The saying “bless your heart” is a common saying among Christians, especially in the South. I grew up in the South, therefore, I heard this saying a lot. “Bless your heart” should not be stated by Christians for many reasons, such as the phrase has an empty meaning, and it is often used in derogatory manners. This article will cover why Christians should stop saying, “Bless your heart.”
They Don’t Mean It
Normally a person may say “bless your heart” after you suffer from an illness or have been hurt in some way. In the South, it is thrown around so much that it loses its meaning. When people say, “Bless your heart,” they tend to say the term rather mindlessly.
It becomes a kind of reflex to end a statement with “bless your heart” when in reality, the other person does not have any concern for your well-being. It is similar to the phrase “I’ll pray for you,” when many people do not even remember you in their prayers.
Long story short, when a person says, “Bless your heart,” the individual normally doesn’t mean it. I am sure there are some people who do mean it when they say it; however, for the majority of people, they do not truly mean it. “Bless your heart” should be said out of kindness and sincerity, but most times it is not.
Since the phrase has been used so much, it would be hard to connect a spiritual truth with this saying. “Bless your heart” should not be used by Christians because, for us who are familiar with this saying, we can see right through it.
It Can Be Used as Sarcasm
There are even negative connotations associated with the saying “bless your heart.” It is commonly used in reference to sarcasm, or it can be used at the end of a sentence to “nullify any cruelty.”
As an example, a person might say, “You can’t figure out the answer, oh, bless your heart” or, “You are so mean to others, bless your heart.” There is nothing Christian associated with this saying as it is full of sarcasm and double meanings.
The saying “bless your heart” is two-faced because on the surface it sounds like the person genuinely cares about you, but deep within the person, they are using the term in a negative and mean-spirited manner.
Ranging from meanings such as being dumb or being an idiot, this saying can also refer to profanity (Ibid.). Sarcasm, being mean to others, and using terms relating to profanity should not be used by Christians.
What We Should Say Instead
Rather than using sarcasm, hurtful words, or profanity, Christians should speak kindly, truthfully, and in love. Colossians 3:12 tells us, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
In the same way, Paul tells us, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
There is no place for sarcasm or hurtful speech in a believer’s life. We should use our words to build others up, not to tear them down (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Saying “bless your heart” is steeped in negative meanings, which Christians need to avoid.
Sarcasm can become a habit for us, but it is a habit we must break. Among mainstream media, sarcasm is praised and seen as “funny” or “humorous,” but it really is not. Sarcasm is hurtful and degrading to others.
In our words and actions, we need to display Christ to the lost world. There are many things we can say and do instead of saying “bless your heart” that will truly communicate the compassion and love we have for the other person.
Rather than saying “bless your heart,” say things such as “I see you are in pain. Is there anything I can do to help?” You could also say, “I am here for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do.”
The saying “bless your heart” was originally meant to be a way to communicate love, thankfulness, or wishing for a steady recovery of an illness; however, it has evolved and morphed into a sarcastic saying rather than a saying filled with the love of Christ.
Christians need to stop saying “bless your heart” because it is no longer a saying of love, but rather, a saying of sarcasm and hurt. In the modern-day 21st century, the Southern saying of “bless your heart” does not need to be spoken by Christians.
As Christians, we need to build one another up with words of life, not words of death. Proverbs 16:24, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Every word that we say does have power to them, which is why we need to use our words to build others up in the Lord. We should never tear down others with sarcasm or hurtful words.
Truly Being There for Others
Truly being there for others and offering your listening ear, encouragement, and support is what truly matters. The true biblical meaning of “bless” in the Bible is dramatically different from the meaning of “bless your heart.”
As stated by Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology, “To be blessed is to be granted special favor by God with resulting joy and prosperity.” As humans, we cannot bless others in the same way God can bless individuals.
We can bless others by reminding them of God’s truth and His love for them. Christians should seek out ways to help our brothers and sisters in Christ as well as those who have not accepted Him.
Saying “bless your heart” will only push people away from God and His love. This is because of the lack of compassion and the negative connotation associated with this saying.
Instead of saying “bless your heart,” make the intentional decision to show your genuine care and concerns for your friends and family in your words and actions. “Bless your heart” is sarcastic and hateful when used inappropriately.
Rather than using this saying, try to use words and actions that build others up. As someone who has been told “bless your heart” many times, it is a phrase that needs to stop, especially among Christians.
This saying doesn’t have any Christian connection to it, but rather, sarcastic undertones. Sarcasm does not belong in a believer’s life as it only hurts others. Everything we say and do needs to point to God’s glory, goodness, and love.
When we are talking with others and are tempted to say, “Bless your heart,” we need to take a moment to pause and think about what we are about to say. “Bless your heart” can easily be a snide remark and leave the other person feeling hurt and worthless.
We should never cause another person to feel bad nor should our words have double meanings. In our speech and words, we need to be truthful, kind, and compassionate. Whenever we interact with another person, we need to treat them as we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12).
Nobody would want another person to say mean things to them, therefore, we must not say mean things to others. “Bless your heart” is a saying that must go for Christians. The saying is filled with falsehood, sarcasm, and double meanings.
As believers, when we are trying to give support and help to others, we need to do it in a true and authentic way of loving others, listening to them, and helping in any way we can.
For further reading:
What Does it Mean to Bless God?
How to Remember That Words Do Hurt
How Do I Bless the Lord Oh My Soul?
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