There are many false ideas about marriage, both in the world and among some Christians. In recent years, the topic of same-sex marriage has exploded on the scene in multiple countries as people reconsider and restructure “traditional” marriage between a man and a woman.
Even some Christians have accepted same-sex marriage as a legitimate form of marriage. However, when discussing the design and purpose of marriage, people should consider what God has to say about this topic since He is the author of marriage.
Marriage is far more than two people coming together because they love each other. Instead, God views marriage as a serious covenant between two people that should not be treated lightly. He created the first marriage between Adam and Eve, the first humans, which sets a precedent for today.
The relationship between husband and wife is intended to reflect Christ’s loving concern for His “bride,” the church. Furthermore, God designed marriage as a temporary institution to produce fruit for His glory.
Marriage in the Eyes of God
After creating Adam on day six of creation, God formed Eve and gave her in marriage to Adam (Genesis 2:18-25). They were joined together and became one at the time of their marriage (Genesis 2:24).
Based on the account of the first marriage, which God created, only one man and one woman can be properly and legitimately married in the eyes of God. This view was also reiterated by the Lord Jesus when He was asked about the topic of marriage and divorce (Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7).
The Lord designed marriage to be a relationship between a man and a woman, which exemplifies loving sacrifice. God often used the imagery of husband and wife when He referred to His relationship with Israel (Isaiah 54:5; Hosea 2:19).
Even so, the people of Israel were like a helpless orphan who grew up to be an adulterous woman, God continued to show love toward His chosen people (Ezekiel 16:1-19, 59-63).
Furthermore, He used the example of Hosea’s marriage to an adulterous woman to show that He would redeem His people at a great cost to Himself (Hosea 1:2; 3:1-5; Romans 5:8).
The sacrificial love of Christ should be reflected in the husband-and-wife relationship (Ephesians 5:21-33). Jesus does not act like a prideful tyrant over His beloved “bride,” the church. Rather, He laid down His life to save believers (Ephesians 5:25).
Hence, husbands should not mistreat their wives or lord over them as a tyrant (Ephesians 5:28-33). Likewise, wives are to take the attitude of love toward their husbands, just as the body of believers love the Lord Jesus (Ephesians 5:24).
Submission is often stressed as the wife’s role, but both the husband and wife should take a servant attitude and submit to each other (Matthew 23:11; Philippians 2:5; Ephesians 5:21-22). In this way, they will glorify God in their actions toward each other.
Such Christ-like love is not easy and goes against the idea that the marriage relationship is built on lust or “eros” love. However, sacrificial love is God’s design for marriage, which means laying down one’s own desires and needs for the good of another.
What Marriage Is Not
Based on the scriptural view of marriage being a union of husband and wife striving to reflect Jesus’ love, there are limits as to what qualifies as marriage. While the world and some Christians may argue that “anything goes” on the topic of marriage, God’s Word shows that many of the relationships the world accepts are wrong.
First, same-sex marriage is not a legitimate form of marriage. While it is true that there are people who feel an attraction to the same sex, this does not mean that gay unions are an alternative to God’s design for marriage.
Scripture clearly labels homosexuality as sin and is the result of the fall of mankind (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:21-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9). However, people who have feelings toward the same sex should not be criminalized or made to feel as if they are the “worst of the worse” sinners. All people are sinners and need the salvation of Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23-25).
The answer is not to tell homosexuals or members of the LGBTQ+ community to become “straight” but to encourage them to find their fulfillment and desires in Jesus alone. Celibacy is a valid option for people, including people who have homosexual tendencies, although this is not a popular option in today’s sex-obsessed world.
Next, polygamy is not a valid form of marriage either. People may look at the Bible and assume that because Jacob or David had multiple wives and concubines that it is okay to have multiple wives or husbands.
However, God intended for there to be only one man and one woman in the marriage covenant (Ephesians 5:31). The first man recorded in the Bible who married multiple wives was a descendant of Cain (Genesis 4:19).
All examples of polygamy in Scripture should also prove that the arrangement is not from God since polygamous marriages always caused trouble and heartache (Genesis 30:1-24; 1 Samuel 1:1-8; 2 Samuel 13; 1 Kings 11:4). Therefore, having multiple spouses is not true marriage in the eyes of God.
Finally, a believer would be wise to only seek out another believer if they are considering marriage. Because marriage is used as a reflection of Jesus’ sacrifice for the church, believers should not seek to marry unbelievers.
There are instances where a person becomes saved and positively influences their spouse to place faith in Christ (1 Corinthians 7:16). However, if a young man or woman is considering marriage to an unbeliever, there is good reason to question this relationship.
If they are seeking to honor God with their lives, how can being united with a person who does not know Christ be honoring? How will such a union affect that person’s relationship with Christ?
In the Old Testament, the Israelites were urged not to marry unbelievers because they would be led astray into idolatry (Deuteronomy 7:3; Joshua 23:12; 1 Kings 11:4; Ezra 9:2; Nehemiah 13:25). Also, the New Testament urges believers not to be “unequally yoked” to unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14).
While there are complexities to marriage relationships, young disciples of Christ who are considering marriage need to be careful who they marry and not let their feelings carry them away into a decision that can hurt their relationship with Christ.
Fruitfulness in Marriage
Just as there are legitimate and illegitimate forms of marriage, there is also a specific purpose for why God set up marriage. As a temporary institution (Matthew 22:30), marriage was designed to be fruitful. While this may include children for some married couples, fruitfulness extends beyond the fruit of the womb.
A couple can glorify God without children, either due to inability to conceive or by choice. Children are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), but marriages are also intended by God to be fruitful in other ways.
Another way a marriage can be fruitful in the way God intends is for husbands and wives to leverage their life position to make Christ known and to disciple others.
Married people will have unique opportunities to evangelize that people in other life situations will not have, which is why they must be aware of the situations around them that God has placed in their lives to make the gospel known.
A couple with children may be able to start an evangelistic outreach to the families at their child’s school. Likewise, a husband-and-wife team without kids could combine their skills and experience to disciple younger couples in their neighborhood or serve on a Bible translation team.
A biblical example of a couple producing spiritual fruit is Priscilla and Aquilla (Acts 18:1-3). This couple utilized their own relationship dynamic and unique connection to the Apostle Paul to serve Jesus by evangelizing and making disciples (Acts 18:18, 26).
They also conducted a house church in their home, which Paul commended in one of His letters (1 Corinthians 16:19). Thus, fruitfulness in marriage can extend beyond the physical fruit of bearing children to include spiritual fruitfulness and productivity as well.
Reflecting Christ’s Love
As was mentioned earlier in this article, marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for the church. To a watching world, Christian married couples can provide a visible testimony of a Christlike attitude and sacrificial love.
Not only will this strengthen a couple’s marriage, but it will also bring opportunities to share the good news of Jesus Christ with others. By taking a servant’s heart for each other, a husband and wife can display the love of Christ to others and share the gospel when people become interested in their sacrificial acts of love.
For further reading:
What Is the Biblical Definition of Marriage?
Love from the Garden to the Silver Screen
Why Does Marriage Exist if it Doesn't in Heaven?
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