Loneliness is something most of us have struggled with at least once in our lives. We often think we cannot be lonely if we are around people, but that isn't always true. We can be around tons of people yet still feel alone. Since this is true, can God help us in our loneliness?
Feeling Alone
If you're similar to me, you know how it feels to be lonely and alone. Ever since I was a child, I felt as though I was always alone and no one cared. Sometimes those feelings would come and go; however, as an adult, I have found those feelings to be even stronger now.
As a Christian, I know God is always with me and that I'm never truly alone, yet I still feel lonely at times. Maybe you have found this to be true in your own life as well.
Different circumstances can cause us to feel alone, such as the death of a loved one, the ending of a friendship, or even a hurtful word. We can be surrounded by our family, who say they love us, yet when we are with them, we couldn't feel more alone.
If someone doesn't take the time to understand us and for us to understand them, how can there be a relationship to grow?
As nice as it would be if all families were deeply connected and embodied a Christ-Like relationship with one another, it doesn't happen often. For many of us, we grow up in homes where we feel we don't matter or no one cares about us.
Outside of the family structure, we can also feel alone in many other ways. As children and teens, we often lean on the support of our friends. It is a sad reality when we find out many of our friends are fake or they talk about us behind our backs.
This isn't true for all friendships, yet most of us have come across many fake friends who just ended up hurting us and making us feel more alone.
I used to be someone who always wanted to make friends and get to know people; however, after being hurt by so many of my "friends," it made me want to stay away from people. I reasoned if I stayed away from people, they couldn't hurt me, and I wouldn't be rejected by them.
With family and friends hurting us, it can make us feel even more alone. In fact, it can make us feel as though we are alone and we are without hope. I didn't grow up in the church, and I didn't grow up with a knowledge of the gospel. Maybe you grew up the same way too.
Since I grew up this way, I didn't know Jesus, and I certainly didn't know He wanted to be my friend and loved me. Would this have changed the way I perceived things? Would I have felt less lonely and more known?
Most likely, it would have, yet as it is, I didn't know anything about Christ growing up. I only saw myself as being alone and that no one understood me.
My mom used to call this "teenage angst," but I never really saw it that way, and I still don't. I just saw an impossible situation that demanded me to be happy in a life where I felt alone, unloved, and not understood.
We grow out of being teenagers, but we never lose those feelings we had — the deep pain, sleepless nights, and waking up to swollen eyes from crying. Living in a situation where you feel alone and lonely is not good.
It can cause great harm, and it is not good to be alone. While we all need to be independent, we also need to know that we were not meant to be alone our entire lives.
Furthermore, social media is supposed to be something that brings us together, but if we are honest, it makes us feel more alone. We see people we know and people we don't know living out our dream.
Maybe we see people traveling the world or posting how they got their dream job, and we are just sitting at home feeling like a failure and feeling alone.
You have probably already heard this a million times from trusted individuals, doctors, and therapists, but remember not to compare your life to someone's highlight reel on social media.
People are only going to post the highlights — they are not going to post themselves crying on the floor at two in the morning. In fact, behind all of the glitz and effortless happiness on their social media page, they could be just as lonely as you.
God and Loneliness
I don't claim to have everything figured out because I don't. Even after believing in Jesus and accepting Him as my Savior and Lord, I still have overwhelming times when I feel alone.
While I know Jesus is always with me, and I'm never truly alone, I can't help but feel empty inside, alone, and have the feeling that I will always feel this way.
From reading the Bible, we know God doesn't promise us happiness. The Prosperity Gospel tries to teach us that God wants us to be happy, wealthy, and wise, but this couldn't be further from the truth.
When we begin to follow Jesus, we can be assured we will come across difficult times, yet through these difficult times is when we will have our most growth as Christians.
Loneliness can last a lifetime, but one can still function while dealing with feelings of loneliness. Dive into the Bible and make it a priority to spend time with God daily. Aim to talk with Him in prayer at least 10 minutes a day and extend the time from there.
The more time you spend with God, the more time you will want to spend with Him. It is a beautiful gift to know that we can talk to God whenever we want and to know that He hears what we say. Not one of our prayers is lost as God hears each one.
After making God a priority in your life, try to make new friends or try a new church to meet new people there. Go to a park and talk with someone or go to a coffee shop and have a conversation with someone who looks friendly.
Even just a small amount of social interaction can help our loneliness levels go down if we are talking with someone who is listening and cares about what we are saying.
Try to step out of your comfort zone, and you might find some really great friends to help you as you walk through this difficult time of loneliness.
What Does This Mean?
God is always with us, and He will never leave us (Hebrews 13:6-6). The Lord tells us He will be with us to the very end of the age (Matthew 28:18-20). We can know Jesus is with us and still experience loneliness because we are human beings.
Jesus knows all of the feelings we feel, and He knows all of our pain. No matter the reason for your loneliness, Jesus knows about it, and He knows how you feel. I would like to tell you that it won't always be this painful, but I can't make a promise I can't keep.
God doesn't promise us good times, and He never tells us that we will be freed from pain in this lifetime. Sometimes it might mean waiting until we are with Christ for those feelings of loneliness to go away.
I say this to prepare you, not to discourage you. As someone who experiences loneliness daily, I know the pains associated with it. In your struggles with loneliness, know that you are never alone.
God is always with you, and He isn't going anywhere. No matter where you go or who you are around, God is always with you. Even after death, God is waiting for you, and He is ready to invite you home to be with Him forever.
For further reading:
How Should Christians Deal with Loneliness?
What Does the Bible Say about Loneliness?
Who Is Our Antidote for Fear and Loneliness?
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