Christian manhood emerges from discipleship within varied contexts and relationships. No idea of “Christian manhood” can be separated from discipleship and still be properly described as “Christian.” If the phrase “Christian man” is to mean anything at all, it must refer to a man or group of men who are united with Christ through faith and learning to live under Christ’s authority.
The bravado so often associated with being a “man” doesn’t emerge from discipleship. It reflects a notion of manhood shaped by our culture. To be a Christian man requires the rejection of “masculine” stereotypes to the extent that such stereotypes hinder men from becoming gentle (Eph 4:2; 1 Thess 2:7; 1 Tim 6:11; 2 Tim 2;25), meek (Matt 5:5; 2 Cor 10:1; Col 3:12), and compassionate (Col 3:12).
We live in a world where blurring the distinctions between “man” and “woman” is becoming more common. Retaining the distinction between male and female is crucial. Man and woman are of a kind—they are the same sort of beings made in the image of God—but they are also distinct. Because “male and female he [God] created them” (Gen 1:27), we cannot collapse the two into one. At the same time, we need to avoid overstating the distinctions. As we think about what characterizes a “Christian man,” we should keep the following in mind:
What Are the Characteristics of a Christian Man?
There is a difference between saying that men can learn from Jesus and saying that Jesus is the prototypical male.
Like all disciples, Christian men are to learn to observe all Christ commanded. Men can (and should!) learn from Jesus. That said, they aren’t learning from Jesus because Jesus is male. Are there lessons in being male that Christian men can learn from Jesus? Yes. Does the fact that Jesus is male preclude women from learning lessons from Jesus? No. Jesus is the ideal human. As such, when we—whether we are male or female—imitate Christ, we become more human even as we remain male or female.
Individual Christian men embody the world differently in different contexts.
Broad generalizations are both helpful and limited. For instance, it is generally true that men are physically stronger than women; however, I could go on Instagram and find many women who can deadlift, bench press, and squat more than I can. Is a woman who out-lifts me more of a “man” than me? Not at all. The same applies for men. Being physically stronger than another man doesn’t make me “manlier” than him. We need to recognize men as individuals apart from stereotypes. Each man is a unique individual who embodies the world differently than other men. As such, we need to recognize that broad, general characteristics can be over-applied—made more abstract than concrete—when considering a concept like “Christian man.”
Cultural contexts and relationships condition but do not govern what it means to be a Christian man.
God is concerned about maintaining order and the boundaries and distinctions he established at creation. Creating confusion or blurring distinctions is to be avoided. For instance, in Deuteronomy, God prohibits women from wearing men’s garments (Deut 22:5). However, we need to recognize that the command speaks to a particular culture. It doesn’t, for instance, preclude Scottish kilts or women’s pants suits. The cultural context conditions specific practices but does not govern the overarching posture Christians are to adopt toward the world—we are to respect God’s order. Christian manhood is conditioned by the culture but governed by Christ’s authority. What it means to be a “Christian man” may manifest differently in different contexts, but being a “Christian man” still means something—it is distinct from being a Christian woman or from being a man more generally.
With these preliminary thoughts in mind, we can now consider what it means to be a Christian man.
What Does the Bible Say about Christian Manhood?
Does the Bible provide a singular paradigm of Christian manhood? I’m not so sure. Clearly, there are males portrayed in the Scriptures, but it isn’t clear just how we would determine which characteristics of a given male figure inform what it means to be faithful regardless of sex (men and women) versus those that inform only what it means to be a man (men only).
Jesus, for instance, is not just a model for men but for everyone. Paul does not encourage only the Philippian men to imitate Christ but the whole Philippian community—male and female (2:1-11). The fact that Jesus is male is not inconsequential. The fact that he was male almost certainly informed the way he interacted in the world. He was able to move into society as a male, which would have had a variety of advantages and limitations. Jesus was not showing us what it meant to be a Christian man to the exclusion of what it meant to be a human more generally, or if he was, it is difficult to discern when he is doing one rather than the other. To illustrate the point, we don’t counsel women to imitate Christ selectively because we don’t believe that when women imitate him, they are in any danger of becoming less female instead of becoming more human.
Apart from the portrayals of men in Scripture, there are lists of characteristics given for different groups of men and women. For instance, 1 Timothy 3:1-3 concerns male overseers. Many of the virtues noted for overseers, however, don’t appear to have been limited to men. Note the following application of characteristics from 1 Timothy 3:1-7 in other contexts:
- “above reproach” (1 Tim 3:2)- See 1 Tim 5:7 (widows)
- “sober-minded” (1 Tim 3:2)- See 1 Tim 3:11 (wives)
- “self-controlled” (1 Tim 3:2)- See Tit 2:5 (young women)
- “respectable” (1 Tim 3:2)- 1 Tim 2:9 (women; often translated “modesty”)
- “hospitable” (1 Tim 3:2)- See 1 Peter 4:9 (whole community of faith)
- “able to teach” (1 Tim 3:2)- This term is not applied to women though women are described or portrayed as teaching in other contexts (Tit 2:3)
- “drunkard” (1 Tim 3:3)- Though this exact phrase is not applied to women, Titus 2:3 commands older women not to be “slaves to much wine.” We also see general prohibitions of drunkenness applied to the whole community (Eph 5:18).
