Midlife can bring an unsettling sense that our lives are not quite what we envisioned. After years of pursuing work, family, and personal goals, we may begin questioning everything—ourselves, our lives, and our past, present, and future. These questions may linger as whispers inviting reflection or grow into nagging echoes of disappointment over the gap between where we are and where we thought we would be. As these thoughts and emotions persist, they risk progressing into the all-consuming experience known as a midlife crisis.
What Is a Midlife Crisis?
According to Oxford Languages, a “midlife crisis” is “an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence.” Not everyone experiences it, but those who do often face intense emotional struggles, questioning their self-worth and life direction.
Signs and Symptoms of Midlife Crisis
Recognizing the early signs of a midlife crisis can help us address it before it deepens. A midlife crisis may develop gradually or arise unexpectedly. Even when life appears fine on the outside, early signs of a midlife crisis can arise on the inside, such as feeling unsettled, discontent, or as if something is missing. Transitions—like aging, an empty nest, or caregiving—stir up conflicting emotions, pressing questions, or discouraging thought patterns that, over time, may lead to inner turmoil.
Life-changing events that leave little time to process or adjust, such as divorce, the loss of a loved one, or significant illness, may also abruptly trigger a midlife crisis. These unexpected disruptions intensify emotional distress and can create complex and long-term challenges, as well as a sense of instability.
Midlife struggles can significantly affect our emotions, thoughts, and well-being. Early signs of a midlife crisis can escalate into symptoms like lack of motivation, mood swings, impulsive behavior, feelings of emptiness, self-doubt, and regret. Physical effects may include difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances, fatigue, weight changes, or chronic pain. Hopelessness, depression, or anxiety can also occur. Symptoms of depression and midlife crisis can overlap. Hormonal, biological, or psychological factors may also play a role. Seeking support is important to identify the underlying causes of your symptoms.
When a midlife crisis is ongoing, it can affect health, relationships, career, finances, and spiritual life. As Christians, these struggles may test our faith and make it harder to experience God’s peace, joy, and purpose. Recognizing midlife crisis symptoms is an important first step. Understanding the core struggles behind one is essential to learning how to overcome a midlife crisis or finding ways to prevent it.
4 Core Questions of Midlife Crisis – and Key Shifts That Help
Uncertainty and struggles in four deeply personal yet common areas—identity, purpose, change, and direction—often contribute to midlife crises. Below, we explore the core questions in these areas and how they influence what we ask, feel, and think. We also consider how we often respond to these struggles in daily life. Key shifts and reflections offer a spiritual perspective for overcoming or avoiding midlife crisis.
1. Identity
Questioning Your Identity
Core Question: “Who am I now?”
The experience of a midlife crisis often begins with a deep questioning of your identity. You may wonder who you are as a person, apart from your roles, work, successes, and failures. You might feel like you no longer recognize yourself or are unsure who you are meant to be. Comparing yourself to others or being influenced by unrealistic expectations, you may even doubt your value. As you seek to understand your identity, you may find yourself…
Asking: “What defines me beyond what I do?”
Feeling: Conflicted with an unclear sense of your true self
Thinking: "Am I good enough?"
Responding by: Looking to external sources to determine your identity and worth
Seeing yourself through God’s eyes instead of the lens of self-doubt reveals your uniqueness and how you are created to fulfill a specific role in His greater plan.
Embracing Your Identity
Shift: "How does God see me?" Your true identity lies in the God who created you and knows your worth.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." - Psalm 139:13-14 NIV
Embracing your God-given design and identity in Christ frees you from needing external validation, allowing you to live authentically as the person God created you to be. As you shift your focus, you begin…
Asking: “How does God define me?”
Feeling: Secure in embracing how God sees me
Thinking: “God designed me with intention and value just as I am.”
Responding by: Reconnecting with my true identity in Christ
Believing what God says about your identity replaces the uncertainty and confusion of midlife with confidence in who you are.
Reflection: What unique qualities has God given you that you can embrace today?
2. Purpose
Searching for Meaning
Core Question: “Was I made for more?”
Midlife is a time of contemplation that often involves a search for the deeper meaning of your life. Though you have accomplished many things, you may feel unfulfilled. You might want to make a difference in new ways but have not yet figured out how. These dilemmas can stir up restlessness as you consider your legacy and impact. As you search yourself, you might be…
Asking: “What is missing in my life?”
Feeling: Unsettled, adrift, or as though you are just going through the motions in life
Thinking: “I don’t know what my purpose is now.”
Responding by: Seeking significance through trial and error without focus
Always settling or experimenting can leave you overwhelmed and empty, but aligning with what God calls you to will bring more clarity and passion to your life.
