For those spending Christmas alone, this can be an overwhelming time. The day itself is problematic, not to mention Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. You might feel left out when others are celebrating together or overwhelmed by invitations from friends and family.
Maybe this is the first time you are alone during the holidays after your kids have left home, your spouse passed away, or you separated from your spouse.
Perhaps you are the child who left home and cannot get back for Christmas or an unmarried person whose friends are all spending Christmas with their families.
If the subject of this festive season leaves you feeling sad or overwhelmed, here are seven things to do that will remind you of why Christians celebrate.
This might seem like a no-brainer, but for a lot of people, attending church on December 24 is a tough step. Church feels like a goldfish bowl in which everyone sees you enter alone. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t.
It is foolish to imagine that everyone is judging you just because they have observed an obvious fact. Any Christian worth the title is going to feel empathy and maybe even come over to see how you are.
Let them. Empathy is a gift we are apt to reject too often, but one which Christ exercised often and which he expects us to offer and receive.
This is the message we are most likely to hear on Christmas Eve: that God saw the state we were in collectively and as individuals, so he came down to do something about it.
If you really cannot bear to be noticed, visit a big church in a different town and blend in with the congregation. Once you have found your place, sit back and listen to the Nativity story and hear what the pastor has to say.
A church that pursues the deeper meaning of Scripture will offer a fresh and lively perspective while not veering from the truth and still making it accessible for non-believers. After all, if they are going to visit church at all, this is the most popular time.
While you are listening, let the Word really sink in. Take this time to remember why you came to church, what you believe, and why.
Absorb the powerful reality of Christmas which is that we celebrate a God who came down as a baby so we would never be separated from God. Believers will never have to be alone.
Perhaps it is not a bad thing for someone to observe the solitary person at church, not if that person is also alone this Christmas. One thing two lonely individuals know is that this is a challenging season when you have no one to celebrate with, but you want there to be.
So, by all means — observe, consider, and approach. The worst thing that will happen is you find out more about a fellow parishioner.
The best thing that will happen is you meet a new friend and someone to share dinner with on December 25. Many friendships have started over a meal.
While being alone does not make everyone feel lonely, this is the time to find out for sure if that widow, bachelor, or divorcee is going to be okay on December 25.
Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” When we are by ourselves a lot, we also listen to our own voice too much, and our perspective becomes truth, regardless of how factual it is. “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
We easily stray when there is no one to gently guide us back to Christ and no one to think of more highly than ourselves (Romans 12:3).
Who knows? This could be the beginning of a new tradition: hanging out with one (or more) individuals who would otherwise be alone for every holiday.
Consider joining other volunteers at a local church or soup kitchen on Christmas day. There are many such events going on in major cities and even some small towns.
These meals are organized so as to provide company as well as food for the homeless and also those who are alone at Christmas.
You might discover a co-worker there or recognize someone you pass on the street as he pushes a shopping cart filled with his possessions.
One thing is for sure — everyone needs Jesus. What better way to share him than by simply sharing yourself?
The people most touched by this sort of gift are the ones who need it, but if you go looking for ways to serve at your local soup kitchen, he is likely to remind you that you need him just as much as those who live on the street.
Giving up your day for the good of others is a way of serving the Lord, too. “And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded” (Matthew 10:42).
You really can honor your Lord and Savior by honoring those who are less fortunate than yourself. Be prepared, also, to be served in a different way.
The homeless and the unemployed still have something to offer: a song, a story, or the willingness to come in off the street and trust you. Honor this gift by humbly accepting it.
How about hosting a party at your house? Invite your neighbors. Invite co-workers. By all means, take care of whom you invite — don’t post your invitation on social for anyone to accept.
Still, there are undoubtedly individuals whom you wouldn’t normally invite to dinner. The grumpy next-door neighbor; that guy in the mailroom who never says Hi because he is super shy; a lady you talk to at the bus stop every morning; the couple across the street who could never dream of returning your invitation because they are too poor.
Jesus instructed, “When you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just” (Luke 14:13-14).
