Before you send the angry emails, we understand that “choose joy” has been grafted into Christian lingo. Its sentiment appears pure at first. After all, Christians are called to have joy, even during the hardest circumstances (Proverbs 17:22).
But has this phrase gotten misconstrued? Are we trying to force ourselves to have joy while ignoring healthy, God-given emotions like sadness, grief, or anger (John 11:35)?
In this article, we’ll endeavor to uncover what the phrase “choose joy” truly means, some iterations men may face—since women are more often to choose joy, and some biblical alternatives we can seek.
The phrase “choose joy” may seem straightforward. Two words. Choose (I am choosing to feel) joy (a sense of happiness amid my circumstances).
But the phrase has far more nuance than this. We’ll first uncover what the phrase means and why it can be insidious if left to the wrong hands or mindset.
The origins of the phrase “choose joy” are hard to locate. But the phrase certainly has garnered plenty of attention in recent years. You can find the words “choose joy” peppered in Christian living books, on social posts, and in several other places.
We can certainly point to several verses in Scripture (and will, in a later section, point these out) that encourage joy in every season. So what’s the matter with the phrase “choose joy?” What does it actually mean?
The Problem with “Choose”
The word “choose” gives humans the control. The problem is that when we try to take control into our own hands, we take it out of the hands of God.
Although it may seem like a godly sentiment to force ourselves to have joy amid sorrow, if we try to muster joy with our own strength, we are playing God in that scenario. And playing God is, by nature, sinful. We see that from the very beginning of sin (Genesis 3).
This brings us to the second issue with the phrase “choose joy.”
The Problem with “Joy”
Joy is a gift from God. If you haven’t had a chance to understand the nuances of this gift, we highly recommend checking out C.S. Lewis’s Surprised by Joy.
God bestows joy to those he indwells. But therein lies the problem with “choose joy.” If we try to force joy on our own, we aren’t truly choosing “joy.” We’re forcing some counterfeit of joy.
Happiness, pleasant feelings, denial of grief, the list goes on. We have to keep in mind that Satan operates in half-truths. He’ll gladly give you a counterfeit, so you can avoid experiencing true joy when you ask God to give it to you.
This can lead to a host of problems. Perhaps it can appear as resentment bubbling up, taken out on spouses or family members. Perhaps it can appear as a mental health crisis, as a person cannot deal with sorrow or anger healthily.
Although Christian women tend to get bombarded by the phrase, “Choose joy,” Christian men also experience a variant form: “Choose bravery.”
As previously mentioned, joy is not wrong. Neither is being brave. Bravery is an honorable trait to earn and takes practice to master. We see great examples of bravery in history and our world today. The soldier who puts his life on the line for his country and comrades. The firefighter who willingly runs into a burning building to rescue the person trapped inside. The individual who gives up an organ for someone who needs a transplant. The list goes on. These can be traits of bravery and should not be belittled.
The Problem with “Being Brave”
The problem that can occur is how we treat bravery. Men may intentionally or unintentionally treat bravery as a pinnacle of manhood to the point where they must not show fear. If any fear arises, they may feel they have to be strong-willed and snuff it out.
The reality is that men do indeed have fears. Masking fear with a false sense of bravery only prolongs the inevitable of that fear rising and eventually blowing up before us. True bravery recognizes and overcomes fear. It does not hide it, belittle it, or avoid it.
The solution? Biblical courage. It’s a variant of bravery but relies on God (more on it below).
Since we’ve identified joy and courage as separate from happiness and bravery, what does the Bible say about them?
It has a lot to say. Let’s go ahead and explore a few verses on each of these.
What the Bible Has to Say about Joy
Isaiah 9:3: God increases our joy. He takes what we have and multiplies it. We cannot multiply or muster it on our own. It comes from him.
Romans 15:13: God fills us with joy. This doesn’t negate grief or sorrow. We can experience those and simultaneously experience the joy of God. But we have to keep in mind that it is God who fills us, not us who fill ourselves.
