In the movie version of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry fights against Voldemort’s attempt to possess him. In an intense moment, Harry tells the evil wizard, “You're the one who is weak. You will never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you."
The love of Harry’s friends helped him in his time of need, something that Voldemort would never know because his selfish quest for power had left him friendless.
Scripture includes the importance of friendship. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, the author demonstrates how it is better for people to have friends than to be alone. At the end of a section listing the positives of having friends, the author of Ecclesiastes uses a practical example.
He wrote, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). There is strength in friendship.
To understand the meaning of Ecclesiastes 4:12, we need to examine the context of the passage and the surrounding verses. Then, we can better discern how this Bible verse applies to our lives and how we can live out this truth from God’s Word.
Biblical Context and Background
Ecclesiastes is a poetic book and classified as wisdom literature. Many commentators and biblical scholars believe Solomon authored this book, but the exact identity of the author is unknown.
Throughout the 12 chapters, the author describes the futility he sees “under the sun” and the meaninglessness of life on earth (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3).
He concludes that everything is meaningless apart from God, which is why people need to remember their Maker and serve Him (Ecclesiastes 12:1, 13-14).
In listing areas of futility, the author remarks on how meaningless it is for a person to be alone or to choose not to cooperate with others.
He wrote, “Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: there was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. ‘For whom am I toiling,’ he asked, ‘and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?’ This too is meaningless — a miserable business!” (Ecclesiastes 4:7-8).
All the man’s work was futile because he had no one to share his wealth with and no one to leave it to after death. He had wealth, but he was not content because he was alone and struggling for the mere sake of accumulating riches.
In contrast, the author stated how two are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9). Two people receive more for their efforts, have someone to help them if they fall, can stay warm together, and have more power to resist an opponent (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). As good as two people are together, three people are even better, just like a strong cord.
Therefore, the Book of Ecclesiastes emphasizes the wisdom of having a friend. Alone, a person works for himself and finds no joy in his toil, even if his work brings wealth. However, the person who has a friend finds practical help and comfort as well as companionship. Sharing with others is a strength and virtue.
Strength in Numbers
Based on Ecclesiastes 4:12, we know that there is strength in numbers. A three-strand cord is stronger than a one-strand cord. When individuals have friends who stand with them, they become stronger and more useful.
In practical terms, people benefit from having friends. The author of Ecclesiastes emphasizes this when contrasting the man who is alone with the person who has a friend (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
We can observe this in life, knowing that we finish work more quickly when we cooperate with others. Furthermore, others can assist us when we are in need, just like the person who is cold, fallen and hurt, or overpowered by an enemy (Ecclesiastes 4:10-12).
Having others in our lives who we trust is also beneficial to us spiritually. For instance, when David hid from Saul in the desert, his friend Jonathan went out to meet him.
Jonathan strengthened David and reminded him of the Lord’s faithfulness (1 Samuel 23:16-18). Their friendship models the value of companionship and how friends can help us grow in faith.
Although some people think they are better off alone, Scripture emphasizes the strength that comes with friendship.
Individuals who are alone with no friends or family miss the practical and spiritual benefits of friendship. They also miss an opportunity to love others as God loves them (Mark 12:30-31; John 15:12). Isolation from others is spiritually and emotionally unhealthy.
Made for Community
God created humans to live in community and to have relationships with others. At creation, God commented that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
He made Eve for Adam when He saw that the man had no suitable helper (Genesis 2:20-22). Although sin has negatively impacted relationships, humans still benefit from having other people in their lives.
Jesus set up His church as a community of believers. Together, the early Christians regularly met for encouragement and to be equipped to live out their faith in everyday life.
The Book of Acts reveals how the early church devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and met in the temple courts and individual homes for instruction and fellowship (Acts 2:42-47). Having a new family in Christ encouraged the young church and motivated them to serve the Lord.
As the Apostles and other Christians traveled throughout the world, carrying the good news, they made disciples and formed communities of believers (churches). Although the local churches found strength within their own members, they also helped the collective Body of Christ.
For example, the Macedonian churches gave generously to their fellow believers in Jerusalem (Romans 15:26; 2 Corinthians 8:1-2). Even though they were suffering and poor, they gave sacrificially from a place of love to help their fellow Christians in need (2 Corinthians 8:3-5).
Therefore, Scripture urges believers to “not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near” (Hebrews 10:25, NLT).
When we meet as the Body of Christ, we are strengthened and encouraged to live our lives in service of Jesus. Christians are stronger together as they serve as the hands and feet of Christ in a broken world.
Why Does This Matter?
At times, people are tempted to withdraw from others and live in isolation. Experiencing hurt from others or being influenced by a culture of individualism, someone might decide they are better off alone than with others.
However, the Bible teaches that friendship makes us stronger like a firm and solid cord of three strands. Alone, we have no one to help us, but we benefit practically and spiritually when we have trusted friends by our side. Mutual help and love overflow when we invest in relationships.
God designed us to have a relationship with Him and others. He set up His church as a community of believers, made to fellowship together and equip each other for service (Ephesians 4:11-12).
Cooperation within the church enables us to be more effective witnesses for Christ. Having friends that we trust is a strength, not a weakness.
For further reading:
Is it True Where Two or Three Are Gathered Jesus Is There with Them?
What Is the Importance of Having a Spiritual Family?
A Godly Friendship Revealed Through Jonathan in the Bible
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