In English-speaking cultures, we often say, “I love you.” Parents say it to their children. A husband will tell his wife that he loves her, and she will tell him the same. Even friends will say I love you to each other. While they may all use the word love, the word love has a different meaning within each context. Obviously, you will love your wife differently than how you love your mother. In English, there is only one word for love, and the context defines what type of love it is. In the Greek language, which the New Testament was written in, four words are used for love. Those words are agape, storge, phileo, and eros.
When you read through scripture, only three of these words are explicitly used (in the Greek New Testament or in Greek translations of the Old Testament). As we will see, the fourth word is the root of several words the Bible uses to describe a certain kind of love. However, just because the Bible doesn’t use all four words in this exact form doesn’t mean that the Bible doesn’t talk about all four kinds of love.
We learn a lot about how to practice these kinds of love well through Scripture’s context.
Let’s see what we can learn.
What Defines Each of the Four Greek Words for Love?
Since agape, storge, phileo, and eros all mean love, let’s focus on the different understanding of these words and see how they are used in a scriptural context.
- Agape is a selfless, pure, willful, sacrificial love. It is the type of love that desires the greatest good for someone else. I would add agape love is intentional, meaning you choose or purpose to love someone. When we think about love, we often think of the emotions that we associate with love. Agape love may produce emotions but is not born out of emotion. It is the choice of your will. You love because you want to and choose to. It comes from your will, not your emotions.
- Storge describes familial love shared between parents and children or siblings. Think about the love you feel for your family members (most of them), which will help you understand what storge is.
- Phileo refers to a warm, affectionate type of love. With this type of love, the two parties have a sense of mutual affection or personal connection. You may think of people who are close companions or best friends. With phileo, there is mutual respect and a high value for being in the presence of each other. This type of love is present when there is a genuine community. Think of some of your closest relationships with your friends, and you get the sense of the phileo type of love.
- Eros refers to passionate and intense love, often marked by strong physical attraction and desire for another person. It centers on the physical and emotional aspects of love. This type of love is commonly shared between a husband and wife or anyone in a romantic relationship.
What Are Some Biblical Examples of the Four Greek Words for Love?
As I mentioned before, the New Testament does not include all these exact terms: agape, storge, phileo, and eros. However, you can see examples of the other types of love in the Bible if you look closely.
Agape. Here are two scriptures that give you a clear picture of agape love.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Notice the elements of agape love within these verses. They both focus on God loving you and me. Romans tells us he loved us when we were sinners. Since God is perfect and holy, he chose to love us because God hates sin. In our sin, we have rebelled against God doing all the things he didn’t want us to do. Yet, he chose to love us. Because he loved us, he sought our greatest good, which moved him to action. He sent Jesus to die for us when we were in our sin. This opened the door for us to find forgiveness and eternal life. God chose to do this because he was showing agape love to us.
Storge. As Candice Lacey explains, the Bible doesn’t use storge by itself; it is the root of words like philostorgos for family love and also for astorgous, heartlessness (Romans 1:31 uses both terms).
One clear biblical example of familial love is Abraham's love for Isaac.
“Then God said, ‘Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.’” (Genesis 22:2)
In this verse, God mentions Abraham’s love for Isaac. While some agape love is mixed in there, their relationship as father and son represents the love shared within families.
Phileo. David and his friend Jonathan provide an incredible picture of the type of love shared between two people when there is mutual respect and personal connection.
“After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” (1 Samuel 18:1)
This is an incredible picture of the type of love shared between two people when there is mutual respect and personal connection. This is also a picture of the type of love Jesus requires that we have for each other because Jonathan loved David as himself. If you remember, the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. When doing so, you display the type of love that builds community among people of all different backgrounds. This is the type of love David and Jonathan shared.
Eros. You can find a perfect example of the eros type of love in the life of Jacob and Rachel. Their story is found in Genesis 29. As you read this, notice how the Bible describes Jacob’s love for Rachel.
“Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, ‘I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel . . . So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.’” (Genesis 29:18, 20)
“Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.” (Genesis 29:30)
Not only did Jacob work fourteen years to earn Rachel’s hand in marriage, but the Bible says it felt like no time to him because of his love. This story shows the passion Jacob experienced for Rachel, along with his strong physical attraction and desire for her. These are elements you find in the eros type of love.
How Do the Four Greek Words Apply to Our Relationships Today?
These different types of love will overlap within relationships. For example, in a marital or dating relationship, at various points, you may display agape, storge, phileo, and eros. I know we often limit eros to a marital context. However, passion and desire develop before marriage but should not be fully expressed until marriage. Just think about Jacob and Rachel. Within all other relationships, agape, storge, and phileo can overlap, and that can be healthy with God guiding our love in proper directions.
As you think about loving each other, I want to remind you of what Jesus said.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)
The most important aspect of love is not knowing it but showing it. Our responsibility is not just to know what love is. We must show what love is. Let’s display agape, storge, phileo, and eros in the appropriate context. Let’s not be people who talk about love; let’s be people who live out love. When we love each other the way Jesus wants us to, that will become the greatest testimony to the world of our faith in Jesus.
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18)
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This article is part of our Christian Terms catalog, exploring words and phrases of Christian theology and history. Here are some of our most popular articles covering Christian terms to help your journey of knowledge and faith:
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