escalated, the Bible tells us that “Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul” (2 Samuel 3:6). What exactly this means has been debated. However, we read that Abner claimed Rizpah, a concubine of King Saul, for himself (2 Samuel 3:7). Some would have viewed this as a move to seize Saul’s power. While his motives may be unclear, Ish-bosheth saw Abern’s actions as an attempt to claim the throne and accused Abner of sedition (2 Samuel 3:7).
In any case, Ish-bosheth’s accusation angered Abner, who was outraged by the king’s ingratitude and lack of appreciation for putting him on the throne.
Abner committed to handing the kingdom over to David. Once again, this could have been a political move, gaining favor from those he believed would win. However, declaring his support convinced the remaining tribes of Israel to support David over Ish-bosheth.
Shortly after Abner had met with David under a banner of peace, Joab summoned the elderly commander back to Hebron, unbeknownst to David. He then murdered Abner to avenge Asahel (2 Samuel 3:26-30).
What Does David Mourning Abner Teach Us about Loving Our Enemies?
When David learned that Abner had been killed in cold blood, especially after he had just made peace with his former mentor, his anger burned against Joab. Publicly reprimanding Joab for his violent act of retribution, David encouraged the nation to lament for Abner and give him a proper burial and full honors.
David would himself mourn for Abner and fast in the wake of his death, saying, “Do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel?” (2 Samuel 3:38)
David’s lament provides a lesson about loving our enemies.
For one thing, David never regarded Saul or Abner as enemies. Yes, they delayed his ascension to the throne, slandered him, and hunted him without cause. They forced him to flee his home, abandoning palace comforts for the cold life as a fugitive on the run. However, David never treated the Lord’s anointed king as his enemy or as someone he had any right to harm.
Vengeance and retribution belong to the Lord and Him alone. God had anointed Saul, and God alone had the only right to remove him if and when He saw fit. Not David. Unlike Joab, David’s heart was never set on retribution but on restoration.
The throne of Israel was also not David’s to claim. All thrones, like all crowns, belonged to the Lord. They are given as He wills and could be taken just as easily. That was a lesson he would remember even after he had become king.
Lastly, God’s timing was not David’s. It would be years before David sat on the throne of Israel, something he had been anointed to do as a young man. Whether Saul, Ish-bosheth, or Abner, whoever held power over Israel was there for a reason. All David could do was trust God’s timing and hold to the promises of God when things didn’t seem to make sense, or his path seemed unclear.
David could mourn for someone most of us consider an enemy. Why? Because David stopped seeing Saul and Abner as obstacles to “his” success. Instead, he saw them as instruments in God’s sovereign plan for his life—a plan including enemies, obstacles, and valleys. That plan, if God was writing it, was ultimately good. David could confidently write in God alone:
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” (Psalms 23:4-5)
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Stanislav Hubkin
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