My mentor passed away when I was in my early 30s. We had a close relationship, and he invested a great deal of time and wisdom into my life, shaping me as a man, Christian, and minister.
In the years that followed, I’d have dreams in which he spoke to me. These dreams seemed very real, and they significantly encouraged me. As I spoke with others, discussing these experiences, I realized very few people could relate. And I had questions of my own. Did my mentor truly visit me in dreams or was it my overactive imagination resulting from grief and missing him? Even more importantly, what does the Bible say about this?
Do loved ones visit us in dreams?
What Do People Experience When Loved Ones Visit in Dreams?
While I didn’t get much response when I shared my experience, many Christians and others do have loved ones visit them in their dreams.
Many people, regardless of their religious beliefs, find comfort and encouragement through dream experiences. Since these are loved ones who have passed away, seeing them again in such a vivid dream can bring strong emotions, and these experiences feel more real than ordinary dreams. Commonly, the loved ones appear healthy, happy, and at peace, which lessens grief. In some cases, which is even rarer, the dream can include a sense of closure if the relationship with the loved one had some unresolved conflict.
Psychologists and others who research dreams suggest these experiences come from the subconscious mind during the grief process. Dreams become a safe place for the mind to express deeper emotions or feelings of wanting to remain connected in some way through the pain involved in separation. It helps people to think the loved one remains involved, even in death.
When Christians have these experiences, they interpret the dreams with spiritual meaning or a gift from God. For example, a loved one might appear in a dream with a message of encouragement, and believers place spiritual value on their words. In addition, Christians see these visits as evidence that there is life after death, giving people hope they will see their loved ones in heaven after death. For these reasons, visits from loved ones in dreams can give people hope and comfort. Along with the comfort and hope, these visits can motivate people to continue to honor their loved one’s memory or even reconcile with other family members with whom they have unresolved conflict.
Ultimately, having a loved one visit in a dream happens across cultures and religious beliefs. Despite how an individual might view it spiritually or psychologically, or a mix of both, these dreams have strong impacts.
What Bible Verses Specifically Show Loved Ones Visiting in Dreams?
The Bible doesn’t have any examples of loved ones entering someone’s dreams after death. At the same time, Scripture gives clear support that God uses dreams to communicate with people. These dreams can be for general revelation, guidance, or prophecy. God spoke to Joseph in dreams, including warning him to run to Egypt with Mary and Jesus (Matthew 2:13). God revealed the future through dreams to people like Jacob (Genesis 28:12) and Daniel. Interestingly, with plenty of examples showing God using dreams to engage with people, at no point does a dead loved one appear in one.
The Bible provides some interesting information about what happens when people die. The Old Testament expresses death as being “gathered to one’s fathers” or "resting with the ancestors.” In Genesis 25:8, Abraham dies and is “gathered to his people.” Similar phrases are used for Jacob, Moses, and David, implying some form of life after death. Jesus speaks to this idea in Luke 16:19-31 in the Parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus. Lazarus exists, resting in “Abraham’s bosom” after his death, a type of reward and comfort. However, the rich man suffers in a place of torment. The rich man actually requests to be raised from the dead and visit his loved ones to give them a warning, but he’s denied.
With this in mind, the New Testament often describes the dead as being asleep, a type of metaphor illustrating the temporary nature of death for believers awaiting a later resurrection, which Jesus taught would happen. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “We do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” Jesus used the same idea in John 11:11 when he tells his disciples, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.” This symbol of sleep expresses some existence after death, but not active or engaging, perhaps not even conscious; although if we take Jesus’ parable at face value (possibly a stretch), Lazarus and the rich man were aware of their state.
While Scripture doesn’t give any direct support regarding loved ones visiting in dreams, it teaches the reality of life after death and offers hope through faith in Christ to live eternally in heaven and the Kingdom of God in the new heaven and earth.
What Bible Verses Could Support Loved Ones Visiting in Dreams?
Taking the whole Bible into account, some passages suggest some level of engagement is possible between the afterlife and this one.
Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.” Remember, there were no verses or chapters in the original writing, and this verse follows the famous Hebrews 11 “Hall of Faith” chapter which listed heroes of faith in the Old Testament. Therefore, the great cloud of witnesses points to the saints which went before, watching believers today on earth, and root for them to live the Kingdom as part of the greater redemptive story of faith. However, the passage doesn’t mention any interaction or dream visits.
In the Old Testament, King Saul tries to get guidance from the prophet Samuel, who had been a mentor to Saul while he lived. Saul visits a spiritual medium, or a witch, breaking his own religious law. The witch conjures Samuel’s spirit, who speaks to Saul and further condemns the king for consulting a medium. While the event revealed the dark and forbidden participation in witchcraft, Samuel does appear and communicates with the living. At the same time, this story shows an exception, and one which led to disastrous consequences for Saul.
Other places in the New Testament portray the idea of ghosts in a more positive, accepted way. When Jesus walked on water, the disciples cry out in fear and believe him to be a ghost (Matthew 14:26). In Acts 12:15, Peter was miraculously released from prison and shows up at a house church meeting, knocking on the door while they prayed, probably for him. The believers thought it might be Peter’s “angel” or spirit. While the idea of ghosts might have been accepted in that culture, it doesn’t affirm the actual existence of them, especially since in these two incidents, they were wrong.
These passages give a hint to the possibility of some awareness and engagement of the dead with the living. At the same time, it becomes a stretch for Christians to believe the Bible supports any idea of loved ones visiting us in dreams.
What Does This Mean for Christians Today?
We can’t know for sure if loved ones actually visit us in dreams. These dreams can feel important and meaningful, but as disciples of Christ, we don’t operate by feelings and what we want to be true. Therefore, we must treat these experiences with skepticism and discernment.
We do know the Bible only tells us how God himself speaks to us in dreams, possibly using an angel, but never a dead person. Job 33:14-16 declares that God speaks in different ways, including dreams. “For God speaks in one way, and in two … in a dream, in a vision of the night.” It’s notable how God’s messages are given through creative and various means, but biblically, never through the dead.
Christians should use discernment when interpreting a loved one visiting a dream. 2 Corinthians 5:8 expresses how believers who die are “at home with the Lord,” and Deuteronomy 18:10-12 clearly prohibits any interaction with the dead, speaking directly to the account of King Saul and Samuel. With the psychology of our mind and the desire for these experiences to be real, we also have a spiritual enemy who could use emotional moments to lead us astray in doctrine or action. We must remain committed to what God has revealed to us through the Spirit and the written Word of God.
In love, we don’t need to condemn ourselves or others for having the experience. They can serve as examples of God’s comfort and love toward us. We should be glad for a glimpse of peace. However, we can’t elevate a loved one’s visit as communicating absolute truth. The Scripture tells us to test all the spirits, even prophecy, by the Holy Spirit and the Bible (1 John 4:1), and this includes experiences we have biblical evidence for, like visions and oracles. Without any biblical support for loved ones visiting us in dreams, we definitely can’t use them as any guide.
God calls us to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the teachings of Jesus, not personal experiences. John 16:13 reminds us that “when the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.” While a dream might give some inspiration, directly hearing and responding to the voice of God in the Spirit must be the ultimate priority.
So, how should I approach my experiences with my mentor? I definitely appreciate having a time to see him again, to interact with him in a happy and encouraging way. Feeling such love and comfort was great. At the same time, he taught me to follow Christ alone, and I honor him by making sure I hear God’s voice and test every spirit and experience through the Bible, the Spirit of truth, and the spiritual wisdom of the faith community with whom I live life.
Peace.
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