You’ve been wronged. We’re not talking about somebody simply cutting you off in traffic. This is something that has an adverse impact on your family. It harms your reputation in the community.
And it leads to sleepless nights. Some of those sleepless nights, you stay awake thinking about enacting revenge upon the person who hurt you.
Is that okay? Is it okay to want revenge? What if you are given the opportunity to actively pursue revenge against a person who hurt you? Does the Bible give you permission to do this?
What does Jesus say about revenge? We will explore the answers to those questions today. But first, we need to develop a common understanding of revenge.
What Is Revenge?
Revenge can be defined as the desire to harm someone in retaliation for perceived wrongs or injuries. It often arises from a sense of injustice or the need to regain a sense of power or control over a situation.
However, it's essential to differentiate between revenge and the pursuit of justice. While both involve addressing wrongs, justice seeks fairness and resolution within legal or ethical boundaries, while revenge is driven by a desire for personal satisfaction through inflicting harm.
Let’s imagine that a young man with a criminal background sees your daughter getting out of her new car. He knows that he can overpower her, and he does just that.
He throws her out of the car, causing some physical harm but, more than anything, evoking terror in her. He then proceeds to steal her new car.
Revenge would be getting in your own car, tracking him down, beating him within an inch of his life, and then taking the car back to your daughter. Justice, however, would call the police and pursue legal action against this young man.
Some have confused these two and assumed that a Christian should never pursue justice — because they’ve confused it with revenge. It’s never wrong to pursue justice — though you are certainly permitted to choose grace instead. Revenge, however, is never healthy. Or is it…?
Is Seeking Revenge Ever Healthy?
There was a study done in 2004 by a group of Swiss researchers. They set up an experiment where a participant was wronged in a game. They were then given the opportunity to punish the other person — enacting revenge upon them.
As they contemplated this thought the researchers found that the reward/pleasure center of their brain was triggered. In other words, it is temporarily rewarding to seek revenge.
However, as they continued the study, they found that rather than being rewarding, pursuing revenge actually perpetuated the harm. Revenge simply creates a cycle of retribution within our brains. We play out the iconic Hatfield and McCoy feud within ourselves.
Ultimately, revenge harms us by consuming our thoughts, emotions, and energy. It perpetuates a cycle of negativity and leads to stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues.
Furthermore, there can be consequences to other relationships. As we become embittered, it places a strain upon other relationships. That’s not to mention that we ourselves might face legal consequences if we attempt to get revenge for ourselves.
But ultimately, revenge is deadly because of what it does to our spirit. It’s deadly because God tells us that it’s not something that is part of His kingdom.
Revenge is dangerous, then, for several reasons:
1. Escalation: Revenge often leads to an escalation of conflicts. Each act of retaliation can provoke a counter-response, intensifying hostilities and making it difficult to find a peaceful resolution.
2. Legal consequences: Seeking revenge can lead to legal trouble. Acts of revenge are typically outside the bounds of the law, potentially resulting in criminal charges.
3. Emotional toll: The emotional toll of revenge can be significant. Holding onto anger and hatred can negatively impact mental health, leading to increased stress and depression.
4. Lack of closure: Revenge rarely provides the closure or satisfaction that seekers hope for. Instead, it often leaves individuals feeling empty and unfulfilled.
5. Opposite of kingdom ethics: The scriptures speak of entrusting God with pursuing justice on our behalf, reminding us to love our enemies, bless our persecutors, and respond to evil with good.
Revenge might give you a fleeting pleasure, but in the long term, it is unhealthy — deadly, even. We should keep from seeking revenge.
How Does Revenge Negatively Shape Us?
The Book of Amos is brilliant. The Israelites have a laundry list of offenses against them. And it seems that they were harboring these against the nations. As the prophet Amos begins his speech, he starts with the far-reaching corner of Israel’s neighbors.
And he lists all the offenses. Certainly, the people would have been cheering. But the wise among them, and those who knew their geography, would have noticed that Amos was closing in on the Israelites.
Amos’ point was that the Israelites themselves were unjust. As these offenses began to pile up, the people seemed to slowly believe that God didn’t actually care about justice. And when this happened, the Israelites took justice in their own hands — a heart of revenge began to shape them.
As Amos said of them, “They sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals — those who trample the head of the poor into the dust of the earth and turn aside the way of the afflicted.”
They were quick to level charges against the nations — being judgmental towards their offenses — and yet simultaneously overlooked their own serious offenses.
We figure if God isn’t going to judge people, then we need to. We set ourselves up as judges over others — and our judgment is often gracious towards ourselves and harsh toward others.
This is what Jesus meant when he told us not to judge others, and when he warned us that “with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
A heart of revenge is a heart that doesn’t believe in the justice of God. When we swallow this lie, it’s only a matter of time before we engage in the sin that we were once abhorred in others.
Our worship becomes empty — because we’ve now grabbed the reigns of our life. If we cannot trust God with our wounds, then we cannot receive healing from His. Seeking revenge goes down sweet but in the end leads to bitterness and pain.
How Can We Stop Seeking Vengeance?
The Bible, particularly Romans 12:19, offers valuable guidance on how to avoid seeking revenge:
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord" (Romans 12:19, ESV).
This verse encourages believers to trust in God's ultimate justice rather than taking matters into their own hands. It’s a call to believe that God will make all things right. He knows best. We should let Him be the one to “repay.”
Here are a few tips for helping us walk away from vengeance:
1. Cultivate forgiveness: Forgiveness is a powerful antidote to revenge. By forgiving those who have wronged us, we release ourselves from the burden of seeking revenge and find emotional healing.
2. Trust in God's justice: Belief in God's justice allows us to relinquish the need for personal vengeance. Knowing that God sees and will ultimately address all injustices can bring peace and hope.
3. Seek resolution: When wronged, strive to seek resolution through peaceful means, such as open communication, mediation, or legal channels, if necessary. Pursuing justice within lawful boundaries aligns with biblical principles.
Remember, justice is different than revenge. Justice can ultimately be restorative and healing for the person involved. We want them to walk in truth. Pursuing justice may very well be pursuing love in the life of the person who has wronged you.
4. Practice empathy: Try to understand the perspective of the person who wronged you. Empathy can lead to greater compassion and a reduced desire for revenge.
Why Does This Matter?
Revenge is indeed a human reaction, but it's a reaction that often leads to destructive consequences. It may appear to be helpful for a moment, but it has an unhealthy end in sight. God’s Word offers guidance on how to avoid the perilous path of revenge.
Romans 12:19 reminds us to trust in God's justice and to leave vengeance to Him. By cultivating forgiveness, seeking resolution, and practicing empathy, we can free ourselves from the grip of revenge and find peace in the assurance that justice will be served.
For further reading:
What Does the Bible Say about Revenge?
Why Is Revenge Only for the Lord to Take?
3 Ways Christians Can Choose Meekness Instead of Resentment
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Alex Aviles
Mike Leake is husband to Nikki and father to Isaiah and Hannah. He is also the lead pastor at Calvary of Neosho, MO. Mike is the author of Torn to Heal and Jesus Is All You Need. His writing home is http://mikeleake.net and you can connect with him on Twitter @mikeleake. Mike has a new writing project at Proverbs4Today.
