I’ve always been a planner. In fact, I still use a paper calendar. Even with all the technological advances, I find myself writing down my plans in color-coded detail in a beautiful decorative agenda.
I’ve always thrived on structure and predictability, finding comfort in knowing what comes next. As a teacher, my days were filled with lesson plans, classroom activities, and the joy of seeing my students grow and learn. I had my path neatly laid out, and I loved where it was leading. Life looked and felt good– things felt stable.
But in a moment, everything changed. My mother died, and with her passing, my life seemed to unravel.
Suddenly, the plans I had made felt irrelevant and hollow. Grief consumed me. I found myself questioning everything I had once held dear. I felt lost. I felt different, like I had been set adrift without a map or compass. Like I had been picked up and placed in foreign land– lost.
Amid the turmoil and in the depths of my mourning, Proverbs 16:9 was sent to me as a piece of hope and inspiration: "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." At first, these words felt almost mocking. How could any of this be part of God’s plan? How could this plan be justified when so many people were hurting, when a life had ended. My path, which had once felt so clear, so easy, was now shrouded in confusion and pain. I felt like I was walking backward, walking aimlessly– my steps uncertain and my heart heavy.
Over time, as I wrestled with my grief and became inquisitive about God’s promises, I began to see this verse in a new light. I realized that even with a completely rewritten future, God was with me, guiding my steps—even when I didn’t understand or agree with where those steps would lead. In my eyes, my life had felt unfairly restructured. It felt like it had been changed and altered in the harshest of ways. The pain had made me unable to comprehend what God knew, even when I was in disbelief.
He knew, and He was prepared, though it didn’t feel like that at first.
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We are all wired to envision our futures, dream, plan, and chase goals. But sometimes, life takes unexpected turns that force us to reevaluate. Sometimes, life has us feeling like things have been destroyed when, in reality, they’re being rebuilt and repurposed into the reality that God knew would find us.
In those dark days, hope seemed distant and incomprehensible while trying to make sense of my life– a life now motherless. It took time, prayer, and a lot of tears, but I began to understand that God wasn’t punishing me or my mother. He hadn’t forgotten my mother; He welcomed her home. He wasn’t abandoning me; He was redirecting me. My future looked different. My plans had changed, but His purpose for my life had not. During my grief, I began to see that life is full of beginnings and endings, all known by Him—some big, some small. And while His plans are good, that doesn’t mean they won’t sting or be easy to accept or understand.
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It’s hard to trust God when life feels out of control when it seems our plans are falling apart without our consent. In the depths of my struggles, I had to learn to trust that God was still working, even in the chaos and heartbreak. Proverbs 16:9 reminded me that while I may plan my journey, it is ultimately the Lord who establishes my steps. I need to trust in those steps and continue taking them.
When we feel like things are cloudy and hard to focus on, we must understand that God sees the bigger picture. He knows what we need more than we do, and sometimes, that means walking with us down a path we never expected, yet one He knew would come.
In my grief, I realized that trusting Him doesn’t mean ignoring the pain or pretending it doesn’t hurt. It means believing that even when my plans are disrupted, He is still crafting a story far more beautiful than I could ever imagine. Every detour, every unexpected turn, is a part of His divine design, leading me closer to where I am meant to be, even if I cannot yet see the destination—and especially when it’s a destination that looks different than the one I planned for.
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If you find yourself in a season where your plans have been upended, where life feels like it’s shattering, I want to encourage you: God is still establishing your steps. He is still walking with you. He is not surprised by the changes in your life; He is not caught off guard by your grief, heartbreak, confusion, or disappointment. His plans for you are still good, even when they don’t feel like it, and especially when they don’t align with your own.
Take comfort in knowing that God’s direction and guidance are not dependent on our understanding. He knows the way forward, even when we don’t. Trust that He is leading you, step by step, through the uncertainty and toward a future that He has lovingly prepared for you.
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Looking back, years after my mother passed and grief became a new companion, I see now that He used that season of mourning to help me grow, to deepen my faith, and to open doors I never would have considered. He let grief be my teacher and loss be my drive to make a difference.
My plans may have changed without my consent, but God’s purpose has remained constant. That was a profound truth to accept and one we should all strive to trust.
If you are facing a change you didn’t choose and a challenge you weren’t prepared for, remember that God is still at work. Trust that every step, even the uncertain ones, is leading you closer to His purpose. Hold on to Proverbs 16:9 and know that the Lord is faithfully establishing your steps and, even bolder, walking with you in them.
"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." - Proverbs 16:9
God is guiding you—sometimes down paths you never imagined, but always toward a future filled with His hope and purpose. He sees beyond our limited vision and knows where we truly belong. Trust Him in the journey, knowing that there are no coincidences in His perfect plan.
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