If you are like me, when you hear people talk about fasting, you almost instinctively recoil. As a mother caring for six kids in my home, engaging in anything that at face value appears to make my life harder is a solid, hard pass.
But then, my body started to struggle. My patience began to wane. And my old habits were no longer serving me as I had imagined. My chocolate left me with an aching stomach and 15 extra pounds. My coffee inspired an overcharged Mom rather than a patient one. My wine was leaving me unrested and unwell. The sugary treats failed to offer the comfort I was hoping for. My mind and body were on the struggle bus, and my children were the chief targets of my physical and emotional instability.
Full disclosure: The fast that I have had to embrace was more of a forced one than an agreed-upon one, but nonetheless, it has changed my mind, body, and soul from the inside out.
Over the past few years, stress and these seemingly harmless practices led to me developing an autoimmune condition that means managing a lot of pain in my body as well as struggles with anxiety and depression. Traditional medication was not making me better. My patience for my family and ability to handle all God has given me were fading. So, fasting has been my last resort.
I’ve slowly let go of my favorite “crutches for comfort” and replaced them with nourishing practices. I gave up wine, weaned off my antidepressants, and swapped coffee for some hot morning tea. Then, the real hard work happened. I let go of sugar, dairy, and gluten. I reduced my carbs, focusing on vegetables, lean meat, and some nuts, and hoping to feel healthy again.
This process and practice have sometimes been “stressful,” but not more stressful than feeling my mind and body spiral out of control. Alongside giving up easy foods and empty carbs, I replaced nighttime Netflix binging with prayer and deep breathing before bed. I have added morning and evening walks in hopes of keeping my stress better managed. Instead of spending money on dinners out, I’m spending it on Chiropractors and Acupuncturists.
Of course, this is my story of letting go of what most of us feel is “normal” as parents. There is no one-size-fits-all way to choose nourishment over quick fixes. Stress management over regular parental combustion. Intentionality over a drive-by faith. And even with all the aforementioned giving up of things that were leaving me less equipped as a parent, I’m sad to report that I have not achieved parental perfection. Apologies are still a necessary part of my ‘Mom tool belt’. Still, thankfully, I feel better able to recover when those not-so-pretty moments arise because my nervous system is not continually living on the edge of complete breakdown as it once was.
Fasting Is a Powerful Spiritual Practice
The moral of my story is that being willing to set aside our lust for easy pleasures in favor of learned discipline not only enables our minds and bodies the capacity to parent peacefully, but is also a powerful spiritual practice that can help us break the strongholds that often hold our families back.
Isaiah 58:6 says, “Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?”
Many of us parents are stuck with bonds of wickedness that hold us back from loving our families the way that we desire. I fancy myself a pretty good parent, but I know that I have moments in which anger becomes me, in which patience is the last thing I show to my people, and in which anxiety defines how I see the future. These are strongholds that hold me back from being the Mom who daily shares God’s love with my children the way that He calls me to.
Wicked may feel like a strong word, but if we are honest, that’s what lives in our hearts. We need the Holy Spirit at work to break the power our wicked, sinful nature has on us. Parenting is holy work, and it’s also the most challenging work. We better believe the enemy is doing all he can to aggravate the future of our families. We must be on guard against sin; fasting is one way to confront and break its power in our lives.
Fasting Aligns Our Hearts with God's and Is a Testimony to Our Families
Matthew 6:18 says, “That your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
God is concerned with our hearts as parents; fasting is one way to align our hearts with His. He is pleased when we deny ourselves the things that bring us easy pleasure because we seek His Kingdom first.
Others may not see our work when we fast, but our kids do.
Living with nourishment, intentionality, health, and patience as the goal may be a secret to others, but those who live in your house will notice your effort. Your fasting practice is a testimony to your family. Overcoming my anxiety and depression, one carrot at a time, it seems, is an observable testimony for my children.
My kids know that Mommy doesn’t eat that, Mommy needs to exercise, Mommy is overstimulated and needs some quiet, because I am learning to show them that I am working hard to love them and God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. That means everything I do in the day is a part of my testimony.
If I say I love God but then resign myself to a stressed-out, unhealthy, overstimulated body, my kids won’t believe me. They see the honest and complete me, and I know that so much more is caught in parenting than taught.
Being more open about these real needs in my life by setting boundaries around what feels best for me is also so freeing. I’m still a work in progress, but learning to be honest about my struggles to keep my mind and body in a healthy state is revolutionary. I have more freedom as I learn to live within these new confines and acknowledge my limits. When I can say I’m hitting a personal wall, I avoid those Momma meltdown moments. Fasting is helping me better hear my body, a Temple from the Lord, and honor its messages; I love everyone in my home much better.
The invitation God gives us as parents is to surrender our habits to Him. While fasting can feel daunting to start, as we embrace discipline, we make room for God’s Spirit to work more freely in our lives. We loosen the chains that hold us back from parenting with God’s love, wisdom, and grace. We also honor the bodies he has given us while living as a holy testimony for our children.
Photo Credit: @Unsplash/Thiago Cerqueira
