Friends, this is my public admission. In the words of Taylor Swift, “It’s me, hi.” I confess I have a problem with humility because it terrifies me. I’ve run away from humility because I don’t want to lose (human) control, strength, or power in my life. But the thing is, I’ve tried really hard to gain and keep all those things, and all it has done for me is make me more afraid of failure.
I spent many years in school and in theological training so I could add a few letters after my name. If I can achieve a high level of education, I will be able to put my vocation in my own hands and guide it myself, I thought. I will earn a position of control, strength, and power.
It turned out, though, that the more I studied and learned and “achieved,” the more I realized what I didn’t know. The more aware I was of my weaknesses. Those little letters I had longed to place after my name for so long transformed from symbols of victory into symbols of my secret internal insecurity.
Maybe for you, it was a dream job you thought would put you on the path to success. But along the way, you realized that the dream job was actually just a job and the dream was actually a nightmare.
Or maybe it was something as simple as having the security of a savings fund for a rainy day. Then the rain came and turned into a tornado that wiped out your savings and then some. The hope and confidence you once had were replaced with anxiety and uncertainty.
One way or another, you and I have tried to take things into our own hands, and, in so doing, we’ve viewed humility as unwanted and unnecessary.
Yet amid all our angst and fear and opposition to humility, it is actually humility that will move us forward, into the life we’re longing for.
Okay, but for Real . . . Humility?
Now, you may be shaking your head, thinking humility is a threat that will squash down your strengths and potential. I want to show you that it’s actually a gift that helps the best of who we flourish. You may think it will leave you unstable and weak. I want to show you it will actually make you steady and strong.
If you need more convincing, I totally understand. I did too. This is why I spent over a thousand hours studying humility in the Bible. At the end of my research, this is what I wrote in my journal.
What I’ve learned about humility and why it’s actually worth pursuing:
I need humility because, honestly, I’ve tried everything else, and none of it has worked. I’ve still felt anxiety about the reality of my weakness. I still fear being walked on and over. If you’re in the same spot or something like it, welcome. Hi, it’s me. It’s nice to meet you.
Excerpt from The Hidden Peace, by Joel Muddamalle, reprinted with permission.
Photo Courtesy: Thomas Nelson Publishing/Joel Muddamalle/used with permission.
Based in Charlotte, North Carolina, Joel and his wife have four children and two dogs. If he doesn’t have a theology book in his hand, you can be sure he’s either coaching one of his kids in a sport, getting roped into a reel by his wife @almostindianwife, or doing his best to keep up his hoops game on the basketball court on Tuesday nights with the guys—then going for a cold plunge. Yeah, it’s a thing. Pre-order his book The Hidden Peace: Finding the Security, Strength, and Confidence Through Humility here.