All of us need a little bit of sunshine in our lives each day. Oftentimes, we think we cannot add sunshine into someone’s life unless we are also happy, full of joy, and beaming.
This isn’t true, as we can often add sunshine into other people’s lives while we are struggling with something ourselves. As someone who struggles with depression, I can still add sunshine to someone’s life even if I might feel like a storm cloud, and you can, too.
1. Grab a Coffee or Tea with Them
One way to add sunshine into someone’s life is to take them out for coffee or tea. This small gesture can make your friend feel appreciated and cared about. Most people enjoy coffee or tea and by spending time with them, you will be adding some sunshine into their life.
Even just having a small conversation with them as you enjoy your beverages can make a world of difference to someone.
Even if your friend doesn’t appear to be struggling, it doesn’t mean they aren’t. It could be that they are hiding their feelings and emotions for the purpose of not feeling like a burden. Your friend is your friend for a reason, and it is good to be there for them.
In fact, since you are their friend, you should be able to tell when they are feeling down or need some encouragement in their life.
Whenever you notice a change in their tone, a gap in between your messages, or them becoming more distant, it is time to add a little sunshine to their life and reach out to them.
2. Plan an Event to Do with Them
A second way to add sunshine to someone’s life is to plan an event to do with them. This can be anything from taking a walk around a park or going to see a movie. Whatever your friend enjoys or likes to do is what you should consider doing.
Since you are seeking to add sunshine to their life, avoid picking something that only you want to do. Be selfless and choose to do something that interests them.
Maybe your friend enjoys painting, then take them to an art center or paint a picture with them. It could be that your friend enjoys reading. Take them to a bookstore or start a book club with them.
All of these small acts of sunshine can really brighten your friend's day and know that they are cared about. If you choose to do the opposite and avoid planning an event with them or spending time with them, it could make them feel even more down or as though they don’t matter.
3. Have a Real Conversation with Them
A third way to add sunshine to someone’s life is to have a real conversation with them. What I mean by this is that you need to have a raw conversation and be genuine in your feelings. Avoid small talk and choose to talk about the things that matter.
If your friend is struggling, it is highly possible they have a lot of things they want to talk about. It is best to let them talk and truly listen to them. Don’t minimize their feelings and don’t act as though their emotions are invalid.
The worst thing you could do is invalidate the feelings of your friend. This will only cause them to become more distant from you or choose to keep you on the surface level.
Once you have been placed on the surface level, it can be hard for your friend to let you back in again. Since they saw you minimized and invalidated their feelings, they are not going to be open to sharing their feelings again.
As human beings, we tend to only share our deep feelings with those who care. If someone proves to us that our feelings don’t matter, we are not going to make the same mistake again of sharing our feelings with them.
For many people, this one-time instance of someone minimizing and invalidating their feelings could cause them to continue to push down their emotions. It can be hard to deal with emotions as an individual once we start pushing them down and burying them deep.
4. Buy Them a Gift
A fourth way to add sunshine to someone’s life is to buy them a gift. Some people might feel really cared about and loved when someone buys them a gift. Especially for those who have the love language of gifts, it can really make their day by gifting them with a present.
When you choose a present for them, think uniquely. Don’t get them something that is basic, such as a water bottle or a pair of slippers. If you are truly their friend, you should know what kind of things they like and what interests them.
Maybe if your friend loves dolphins, buy them a plush dolphin, a notebook with dolphins on it, or a necklace that has a dolphin design on it. When you pick out something that is unique to them, it can make them feel much more cared about and add sunshine to their life.
If you wanted, you could also include a handwritten note to brighten their day attached to their gift. This will be going the extra mile and will help them feel even more cared about.
As the person trying to bring sunshine into someone’s life, this can really help them and bring them out of a dark place.
5. Be There for Them
A fifth way to add sunshine to someone’s life is to be there for them. When I say to be there for them, I mean truly be there for them. Don't just sit there and not pay attention to what they are saying.
Be intentional about listening and making sure your friend knows that they matter. Even if you might have had a long day, give your full attention to your friend and be there for them.
Listen to them and let them know through your words as well as your actions that you are there for them. If you are fake or don't truly mean what you are saying, your friend will be able to tell.
Most people can tell when someone is only pretending to care about them. Being there for them means being there during the good and the bad times. It is often during the bad times that your friends need you the most.
You can add a ray of sunshine into your friend's day by genuinely being there for them. Call them, send them a text, or meet them in person. Go out of your way to show them that they matter to you.
True friends are there for each other and they don't see brightening their day as an inconvenience. If you are having a hard time allotting time for your friend, it could be you are not being a good friend to them.
If this is true, work on being a real friend and then try to start bringing sunshine into their day. One has to earn trust with their friend before they can start brightening their day.
In time, your friend will be able to see that you care for them, and they will appreciate you going the extra mile to make them smile. Be there for them truly, and you are sure to be a source of sunshine in their day.
For further reading:
5 Ways to Celebrate Your Loved Ones
Prayer for Friends: Pray for Strength and Healing of Friends
How to Be Wise When Choosing Your Friends
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