Can You Experience God’s Love Despite a Broken Relationship with Your Dad?

Louie Giglio

Each of us has a picture of what a father is like that, for better or worse, is primarily based on our relationship with our earthly dads. Although God is loving and inviting and trustworthy and dependable, it’s as if something— or someone— constructed a barrier that makes it difficult to take in this amazing aspect of God’s character. Our view is being blocked by a flawed understanding of what a father is.

That’s the challenge inherent with declaring God is a Father. All of our earthly fathers have fallen short, some more than others. Some fathers proved themselves true—time and time again. But others proved false— and this also happened time and time again. Let’s face it. There’s a fatherhood crisis in our world. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, one in four kids live in a home without a dad.8 That’s a quarter of the children in the U.S. waking up each day without any type of father present in their lives. Yet, such a staggering realization shouldn’t come as a surprise.

The Enemy seeks to destroy fatherhood. He wants to break apart our image of what a good father is. He wants to destroy families and wreck the relationships between fathers and their kids. If he can shatter our picture of good earthly fathers, then he might in turn blast our image of our perfect heavenly Father. And if the Enemy can’t completely shatter our image of God, maybe he can mess with it just enough to keep us from living fully free.

Some of you know that although your dad’s not perfect, he’s doing his best. Your dad is or was a really good father, and whether he’s still present in your life, or death has taken him from you, his blessing is a big part of who you’re becoming. There are more than a few dads like this in the world.

This father is a kind, strong, encouraging dad. When it comes to loving his family, this father is the one who constantly does his best. He might still wear Bermuda shorts with dark socks and dress shoes when he goes to the mall, but he’s always telling his kids he loves them. He’s the guy who makes every attempt to be there for his children.

Are you fortunate enough to know a good father? This dad, when you were little, stuck his head inside your bedroom door at night and said, “Hey, I just want you to know I love you. You’re my favorite son!” You smiled as you heard him say those same words to your brother down the hall.

But what if your view of what a father is has been shattered? How do you move forward if your trust in the one who should have been the most trustworthy person in your life (your earthly dad) has been damaged or corrupted or blurred? How can you celebrate the fact that there is a great God in heaven who wants you to know Him as Abba? If God is a father like yours, why would you want anything to do with Him?

Well, here’s the good news— the life-altering news: God is not the reflection of your earthly dad. He is the perfection of your earthly dad. God’s not just a bigger version of your earthly father. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted your dad to be and more.

This is great news for us all! Even if your dad is a really wonderful father, you still don’t want him to be your God, and you don’t want God to be exactly like him. You want a God who is somewhat like him but infinitely better. And that’s what you have.

And if you’ve been trying to overcome the wounds of a terrible earthly dad, and you’re thinking you’ll never be able to relate to God as a father because you don’t even know how, I encourage you to think again. Even if your dad left a wake of pain and confusion and weakened you more than he helped make you strong, you can still imagine what it would have been like if things had been different.

It’s likely you have imagined what life would be like with a loving, engaged, encouraging, interested dad. What if your earthly father did sit patiently on the end of your bed and ask you to tell him all about your day? Haven’t you imagined what his embrace would have felt like? What it would have been like if he put the newspaper down or turned the volume down on the television remote and noticed you? Didn’t you wonder how things would have been different if he had showed up and sobered up and stayed true and defended you? Haven’t you tried to imagine your dad being like this?

The good news is that God is what you’ve imagined all these years. He’s everything you’ve always wanted, and so much more! You can use those longings and desires to find your way to Him, knowing that He’s not an oversized version of your dad, He’s the perfect father you have always dreamed of. 

My encouragement is for you to ease yourself from one image to the next— from the broken image left by an earthly father to the perfect Father who is drawing near. Respect the time this can take, sure. But also let yourself come alive to this glorious truth. God, your Abba, has gone to extraordinary lengths to let you know how much you matter to Him.

Taken from “Seeing God as a Perfect Father" by Louie Giglio. Copyright 2023 by Louie Giglio. Used with permission from Thomas Nelson.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/MangoStar_Studio

Louie Giglio is Pastor of Passion City Church and the Original Visionary of the Passion movement, which exists to call a generation to leverage their lives for the fame of Jesus. Since 1997, Passion Conferences has gathered over one million collegiate-aged young people in events across the U.S. and around the world, all under the banner of leveraging their lives for what matters most—the name and renown of Jesus. Louie is the national-bestselling author of over a dozen books, including Don’t Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table as well as Seeing God as a Perfect Father, Goliath Must Fall, Indescribable: 100 Devotions about God & Science, The Comeback, The Air I Breathe, I Am Not But I Know I Am, and others. Louie and Shelley make their home in Atlanta, Georgia.

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