Some prayers are fervent and persistent. We keep returning to the same concerns, desperate to see God’s answer in our lives. Such requests could continue for an extended season or even a lifetime.
The Lord does not mind if we come to Him with the same requests. However, a problem arises if we keep repeating the same words or prayers with the hope that God will pay more attention to us. Or that we must say our prayers the same way, or the Lord will be mad at us and refuse to answer our petitions. To the average onlooker, we may seem to be devoted to prayer. Yet, we have become obsessive.
So, how do we balance our prayers so that they are persistent without being needlessly repetitive or obsessive? To find an answer, we need to look no further than Scripture.
Understanding Prayer: Should We Look Like the Persistent Widow or the Obsessive Babbler?
Jesus gave many lessons about prayer during His earthly ministry. One of these is found in the parable of the persistent widow. Through this story, Jesus showed the disciples that “they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1, NIV). The widow in the parable kept returning to a judge to ask for justice. After a while, the judge grew weary of her constant requests. He granted her justice because of her persistence.
We should not think that God is like the judge in the story. We will never wear out God through our prayers. Instead, the emphasis in the parable is on emulating the widow who persevered and kept asking despite the delays in receiving justice. As Jesus said, “Will not God grant justice to his elect who cry out to him day and night? Will he delay helping them?” (Luke 18:7, CSB). Based on the character of God, we know that He will carry out justice (Luke 18:8). He will not delay as the judge did in the parable.
With this emphasis on persistence, we might think that obsessively repeating the same prayers is permitted. Didn’t Scripture tell us to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)? Yet, even as Jesus encouraged us not to give up in prayer and Scripture tells us to pray continually, our Lord never encouraged mindless or compulsive praying. During His Sermon on the Mount, Christ said, “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again” (Matthew 6:7, NLT). The Father already knows our needs – we do not have to keep multiplying words to make our requests known (Matthew 6:8).
As believers, we should follow the example of the persistent widow, not the obsessive babbler. God is not impressed by our abundant words, nor is He motivated to answer our prayers quicker if we keep saying the same things constantly. What the Lord values are honest prayers that come from a relationship with Him. He knows what we need, but He wants us to come to Him. We should persevere in our requests, trusting Him to answer.
Communion with Him is the goal, not completing a ritualistic task.
How Do I Know if I am Obsessively Praying?
Offering the same requests to God, repeating ourselves at times, or spending long amounts of time in prayer is not the problem. Instead, issues arise when we obsessively pray, thinking that God is pleased with our many words or excessive prayers. The Gentiles or pagans during New Testament times thought they would be heard because of their repetitiveness. Christ’s teaching shows that this is not true.
To determine if we have fallen into compulsive praying, consider the following:
- Are we praying for the sake of praying, merely saying words?
- Do we think God demands for us to repeat ourselves numerous times before He answers?
- Are we known for inclining toward obsessive or addictive behaviors?
- Do we think that repetitive prayers earn us favor with God?
- Is prayer a task we dread because it causes us anxiety if we do not say the “right” words?
Although anyone could become obsessed with praying, especially if someone thinks he or she must do so to satisfy the Lord, we need to be aware that some believers with this issue could be suffering from religious OCD (also known as scrupulosity). For these individuals, obsessiveness and the compulsion to pray are due to a real and distressing mental health problem known as obsessive-compulsive disorder, of which scrupulosity is a subtype.
Christians experiencing this type of OCD should not feel guilty about their excessive prayers but instead, seek out treatment and therapy from mental health providers. God, in His grace, has given us doctors and medical advancements to help us when we are struggling.
Ways to Be Prayerful Without Being Obsessive
If someone engages in obsessive prayers that are unrelated to OCD, then there are steps they can take to focus on being prayerful instead of excessive. The most important one is recognizing that the number or length of prayers has no bearing on a person’s salvation. We are not saved or washed clean of our sins through offering constant petitions to the Lord. Individuals are saved by placing faith in Jesus’ death and resurrection, not by doing works (Ephesians 2:8-9).
God also does not pay more attention to us or find favor in us if we compulsively pray. When we are saved, we enter an eternal relationship with the Lord (John 17:3). He delights in us coming to Him in prayer to spend time with Him, just as a parent enjoys conversing with a child. That child does not earn favor or merit because he or she said the right words or spent hours saying the same things. Instead, the parent delights in just communing with the child. The same is true for us. If we have trusted in Christ for salvation, then we are children of God (1 John 3:2). He does not love us more or less according to the prayers we pray.
To break away from obsessive praying, we can try changing the way we talk to God. We could start praying aloud if we are prone to repeat the same things in our heads continuously. Or we can challenge ourselves to talk with God as we would a friend, with honesty, closeness, and familiarity. Doing so would help us see that the Lord is not waiting for us to slip up and say a wrong word. Christ is our friend who desires to commune with us.
What Does This Mean?
With all the emphasis in Scripture about being persistent and praying continually, we can easily assume that a preoccupation with prayers is a normal part of the Christian life. When our discussions with God turn into rituals to follow, though, something is not right. We begin crossing the fine line between being prayerful and obsessive.
If someone is engaging in prayer as a compulsion that causes distress unless done correctly, then the person needs to be evaluated to see if they need treatment for OCD. However, for excessive, ritualistic praying that is unrelated to OCD, we need to return to what the Bible says and understand that prayer is not something that earns us favor with God. As believers in Christ, we talk to Him because we have an everlasting relationship with Him.
Following the Bible and regularly shifting our prayer routine can help us step back over the line into the prayerful zone.
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