Fighting is inevitable in the church. When we mix different personalities, our fallen natures come into play. We faction into hierarchies, and we don’t love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Even in the early church, infighting broke out. This seems to have occurred in Philippi's church when Paul writes about two members named Syntyche and Euodia.
Unfortunately, the Bible doesn’t tell us much about them other than that they seemed to have a disagreement. However, the apostle Paul’s response may shed some light on how we should handle conflict within our churches.
Syntyche’s name means “common fate” or “fortunate.” She lived in the land of Philippi. This was a strategic trade location along the Roman road.
It appeared to be a city full of peasant farmers who worshipped many foreign gods, much like the mission field of the early church. The early church first preached to the Jewish people. But when the Israelites rejected their message, they moved on to the Gentile nations.
Syntyche’s name only appears in one verse in Philippians 4:2. This is the same chapter where Paul calls for steadfastness (in the face of persecution) and unity. If the church splits apart, the lambs will be scattered.
Before we get into the conflict portion, we should note that Paul mentions something else about Syntyche. He mentions that she’s “contended by his side” along with Euodia and Clement.
You may recognize Clement’s name as one of the most famous early church fathers.
Paul doesn’t specify what “contend with” means. Women had multiple roles in the early church. This could vary from teaching, hosting, and fundraising for the other Christians. So, we don’t know exactly what Syntyche did. Unfortunately, since she didn’t appear to be martyred by any record (but could very well have been), we don’t have much extra-biblical text on her.
But we know that she contended with Paul when many others abandoned him.
What else do we know?
We know that she had a big enough fight with Euodia and that news reached Paul’s ears. And he begs for them to reconcile. He uses the word “be of the same mind in the Lord.” In other words, remember your mission, your calling. You may differ on the non-essential things, but you need to remember why you were called in the first place.
Euodia is another prominent member of the church in Philippi. Unfortunately, we don’t know what role she had played either.
We have to believe that if Paul was calling out Euodia and Syntyche, they had a large enough role to play that people had started to notice their conflict. For the sake of being a good example, Paul praises them for being of one mind.
Perhaps they were both deacons, like Phoebe. Perhaps they taught believers correct apologetics, like Priscilla.
We, unfortunately, just don’t know.
All we know was the conflict had been bad enough that they needed outside help to reconcile it.
Conflict with believers happens, and unfortunately, it happens a lot. When we live in a sinful world, we are prone to being tempted and falling back into bad habits.
Believers can get into conflict for a variety of reasons: misunderstandings, power trips, manipulation, control, fear, and the list goes on.
What can we learn about handling conflict with another believer based on the passage in Philippians 4 and other passages in the Bible?
First: Remember your calling
Paul reminds Euodia and Syntyche that they may differ on some minor things but are aligned in the same big thing: Jesus Christ. God has called us all to be one body with many parts. Parts may not understand each other, but they know they are part of the same body and must work together.
Second: Go individually
Regarding church discipline passages, the Bible insists that we go to people one-on-one instead of spreading gossip about them behind their backs. We need to go to them in gentleness and humility, assuming goodwill on their part. If they refuse to meet or listen, we move on to the next steps.
Third: Bring a mediator
Depending on the denomination, this is often where a pastor or mentor is brought in. Encourage the other person to bring a mediator, too, if they feel the mediator brought is too biased in your favor. It never hurts to start any meeting with prayer that each side can hear one another out. Rinse and repeat, and bring it up the chain of command if needed.
Fourth: When necessary, part ways or split for some time
In the church discipline passage, if someone sins against the church and refuses to repent, they are called to be excused from the community for some time. But when it comes to individual conflicts, what may need to be put in place is boundaries. We want to save the relationship, but we know it cannot keep going at its pace. Space and prayerful reflection should hopefully bring us back to one another in peace.
Conflict is messy, and Paul understood this when he spoke with Syntyche. He knew that reminding her of her mission would help resolve her issues with Euodia.
Although we don’t have much to go off of, we must remember that Syntyche was not just known for her conflict. We unfortunately focus too much on that and forget that she also contended with Paul. She fought for the faith. We like to air out the dirty laundry of those in the Bible while forgetting that we have plenty.
With that said, here are three life lessons we can learn from Syntyche.
Conflict does happen in the church.
As church people, I’m sure we’d all like to believe we get along. In fact, in some church circles, conflict is squashed unhealthily to give the appearance that people attend a healthy church. But in reality, we misread actions. We assume bad will on the part of others. Conflict will happen. We live in a diverse world that doesn’t always understand one another.
Conflict never has an easy solution.
We don’t know what set Syntyche or Euodia against each other. We have to imagine it would be pretty significant if Paul had to step in. After all, early believers were absolutely on fire for Christ. So, we must believe it was a wound that must have deeply cut each party member. Paul never says, “Syntyche, just say sorry to Euodia and move on,” as, unfortunately, many church members are quick to say. However, he reminds her to remember Christ and her mission.
Conflict should strive for a solution.
We should acknowledge our hurt and, at times, the need for boundaries. An unrepentant person is very hard to mend a relationship with. With that said, if both people are of the mind of Christ, we should strive to reconcile with one another. Notice that we need both parties to make that happen. We can forgive and still not be reconciled if someone is unrepentant. Reconciliation is a two-way system, and both Syntyche and Euodia had to work together to resolve their conflict.
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Hope Bolinger is an acquisitions editor at End Game Press, book editor for hire, and the author of almost 30 books. More than 1500 of her works have been featured in various publications. Check out her books at hopebolinger.com for clean books in most genres, great for adults and kids. Check out her editing profile at Reedsy.com to find out about hiring her for your next book project.
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