Christians can help people dealing with grief. But how? What specifically can they do?
To answer that question, it is necessary to know:
- what the Bible says to people dealing with grief
- whether or not sympathy or empathy helps people dealing with grief
- how family, friends, and churches can help those who are grieving
- resources for dealing with grief.
Let’s consider the answers to each of these questions.
What Does the Bible Say to People Dealing with Grief?
The Bible has lots to say to people who are dealing with grief. Psalms 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to those who have suffered disappointment. He saves those who are discouraged.” Those dealing with grief have suffered disappointment and are discouraged, to say the least. But there is hope: the Bible promises that God is close to them and that he saves them.
Jesus says in Matthew 5:4, “Great blessings belong to those who are sad now. God will comfort them.” Great blessings belong to those who are dealing with grief. God will comfort them.
Jesus says similar words in Luke 6:21: “Great blessings belong to you who are hungry now. You will be filled. Great blessings belong to you who are crying now. You will be happy and laughing.” Those who grieve will eventually laugh and be happy.
Jesus says later in Matthew 11:28–29, “Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest. Accept my teaching. Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest.” Jesus commands those tired from carrying a heavy burden to come to him. The people Jesus is commanding could very well be those who are grieving. He will give rest to them.
Paul, who truly knows what it means to suffer (2 Corinthians 11:23–29), writes in Romans 8:18, “We have sufferings now, but these are nothing compared to the great glory that will be given to us.” We may grieve now, but the pain of our grieving is nothing compared to the great glory that we will receive in heaven.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1:3, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the Father who is full of mercy, the God of all comfort.” God is fully merciful, the God of all comfort. He can comfort us no matter how deep, no matter how bad, the hurt is.
Psalms 30:5 states, “His anger lasts for a little while, but then his kindness brings life. The night may be filled with tears, but in the morning we can sing for joy!” While grievers may grieve now, they will eventually be able to sing for joy. Grief is temporary.
Psalms 23:4 states, “Even if I walk through a valley as dark as the grave, I will not be afraid of any danger, because you are with me. You rod and staff comfort me.” God offers comfort to those grieving, those who walk through a valley as dark as the grave.
Psalms 147:3 states, “He heals their broken hearts and bandages their wounds.” God heals the hearts of the grieving.
Does Sympathy or Empathy Help People Dealing with Grief?
Sympathy and especially empathy do help people dealing with grief. Sympathy helps because it lets the grieving person know that someone cares for them. Empathy helps because it lets the one grieving know that someone knows what it is like to be in their shoes; it lets them know that someone knows their pain. In this way, it lessens the loneliness of grief.
When Jesus’ friend Lazarus died, John 11:35 states, “Jesus cried.” Jesus grieved. He empathizes with those who grieve.
Hebrews 4:15–16 states, “Jesus, our high priest, is able to understand our weaknesses. When Jesus lived on earth, he was tempted in every way. He was tempted in the same ways we are tempted, but he never sinned. With Jesus as our high priest, we can feel free to come before God’s throne where there is grace. There we receive mercy and kindness to help us when we need it.” Jesus can understand where we are vulnerable. He does not just sympathize with those who are dealing with grief. He empathizes with them. He offers mercy and kindness to those who come to him.
How Can Family and Friends Help People Dealing with Grief?
Family and friends can help people who deal with grief in several ways.
One of these ways is praying. Romans 15:13 states, “I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace as you trust in him. Then you will have more and more hope, and it will flow out of you by the power of the Holy Spirit.” This is something we can pray for our friends and family members who are grieving. We can ask God to give them joy, peace, and hope.
Family and friends can also encourage those dealing with grief, and one way of doing that is by sharing encouraging Bible verses. Since family and friends are the closest relationships people have with one another, for the most part, family and friends should do their best to comfort those who are grieving.
Job is maybe the most famous example in the Bible of someone grieving. Job 2:11–13 states,
Job’s three friends heard about all the bad things that happened to him, so Eliphaz came from Teman, Bildad from Shuah, and Zophar from Naamah. They met together and went to comfort Job and show their sympathy. But his friends didn’t even recognize him when they first saw him in the distance! They began to cry loudly. They tore their clothes and threw dirt in the air over their heads to show how sad they were. Then they sat on the ground with Job for seven days and seven nights. They didn’t say a word, because they saw he was in so much pain.
Job’s friends, as seen in later chapters of Job, did a lot of wrong. But at this moment, they do the right thing. They show up to help their friend in crisis. They travel from all over just to be with him. They grieve with him. They are transparent. They are present. They are humble. This is how family and friends should be with those who are grieving.
How Can Churches Help People Dealing with Grief?
Churches can do a lot of the same things that family and friends can to help people dealing with grief. But churches should be able to provide even more spiritual guidance. Many churches provide biblical counseling, where trained counselors use the Bible to help grieving people.
Resources for Dealing with Grief
There are many resources for dealing with grief. The most important one is God. We can come to him freely with all our pain; he will listen and be there for us.
Another resource is the Bible, the Word of God. The Bible provides many verses for comfort. It also tells many stories about people in the Bible who dealt with grief and what helped them.
Family and friends, the closest relationships, are another great resource. There is also counseling and church, which has biblical counseling.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Drazen Zigic
Jared Salomon is a writer and editor, with a Bachelor of Science in Professional Writing from Taylor University. He is an associate product developer for Childress Ink. He writes Christian fiction, realistic fiction, and fantasy. In his free time, Jared enjoys hanging out with his friends and playing sports (especially tennis).
