We often refer to David as a man after God’s own heart, but some of his actions seem questionable. We know that he slept with Bathsheba when she was already married and killed her husband when she got pregnant. That’s strike one against David. But what about the fact that he had multiple wives? Including one named Haggith?
Throughout the Bible, we do witness polyamorous relationships. And the Bible doesn’t speak about it as negatively as it talks about premarital relationships or homosexual ones. So does the Bible condone polyamory? Can what we know about Haggith help answer these questions? Let’s dive in.
Unfortunately for Haggith, the Bible doesn’t tell us much about her, apart from the fact that she was the wife of king David. That may leave our reader wondering how on earth I can even address the subject of polygamous relationships. We will get there, I promise.
So let’s uncover what we can about her.
Her name. Her name means “festive” or “dancer.” One of David’s other wives, Michal, was not a fan of the fact that he danced for the Lord in public, wearing his underwear in public (2 Samuel 6:14). We can imagine that WASN’T the reason David married Haggith. Perhaps her name lent its way to a profession or disposition of Haggith. Alas, we can never truly know.
Her beauty. We know Haggith was likely beautiful because her son is mentioned as being attractive. Her son, Adonijah, we’ll cover in a moment. King David essentially had his pick of the litter as king of Israel. If he wanted to marry someone, he did. We see this attitude again with king David’s son, Solomon, who had 1,000 women (wives and concubines included).
Her troublesome son. We will touch on Adonijah in the next section, but there is something you should know about him—and all the offspring of David: they all wanted to be king. And unfortunately, because David chose to marry several women, that meant a lot of competition between the siblings.
David’s children did all kinds of terrible things to each other, to David, and to the kingdom of Israel.
Although this was no personal fault of Haggith, we don’t see her stepping in anywhere in Scripture, telling Adonijah to trust his father about who should be king. We see Bathsheba interceding to ensure Solomon became king as David had promised, but nothing about Haggith and the other wives.
We can imagine that the next heir determined a lot for these women. If their biological children ruled Israel, that could secure them for life.
With that in mind, let’s talk about Adonijah.
To better understand Haggith, since she only has four verses that mention her name, we have to understand her son.
Adonijah was the fourth son of the king of David. Therefore, he was not the first contender for the throne. Usually, kings would give the throne to the firstborn unless the king decided differently.
Adonijah doesn’t care and jumps the gun (1 Kings 1:5). He decides to take over the throne and even gathers 50 chariots to intimidate his way into the position.
He even gets some important allies. Most notably, he gets help from Joab (one of David’s military commanders) and Abiathar (the high priest at the time).
Of course, not everyone in David’s household likes the idea of Adonijah abdicating the throne. They approach a very old King David to let him know this has occurred. As mentioned before, Bathsheba reminds David that he promised Solomon the throne. David remembers his promise and makes Solomon king.
Adonijah gets word of this and freaks out. He begs for his life.
Later, Adonijah tries to strike a deal with Solomon. Adonijah asks Solomon for a favor, a woman he can have as his wife. A woman named Abishag.
Abishag had kept David warm in his old age—sleeping in David’s bed to give his body heat because he was so old blankets didn’t warm him. She didn’t sleep with him, but the job made her something between being David’s nurse and his concubine.
Solomon finds Adonijah’s request disrespectful. Scripture doesn’t explain why Solomon disliked the request, but he seems to have seen it as a threat to his power. He may have remembered how their late brother Absalom tried to overthrow David and slept with David’s concubines (2 Samuel 16:22). Maybe he just found the idea Absalom would make such a request disrespectful, which meant he didn’t respect Solomon as king.
Solomon then vows to kill Adonijah and sends a man named Benaiah out to carry out the execution.
This may seem like an awkward way to end the story. But we must remember that Solomon had to eliminate anyone who tried to take his throne.
All of this could have been prevented, of course, if David chose to marry one woman
While we may not know much about Haggith as a person, the story of her son, and how all of David’s wives and children related to each other teach us how polygamy can create problems.
We have to keep in mind that David had some pretty messed-up children. One son raped his half-sister (2 Samuel 13). Another tried to abdicate David’s throne while he ruled on it (2 Samuel 18). And the one who gained the throne was known as a wise man, but Solomon did some messed-up things (his wives and his allowing idolatry into Israel).
Haggith, unfortunately, got to lay witness to all of this, the pain and dysfunction that came with David having so many wives. So let’s see what Scripture has to say about polygamy.
Polygamy always ends in disaster. We can’t find a single instance in the Bible where polygamy is depicted as a viable marriage solution. We see this as early as the patriarchs. Whenever someone sleeps with more than one person, and that person gives birth to children, disaster ensues. We see fighting between Ishmael and Isaac. Between the children that Jacob had with Leah, Rachel, and his concubines. The list goes on.
Polygamy in the Bible leads to jealousy, in-fighting (and, in the case of David’s family, even death).
Polygamy goes against God’s marriage model. God has made the marriage model clear since Genesis 2. One man, one woman. In fact, in one part of the Old Testament law given to Moses where God indicates a king may reign over Israel one day, the law explicitly says the king should not have many wives (Deuteronomy 17:17). So, David had no excuse for his many wives.
“So why did he allow David’s polygamy to happen?” we may ask.
In the case of David, because he was king, he figured he could do what he wanted to. Plenty of other kings in other kingdoms had multiple wives. He probably married several women for power reasons.
Just because Israel reflected the cultures that surrounded them at the time didn’t mean that God condoned those practices. In fact, God called Israel to be set apart, to look different.
Only because Israel begged for a king did God allow them to have one. But not without God warning about what would happen when kings ruled over them. David’s family is an example of the disasters to come. People slew people to abdicate thrones, polyamory galore, idol worship, and much more.
It can seem like quite a downer to learn about Haggith and her family. As far as we know, Haggith had no say in the marriage. We can imagine it broke her heart when her son died at Solomon’s hands.
Still, we can see some takeaways from her.
First, God doesn’t want us to look like our culture. He wants us to be better. As Christians, God has called us to be set apart. Even if polyamory trends (and there are indications it already is), we shouldn’t look like those around us. He has called us to be salt and light.
Second, jumping the gun is never a good idea. Adonijah probably knew he didn’t have a living prayer to become Israel’s next king. Still, that didn’t stop him from trying to control the situation. Had he allowed Solomon to take over the throne, Solomon would’ve spared his life.
In the same way, whenever we try to control our lives, disaster strikes. We should practice regular surrender to God. His way is always best.
Third, God sees the unmentioned women (both the ones in the Bible and the ones in our lives). It probably was not Haggith’s dream to be one of several wives. But when I think of her, I think of Hagar, who also had no choice in becoming Abraham’s concubine. Despite Haggar’s pain, she calls God “El Roi.” The God who sees me.
God saw Haggith. Although the Bible doesn’t give us a glimpse of how he moved in her life, we know that he saw her. He cried with her. He comforted her.
Many of us can feel unseen. We can feel as though people have chosen horrible fates for us, fates outside of our control. In the midst of that, God continues to see us, love us, and bring us out of the valley.
Photo Credit: Getty Images/Valerii Evlakhov
Hope Bolinger is an acquisitions editor at End Game Press, book editor for hire, and the author of almost 30 books. More than 1500 of her works have been featured in various publications. Check out her books at hopebolinger.com for clean books in most genres, great for adults and kids. Check out her editing profile at Reedsy.com to find out about hiring her for your next book project.
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