Proverbs is an incredible book that was written by King Solomon, Son of David. It outlines the importance of good decision-making. It addresses biblical wisdom and discusses moral behavior.
Solomon outlines his intentions in writing Proverbs 1, where he says: it was written for gaining wisdom and instruction, for doing what is right and fair.
But He finishes that little portion of Scripture by saying: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
This little bit of information is helpful for us to determine what Solomon is saying in Proverbs 18:24.
What Is the Context of Proverbs 18:24?
Proverbs 18 focuses on wickedness and justice, safety found in the Lord and the power of the tongue, amidst more, but it then lands on the following verse:
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
There are many assumptions made in life on the best way to be a friend. Psychologists have studied these topics, designing for us “pillars of friendships” or “the 3 C’s,” etc. But it seems God has been focused on relationships for longer than any of us realized.
If we look right to the start of Scripture and read the creation story, God is quoted as saying in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Adam had everything he ever needed, but he didn’t have a companion, so God created woman as the answer to creation's first problem.
It is clear from this that God created us with relationships in mind. We were never designed to be alone, or lonely.
As it turns out, science, medicine, and psychology have caught up with Scripture and are now proving that loneliness can impact our physical health causing an increase in blood pressure, a decrease in immunity, and an increase in stress levels. None of these things need to be the case if we were to look after each other as we should.
Nonetheless, inside this book on godly wisdom, we see this verse that talks specifically about friendship. I wanted to note from the outset that it speaks first of “unreliable friends.”
Other versions state:
- A man of many companions (ESV).
- A man who has friends must himself be friendly (NKJV).
- A Person of too many friends comes to ruin (NASB).
It seems here the context is found in the fact that lots of people around you do not make for wholesome or healthy relationships. It is not good to spread ourselves so thin that our relationships send us to ruin.
Rather, we should be a people who strive after wholesome relationships with others, even if that means having only two or three friends in our corner.
I think of Jesus in this example and if we study his life, we see he had many followers, he had 12 disciples, but then He had three close friends, Peter, James, and John.
These three men went places the others didn’t. If Jesus placed boundaries around His friendships and friend circles, shouldn’t we?
I love that Solomon states that unreliable friends will send us to ruin. I am sure we have all heard the old Spanish Proverb, “Show me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.”
I would 100% agree with this statement, and I believe Proverbs 13:20 would approve of it also. This verse states: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Who we choose to spend our time with really does impact who we become.
Perverse people, according to Proverbs 16, cause conflict, and gossip to separate friends, chapter 16 goes on to say that violent people entice and lead down poor paths. We need to be very careful of who our friends, examples, and closest confidants are.
I think of the prodigal son story of Luke 15. When he left his father's home, wealthy and in a good place, he had many people around him, all seeking some of his wealth.
None of them imparted wisdom in telling him to slow down and think before he spent, and so his wealth ran dry.
What he found was that these people were not friends. They were acquaintances because when the road got bumpy, and things were not going well, they deserted him, leaving him desiring even what the pig would eat.
How Does This Apply to Us Today?
Friends are those who stick by you even when the road is hard. And so, we come to the second part of this verse, “But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Allen P. Ross states in reference to this verse, Proverbs 18:24, that “it is better to have one good, faithful friend than numerous unreliable ones.”
I don’t know if it is the introvert in me who wants to cheer when I read this assessment or if it is just the simplicity of living over three decades on earth and realizing that some of my best friends have been present with me in some of my hardest seasons.
When I’m walking in the valley, and my phone rings, and a friend has checked in, or I am walking my kids through hard times, and my door knocks, and a friend has gifted us kindly.
It is there we realize that some of our friends are the kind we never want to lose. Friends who support us and who we can support in hard and joyful seasons.
I know the likelihood of Solomon nodding toward Jesus in these words is slim, but yet I just cannot help but see that this verse is the characteristic of Jesus.
He promises us that He will never leave us (Deuteronomy 31) and that “even in the valley of the shadow of death… he will be with us” (Psalm 23). He promises to guide us when we have lost our way (Psalm 32).
In all of the worst moments of life, Jesus sticks with us and beside us, continually sanctifying us, and pursuing us with goodness and mercy.
It would be impossible on this side of heaven to have a friend as good to us as Jesus is, but there are many folks out there who have some of these glorious attributes and would love to spend time with you, loving you and being present with you.
I wanted to leave you with two last things: believer, who are you loving and sticking with even in the hard seasons? Sometimes, having a friend is being a friend, as this verse in the KJV states. Maybe it is worth considering: who could I be a friend to?
What Does This Mean?
Lastly, if you are not in relationship with Jesus, may I leave with you the words of the great Spurgeon:
“Now I have a question to ask: that question I ask of every man and every woman in this place, and of every child too — Is Jesus Christ your friend? Have you a friend at court — at heaven’s court? Is the Judge of quick and dead your friend? Can you say that you love him, and has he ever revealed himself in the way of love to you? Dear reader, do not answer that question for thy neighbor; answer it for thyself. Peer or peasant, rich or poor, learned or illiterate, this question is for each of you, therefore, ask it. Is Christ my friend?”
Friend, do you know Jesus as your friend? Are you heaven-bound and awaiting the glorious return of Christ, when our earth becomes renewed and our souls are finally at one with God, in a place of no sickness, no strife, no sin, and no darkness?
I sure hope so. But if not, please connect with a local church. They would love to lead you to Jesus!
For further reading:
5 Ways to Create a Christian Community
How to Be Wise When Choosing Your Friends
What Is the Importance of Having a Spiritual Family?
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