James 1:2-3: Christians can experience godly joy amid dire circumstances, such as tests and trials. God tends to give Christians joy in their darkest hours, especially when they ask him for it.
1 Peter 1:8-9: Pay attention closely to these verses. God fills us with an “inexpressible” and “glorious” joy. Certainly, only he can give us something so indescribable and glory-filled.
What the Bible Has to Say about Courage
Psalm 23:4: When life throws us into the valley of the shadow of death, we put our trust in him. Godly courage comes from entering dark places hand-in-hand with our Savior.
Psalm 112:7: Hearts will be steadfast when placing trust in the Lord.
John 14:17: God gives us peace amid hard times. But we cannot muster that peace on our own. It is not anti-Christian to be scared in the face of uncertainty. If Jesus sweat blood in the Garden of Gethsemane, it is okay to experience fear. So long as you let God guide you along the path.
2 Timothy 1:7: God’s Spirit empowers. Even when we experience fear, the Spirit will guide us with the right words to say and the right actions to complete.
An alternative to choosing joy is receiving joy. As previously mentioned, choosing joy can lead to acting on our own accord rather than relying on God for joy. Because joy is something God gives us, we receive joy there. To receive joy is to let go of the need to control. We must let go of fixing every situation on our own terms or on our own merit. By receiving joy, we give God our burdens.
This may take time. We are made in God’s image, but we are also inherently selfish creatures. And that’s the point. God does not promise an easy life (regardless of how many times we misquote Jeremiah 29:11 and Philippians 4:13). In contrast, He warns us of the difficulty to come when we choose to follow him (John 15:18-27). That said, God does promise how we can endure the pains of life. He promises refreshment and a lightened load when we come and rest in him (Matt. 11:28-30). When accepting joy, we lighten our load by giving it to God daily in the small things and eventually in the bigger things.
As for bravery, the alternative would be courage. Bravery and courage tend to be mistaken for the same meaning. In reality, these two terms are separate. In episode 35 of the Typology Podcast, Sarah Therbarge describes the two different views. She states, “Being brave is when you don’t feel afraid, so you take risks or do dangerous things. Being courageous is when you feel all the fear, but you choose to do it anyway because there is something more important at stake.”
When the Israelites were preparing to enter the Promised Land, they were called to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:1-9). In fact, they are told this multiple times in the same chapter. Before this, Israel was prevented from entering the Promised Land due to their distrust in God as they took matters into their own hands (Deut. 1:26-33).
Despite God’s promise of deliverance, Israel refused and was punished as a result. With the new generation of Israel, God constantly reminds them not to be courageous but where to place that courage. Israel was not called to have no fear at all. Neither are we. We are called to fear not, we are called to be courageous, and we are called to receive the joy God gives. To give God control is to let go of fear, and giving Him control has to be done daily. That is how much we need God.
To acknowledge the fear, we have to acknowledge our emotions. Emotions are not signs of weakness; they are signs of how God made us in his image, including how we feel. To receive joy is to acknowledge grief. To become courageous to admit we have fears. The process of grief and fear takes time. The process can involve spiritual direction, grief recovery, and, yes, therapy.
The best part about receiving joy and becoming courageous is that we are not in it alone. Not only is Christ with us, but we are also with each other. We must build each other up, encourage one another, pray for one another, and bear each other’s burdens, as St. Paul tells us. We do not rely on our strength to choose joy or be solely brave. We rely on the peace of God that transcends all understanding as we receive His joy and become courageous.
Photo Credit: Getty Images/Andrzej Rostek
Hope Bolinger is an acquisitions editor at End Game Press, book editor for hire, and the author of almost 30 books. More than 1500 of her works have been featured in various publications. Check out her books at hopebolinger.com for clean books in most genres, great for adults and kids. Check out her editing profile at Reedsy.com to find out about hiring her for your next book project.
This article is part of our Christian Terms catalog, exploring words and phrases of Christian theology and history. Here are some of our most popular articles covering Christian terms to help your journey of knowledge and faith:
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