- “violent” (1 Tim 3:3)- This term is not applied to women.
- “gentle” (1 Tim 3:3)- See Phil 4:5 and Tit 3:2 (whole community of faith); see also Jam 3:17 (characteristic of “wisdom from above”)
- “not a brawler” (1 Tim 3:3)- See Titus 3:2 (whole community of faith)
- “not a lover of money (1 Tim 3:3)- See Heb 13:5 (whole community of faith)
There are some male-specific characteristics in 1 Timothy 3:3-7. For instance, managing one’s household seems to be a male-specific role. While most of the characteristics are not limited to men, men will embody these characteristics in unique ways within their various relationships.
How Should Christian Men Navigate Their Roles in Society and Relationships?
In Ephesians 5:15-6:9, Paul offers instructions about how to walk “as wise” rather than “as unwise” (5:15). Having called the Ephesians to be “filled by the Spirit,” Paul describes the behaviors resulting from doing so, which include “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (5:21). This “mutual submission” likely refers to the willingness of community members to approach their participation in the various authority structures of society in a manner commensurate with the faith.
The instructions concerning wives/husbands (5:22-32), children/parents (6:1-4), and servants/masters (6:5-9) do not call Christians to ignore or abolish the social structures of which they are a part. Instead, they call Christians to act differently within those structures. The distinctions—whether God-given (e.g., male/female) or culturally determined—remain. What does this mean for Christian men?
1. Culture conditions how men embody themselves in the world but do not govern that embodiment.
Men occupy various positions in society. The positions, however, aren’t necessarily the problem. Instead, the problem is often related to how society conceives of those positions and how men who occupy those positions are rewarded by society. As Augustine describes it, “certain offices of human society” lead us to “be pleased at being loved and feared, not for Thy sake, but in Thy stead.” When Christian men occupy positions and offices, they take on God-ordained and/or cultural roles as husbands, fathers, business leaders, experts in various fields, artists, etc. The way they occupy those positions is not determined by the world but by the Lord.
2. God created man and woman as co-laborers (Gen 2:18-25).
The woman was the man’s ezer—or helper. The English translation “helper” is problematic in so much as it suggests subservience. Biblically, there is no justification for thinking that ezer implies subservience, particularly because God is often described as ezer (Exod 18:4; Deut 33:7; Ps 70:5). As such, co-warrior or co-laborer is probably a better way of understanding the ezer.
So, when Paul notes, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from an. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” in 1 Corinthians 11:8, he is pointing back to the original creation of woman. The woman was made for man because the man was not capable of doing what needed to be done on his own. The woman was made to supplement the man’s gaps. In that sense, she was made “for” him—as a being uniquely qualified to partner with man in the fulfillment of their divine mission together.
Finally, the primary relationship that defines a Christian man is his relationship with Christ. In the instructions to masters and servants, the masters—who would have at least included men—are reminded that their treatment of their servants is to reflect their shared position under Christ’s authority. Because God judges impartially, Masters are to treat their servants with dignity (Eph 6:9; cf. Col 4:1). A man’s position before the Lord is to govern the way he interacts with in his various relationships.
What Distinguishes Christian Men from Society’s View of Masculinity?
1. Being a Christian man is a specialized form of discipleship.
Christian men embody the world as men—male humans. This way of embodying the world lends itself to different forms of obedience learned through discipleship. For instance, it may be telling that only men are called to non-violence (1 Tim 3:3; Tit 1:7). It is not so much that God is fine with women being violent, but that the call to non-violence is less necessary for women than for men. It may be that men are more generally predisposed to violence than women and, as such, needed to hear this specific instruction.
2. Being a Christian man involves navigating society’s structures under the authority of Christ as men.
Christian men are not beholden to the world’s expectations. We answer only to the Lord. As such, a Christian man’s behavior always aims to build God’s kingdom. Christian men do this as men—they work within societal conventions regarding “manhood” while refusing to compromise their theological convictions by accommodating the world’s flawed perspectives.
In the end, Christian men don’t seek first to be manly, but to be Christian. Calling Christian men to “act like men” is a call to discipleship—a call to learn how to live under the authority of Christ within a variety of contexts and relationships as men. There is no blueprint for acting like a man who can be isolated from learning to live under the authority of Christ. What it means to be a Christian man and how a given Christian man embodies Christ differently than a Christian woman or another Christian man emerges from discipleship. It is through discipleship that we slough off the notions of manhood so often promoted in our culture—the machismo that lends itself to domineering and callous behavior, the autonomy that results in irresponsibility, and the tolerance that dampens the urgency to proclaim the gospel.
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