Recently, I’ve found myself in places where my faith feels graded and where my words and actions are placed against theology to determine their worth and belonging. I’ve been surrounded by people who place a standard of faith that seems to have me seated right outside of the boundary– beneath them, an outsider.
To them, I am not as biblically focused or as scripturally sound. My heart wasn’t being judged, nor were my morals or ethics. Instead, they analyzed and measured the most delicate pieces of my being and existence– they calculated and appraised my faith. And their data seemed to show a woman who could walk among them and be seated at the same tables, but one that wasn’t as deserving of holding that seat—a woman who had faith but one that wasn’t as distinguished and as fruitful as theirs.
And I believed them– trusted them even. I used their opinions and requests to mold and shape my work, relationships, and perspectives. It felt unauthentic, but I did it anyway because I trusted their faith more than mine. As someone who has always had a vulnerable and sometimes challenging relationship with faith, I didn’t feel qualified to doubt their motivation or their knowledge. I didn’t feel knowledgeable enough to question the truths of scripture that differed in viewpoint from women and men who certainly seemed more holy than myself.
What happens when you start feeling not quite Christian enough for the people and places you’ve climbed towards?
What happens when the faith that took you so long to accept and solidify is challenged by others who are using it to determine your worth and your glory?
You pause, and you breathe.
Then, you search.
You read.
You find.
You trust– not others, but God.
You realize that faith isn’t like a corporate business model. You don’t need to be alone at the top– claiming victory and success in the number of days you’ve opened your bible or the quantity of sermons you’ve sat through. The goal isn’t in yourself but in others. Success in faith can only be done in community and collaboration– with God and with others.
No one’s faith is superior. There is no standard of faith, no level to reach. It doesn’t demand perfection; it simply demands belief and trust.
When you feel inadequate or flawed in your faith and Christianity, read these pieces of scripture, and remember:
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” - Romans 8:1
When others make us feel less faithful or unworthy, God’s truths and promises don’t change. We are fully accepted and fully loved, always. Our value and worth are not and will never be determined by others’ opinions or comparisons. Romans 8:1 reminds us that we are forgiven, accepted for our flaws and authenticity, and loved abundantly. When others minimize our faith or try to define it in terms that lessen its weight against their own, remember Christ’s sacrifices cover all— you and them, equally and unconditionally.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” -Ephesians 2:8-9
Grace is available to everyone— regardless of our shortcomings, regardless of our past, or how our faith has been tested through the years. If others judge your faith, let them, but do not allow them to create doubt of your worth or your faithfulness. We shouldn’t be comparing our faith; we should be collaborating with it. We should be creating new faith, bolder faith, trusting faith, and not trying to diminish the hard-fought faith that others hold. Comparisons and judgment don’t earn us higher rankings with the Lord.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30
Measuring up to human standards can feel impossible. Lucky for us, we don’t have to. We aren’t called to be perfect or to prove our worth through external expectations. We are called to trust in His grace and His unwavering love. Our faithfulness and Christianity are not meant to be graded on outsider expectations and standards, for they are not the ones offering peace and freedom. We find relief from the weight of others’ expectations and judgments in God.
“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” - Luke 18:9-14
If you feel weighed down by the critical eyes and opinions of those around you, watching as they compare their faith to yours, placing their spiritual knowledge above your own, remember the only opinion that matters— His. Remember that the church and its members do not get a say or a vote on who enters heaven or who will gain His glory. Please do not waste your worry or worth on those criticizing faith rather than creating and strengthening it. He places humility and authenticity over pride and righteousness— always.
You cannot prevent others from critiquing your faithfulness or judging your level of Christianity. You can, however, keep your mind focused on what matters and keep your heart positioned for the Lord. Your worth lies in Him, not them– always and forever. And more than anything, remember: Your faithfulness speaks for itself, as does their judgment. True loyalty doesn’t need validation.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Delmaine Donson