Unfolding Your Purpose
Shift: "What is God's purpose for me?" As you remain faithful to each slight stirring or clear sign God provides, His purpose for you will be revealed in His time.
"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10 NIV
You can trust that everything you do–big or small, private or public, to serve one or many–has meaning in God’s plan. When you shift your perspective, you start…
Asking: “What purpose does God have for me at this stage of life?”
Feeling: A sense of fulfillment and peace knowing I’m living in God’s will
Thinking: “I am growing into my purpose even if I don’t fully see it yet.”
Responding by: Exploring how to align with what you sense God is moving you toward
God will lead you to express your purpose uniquely in each season. There is no need to fret over what you should do or force yourself onto a specific path. Simply pursuing what God is prompting you toward now replaces the unrest of midlife with contentment in His calling.
Reflection: What recurring passion or nudge from God may point to His purpose for you right now?
3. Change
Reevaluating Your Life
Core Question: “Where do I need to make some changes?
A midlife crisis often involves reevaluating your life amid past decisions, mistakes, and regrets. You might feel dissatisfied with life because of unrealized dreams, not being further along, or wishing you were in a different place by now. Disappointment can lead you to believe you have missed opportunities meant for you and that it is too late or impossible to make meaningful life changes.
As you reflect, you could be…
Asking: "What if I had made different choices?"
Feeling: Regret, stuck, or longing for a change
Thinking: “I’ve wasted so much time.”
Responding by: Second-guessing yourself and struggling to believe something more is possible
Letting go of what is beyond your control and leaning into God’s will brings transformation, new possibilities, and renewed hope as His power works in your life.
Reimagining Your Life
Shift: "What is God’s vision for my life?” Turning to God for insight and instruction invites Him to transform you and your life beyond what you imagined possible.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV
Understanding God’s vision for you and your life enables you to focus your efforts to grow from the inside out into all He has planned for you. In shifting your view, you will be…
Asking: "How does God want me to grow during this season?"
Feeling: Anticipation and hope for the transformation God has in store
Thinking: “With God’s power, I can become all He created me to be."
Responding by: Taking steps of faith to embrace the changes God is leading me toward
As you pursue God’s vision, He guides and empowers you to move beyond your perceived limitations and live the life He intended.
Reflection: What is one change you sense God is guiding you to make that aligns with His vision for your life?
4. Direction
Pondering Your Future
Core Question: “Where am I going with my life?”
A primary focus of a midlife crisis is pondering your future life direction–wondering about your next steps and where you are headed. Whether confused by many choices or feeling like you have none, the uncertainty of what lies ahead can lead to fear, anxiety, and indecision. You might question if you are on the right path, hesitate to move forward, or rush into decisions.
In your search for answers, you may find yourself…
Asking: “What am I supposed to do now?”
Feeling: Anxious or uncertain about what is next in life
Thinking: “What if I make the wrong decision?”
Responding by: Overthinking, holding back, or overcommitting
Setting aside the push for progress to follow God’s path and pace eases the pressure to have it all figured out, allowing you to enjoy the journey meant for you.
Entrusting Your Future
Shift: "How is God inviting me to trust Him with my future?" Trusting God with each step draws you closer to Him, allowing you to move forward in His plan, even when the path is not fully clear.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
Relying on God instead of your perceptions and strength helps you follow His direction for your life with courage and confidence.
By shifting your approach, you will begin…
Asking: “What dreams does God have for me?”
Feeling: Hopeful about the future and the possibilities God is preparing for me
Thinking: “All things God plans for me are possible through His power.”
Responding by: Trusting God’s guidance and taking steps forward with intention
Looking to God to shape your future builds patience and faith as He guides you in taking each step with purpose.
Reflection: What is one small step you can take to trust God and align with His plan for your future?
In the questions and challenges of midlife, God’s promises offer clarity, hope, and assurance.
Embracing God’s Hope and Promises in Midlife
The disruptive signs and symptoms of a midlife crisis often stem from uncertainty around identity, purpose, change, and direction. Bringing our struggles before God invites His loving presence into them, guiding us in how to get through a midlife crisis and comforting our troubled hearts.
"If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you." - James 1:5 CEV
Making intentional shifts toward God’s wisdom above our own perspective cultivates clarity and confidence in every area of life. We receive strength and renewal as we rest in His promises and place our hope in Him. Embracing your true identity and allowing God’s purpose to unfold fulfills His plans for you. By reimagining what is possible with Him and entrusting your future to His direction, your midlife season can be filled filled with resilience, peace, and joy.
Photo Credit: Dylan Ferreira/Unsplash
Connect with Arris on her website, https://liveinspiredbypurpose.com/, or through Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and YouTube.