This is not about starting a cycle of one-upmanship. Give because you can. Don’t be too stubborn to accept the offer of a casserole or a salad to help feed the crew that is coming, but don’t demand it either.
There is no reason to be embarrassed if you’re only offering cookies and coffee, either. Give what you can. Many people would struggle to accept a lavish gift anyway, making it less of a gift and more of a burden. Offer fellowship that is comfortable and relatively easy to accept.
Do you enjoy painting? Creative writing? Baking? Do whatever you enjoy to the glory of God. Enjoy your hobby as a way to worship.
Many businesses close over the holidays for at least a day, perhaps longer. If you are fortunate enough to have this time to relax, use it to start or even complete a project aimed towards worship.
The result is not your greatest concern. You could be a novice, or it might be that your passion is not your gifting. That’s okay — use this time to express your gratitude and love for Christ in a way that makes your heart sing.
Thomas Terry and Ryan Lister, talking about creativity, assure us that “Christ does not stand against your creativity, but he does stand over it. Your creativity was and will always be an instrument of worship.”
Importantly, we must allow God to use our creativity to his ends as a way of restoring us. Terry and Lister liken it to putting together broken pieces: “Where we’ve broken our creativity into millions of little idols, God pulls it all back together for those who love him.”
This is one way to express the indelible and beautiful effect of God’s grace over our lives: in our writing, painting, carving, etc. The spaces where Christ’s transformative effect is seen holding it all together is part of our testimony.
This testimony is a reminder of where you were before Christ redeemed you, but the impact could also reach further. There is a particular beauty in a shattered life restored by our loving Savior, shared with others.
Some would say this is the worst time to go away on holiday: airports are teeming with travelers, streets are full of holidaymakers, and many stores are closed for at least one day, maybe a whole week. Why travel now, unless to visit family?
That’s an idea unless there is no one to visit and your long-distance friends are occupied. Maybe you just want to save your kids the stress of choosing which parent to spend Christmas with, so going away removes a little bit of their stress.
But you don’t have to fly or board a cruise. Take yourself off to a locale that has everything you need, even if that’s only a quiet cabin a few hours away. “Holidays” do not have to involve long flights, train travel, or buses.
Find a reasonable motel or hotel, even one with a kitchenette, situated in an area you find peaceful, inspirational, or good for outdoor activities. Perhaps there is a restaurant close by serving dinner on the twenty-fifth.
Maybe you would like to spend Christmas day hiking or snowshoeing? Go for a walk and view decorations around the town.
Make a snow angel or build a snowman, but remember: this solitary time is an opportunity to allow God to speak to you without distractions. Make this a holiday where he is the star attraction. “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8).
The Western world thinks of Christmas as a stand-alone holiday, not as the beginning of a different kind of advent. Christians, however, remember that Christ’s birth led to his death.
Consider Christmas as day one of a long journey leading to the agony of Christ’s crucifixion and the victory of his resurrection.
When you feel lonely and unwanted, remember that God wanted you so much that he sent his Son to defeat death for you with his own flesh and blood. If you’re not sure how to pray, here are some ideas.
Begin with the whole Christmas story. Pray your way through it. Take a week or just a single day to contemplate the account represented in Luke. Alternatively, explore a book of the Bible in depth for the coming three months.
Dig deep into the words and the context, pray for the Lord to open your eyes to what he wants you to understand about Himself, about Jesus, and about your relationship with Him.
If not a whole book, how about a biblical theme? You could explore “birth” in the Bible, starting with Jesus’ birth, of course. Move back through time to stories about Jacob and Esau, Moses, and Samson.
Consider why these stories, with their flawed characters, are in the Bible. Then think beyond “birth” to “rebirth:” how we are born again and the hope this gives us.
Invite others to join you along the way. We are part of an eternal family, even if we feel sometimes as though we will always be alone.
Whatever you decide to do over the Christmas season, you matter. Singles are no less important to God than married couples or parents still raising children. Your life is important to him — lean into that reality this day and every other day of the year.
For further reading:
What Should We Do When We Are Feeling Alone?
Should Christians Really Celebrate Christmas?
5 Creative Ways to Prepare Your Heart for Christmas
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Drazen Zigic