The matter of giving up is a topic that is used in different ways and in multiple contexts in the present day. We are told we shouldn't give up on our dreams, shouldn't give up on our goals, and shouldn't give up on people.
While it is a praiseworthy thing to not give up, sometimes there are times when we must recognize our own boundaries and not feel guilty for adhering to them. Choosing to continue or to give up can be hazy at times; however, God is always with us, and He will give us clarity.
Knowing When to Continue and When to Stop
Giving up is seen as an ugly term in the modern day because we are seen as lazy, unmotivated, or stubborn if we give up. The truth is that sometimes the only thing you can do is to give up.
It doesn't mean you are weak, nor does it mean you didn't try as much as someone else. There can be great strength in giving up, and it can help you be ready for future opportunities that might come your way.
Giving up on our dreams isn't something anybody is encouraged to do, yet sometimes you have to give them up. My mom gave up her dream to be an actress when she married my dad and started a family.
Did my mom miss her dream? Of course, she did, but God had something better planned for her. It is the same with you. Even though we may have our own dreams, it doesn't mean this is what God wants for your life.
Many people have dreams of getting married, starting a family, and living in the suburbs, yet their dreams fall through when God calls them to a life of singleness.
While many people would see this as a disappointment, it shouldn't be. God has the greatest plans for us, even if we might not understand it at the time.
My biggest dream when I was a teen was just to have peace in our daily life. With a family full of stress, hurts, and pains, this didn't happen. I remember always wanting just one day of peace, but it never happened.
Although this never happened, God has used my hurts and pains to help me relate to others. Our hurts and pains shape us into the people we are today, and it is we, as the broken, who are able to help those who are suffering.
Those who don't know what it's like to have broken dreams, broken hearts, and broken families can't relate to the ones who do. This shows the amazing grace of how the Lord can work all things out for our good, even the bad things (Romans 8:28).
Sometimes our dreams will fail, and we will have to give up on them, but it doesn't mean we should give up on God.
God never leaves us, never causes us problems, and never stops loving us. Since this is true, we never need to give up on God. Even if we do give up on God at times, He never gives up on us. God is our loving Father, and He loves us as a Father should.
Not many of us had fathers who loved us, cared about us, or were interested in our lives. Many of our fathers left, while others were never present in our lives.
God isn't like fathers who have failed us. Instead, He always believes in us and knows we are capable of doing wonderful things to bring Him glory.
Therefore, even though we may have to give up material dreams, never do we have to give up on God. Things might become difficult, and we can feel as though our life is falling apart, yet we can always run to God. He will never let us down.
Knowing When it Is Time to Give Up
Knowing when it's time to give up can be challenging, especially since we live in a world that prioritizes busyness, success, and achievements. Despite this being deeply interwoven into our thought process, we need to know it is okay to give up.
Maybe you are working at a job that is bad for your mental health, or maybe a friendship has been tearing you down. Know that it is okay to give up on this job or to give up on this friendship.
Mental health is talked about much in the present day, yet not many of us are taking care of our mental health. A healthy mental space allows us to say no to the things that aren't good for us and allows us to say yes to the things that will help bring us peace.
There are people who overwork themselves and boast about what they do, as though they are wearing a badge for suffering so much. This isn't what we should strive for, as we might lose ourselves in the process.
If you know a situation, a friendship, or a relationship is unhealthy, it is okay to give up on it. If you have tried time after time to make things better and the job isn't getting better, the friend still isn't listening to you, or the relationship is at a dead end, know that you don't need to feel shame for ending it.
There are many things that are outside our control that will bring us down, yet there are also many things that we have control over, such as ending a difficult workplace, friendship, or relationship.
If you are considering stopping or giving up, turn to God in prayer. Ask Him to help you know if it is time to give up a particular situation, friendship, or relationship. He will help you and guide you into the steps you need to take.
If you've noticed God has already been pulling you away from the situation, friendship, or relationship, that can be a sign, it's time to give it up. None of us like the feeling of giving up, yet sometimes it is crucial to give up.
I had to give up a job last year because it was hurting my mental health. While my coworkers didn't understand, I knew it was time to leave.
Did I feel like a failure for giving up? Absolutely. I felt like if only I had worked harder, was stronger, and didn't struggle with mental illness, and I would have been able to keep going.
The truth is I couldn't. Maybe people thought I didn't try hard enough or I gave up too early, but I was able to recognize my own boundaries and know this job was pushing me too far out of my comfort zone.
Taking Care of Your Mental Health
The same rings true for you. If you are at a job or in another situation that you feel you need to end because of mental health reasons or for simply feeling overwhelmed, know that it is okay. Your mental health is very important and doesn't need to be something that is overlooked.
God wants you to take care of your entire being, including your mental health. Taking take of your mental health might come in the form of giving up even when you may have really wanted the end result.
Trust God in the process and take peace in knowing that even when you feel like a failure for giving up, He says you are amazing, wonderful, and strong.
For further reading:
How Does the Bible Teach Us to Handle Anxiety?
Does God Know When We Are Overwhelmed?
What Does the Bible Say about Struggling with Mental Health?
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Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate: https://cultivatechristianity.wordpress.com/.