Many of us feel far behind in life. We open up different social media channels and see our friends and family getting married, starting a family, and purchasing their first home. While we can be happy for our friends, many can compare ourselves to them. This is because we want to be where they are in life. If you have felt like this, know that you are not alone.
As women, we should be further along in life than where we currently find ourselves. While this is common, it is not pleasant, and it can make us feel depressed. I was talking to a friend I have known since elementary school recently, and she was telling me that she felt overwhelmed, stressed, and depressed about life since she wasn’t where she wanted to be.
She had seen all her friends get married, but she was the only one in one relationship, and it didn’t last. Many of us find ourselves in the same situation, where we regret decisions in the past or grieve our present life. Although many people within the church would make us feel bad for feeling the way we do, there is no reason to beat yourself up for your feelings. Your feelings are valid, regardless of what others say or think.
You Are Worthy
If you are feeling behind in life, I want you to remember the truth that you are worthy. You are part of God’s people, who are dearly loved (Colossians 3:12). Never forget this truth. It is easy to be drowned out by our fears and negative thoughts, but we have to fight against these things. Feeding into the fears and negative thoughts will only cause you more problems in the long run.
Life is too short to be spent at war with yourself. You are worthy, you are dearly loved, and you are God’s chosen possession. Don’t let anyone or anything tell you otherwise. Your feelings in life are valid, and you need to hold a place for them; however, it is also important to remember that your life is unique. Only you can fulfill the life that God has for you.
In this way, you are not behind in life. You are following the plan God has for you. It might seem as though you are behind, but you are not. Your friends and family members might be doing things you want to do, or they might be in a place you want to be but know that these things will happen in God’s timing. If it is within God’s will for these things to happen for you, trust in the peace that they will happen.
Don’t Compare Yourself
It is also important not to compare yourself to others. Most of us have been stuck in comparing ourselves to others. This is very easy in the modern day due to social media. We can see the lives of our friends, family, and celebrities with just a touch of the screen. If it would be better for your mental well-being to take a break from these apps and social media, it might be time to step away.
However, if that is not doable for you, try to speak out loud when you see these posts. Instead of dwelling on your wants and desires, talk out loud. When you see a post of a friend getting married, starting a family, or buying a house, say out loud, “I’m happy for them. I acknowledge my sadness and feelings of feeling behind in life, and I’ll hold space for them. I trust that God has the perfect plan for me and that it will far outweigh any of my hopes and dreams.”
By simply saying these words out loud, it will help redirect your focus. Rather than falling into a cycle of self-hate and depression, you can think of the positive—God. We often overlook the beauty and majesty of our wonderful Creator. He has great things in store for us, but we must wait for them. Paul reminds us, “However, as it is written: ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’—the things God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).
As Paul tells us in this passage, God has beautiful things in store for us. Wait on God’s timing and know He is writing a beautiful story for your life. There will be times of pain, suffering, and heartache, but there will also be times of happiness, beauty, and hope. Even if you are only experiencing the former right now, rest in the promise that goodness will come. The store will have a break, and light will shine again.
God Has a Unique Plan for Your Life
As mentioned, God has a unique plan for your life that only you can fulfill. Maybe your life won’t look identical to a friend’s or a family member’s, but it is still your unique and beautiful life. Within Christian communities, many people believe that to be happy, you have to be married, have a family, and have a white picket fence. This is also known as the “American dream.” While nothing is wrong with wanting to find the one, get married, and have a comfortable life, nowhere in the Bible, do we promise this.
Jesus died for us to have an abundant life, but this is abundant life in Him (John 10:10). By knowing Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you have already been given everything. These life concerns, comparisons, and challenges can cause us to lose sight of this. Try to focus on all the blessings you have in Christ and know that your relationship with Him will endure forever. The social media posts you see will not endure forever.
It is also worthwhile to remember that your friends and family are having their own struggles. Even though their social media posts might look flawless, it does not mean their life is flawless. They have their struggles, insecurities, and problems, just like us. Therefore, just because someone looks like they are “living the dream” does not mean they truly are. It is more helpful to take a realistic approach and not compare your life to someone’s social media account.
The plan God has for your life is just for you. This might not include marriage, a family, or owning a house, but it could also be beautiful. It could look like serving on the mission field, starting an orphanage, or working at an animal rehabilitation center. Your life is unique, and God has a beautiful purpose for it. Other things could come later, such as a spouse and a family, but do your best to focus on the now and enjoy your present life situation.
It is much more enjoyable to find joy in your life now rather than to look at all of the things you are missing. Take time to find joy and happiness in the little things you may have overlooked for a few years. Rediscover joy in these things and in the life God has given you. You are not behind in life—you are right on time.
