You Can Thrive as a Single Adult

Whitney Hopler

Single adults can be made to feel as if they're second-class citizens in our couples-oriented world. But if you're single, that's a part of God's plan for your life right now. There's no need to feel ashamed or to put things off until you're married. You can have a full life as a single adult, and God wants you to do so.

Here are some ways you can thrive as a single adult:

• Realize that you may never get married, and accept that if it turns out to be God's will for your life. Know that while there's nothing wrong with praying for spouse if you desire one, you shouldn't bank your future on an expectation of getting married someday. Decide to trust in God's wisdom to act in ways that are truly best for you.
• Understand that the state of being single isn't any worse than being married; it's just different. Realize that people in bad marriages can be more unhappy than singles. View your single state as God's current gift to you. Think about the blessings you currently enjoy in your life, and take time to thank God for them. Consider the freedoms that your single lifestyle affords you, and take advantage of them.
• Don't procrastinate on following your dreams and living an abundant life. Take that trip you've been thinking about, and don't be afraid to go out by yourself to enjoy a movie or dinner at a fancy restaurant. Serve enthusiastically in ways God leads you. Make plans and set goals. Consider ways God is leading you to grow, and strive to become the person He is molding you to be.
• Rely on God to meet your needs - not a husband or wife. Trust Him to provide all the fulfillment you need, much more effectively than any human being could.
• Fall in love with God. Cultivate intimacy with Him, constantly seeking to get to know Him more. Let God know that you appreciate Him for who He is, not just for what He can do for you. Embrace the lavish love that God wants to pour into your life, and live confidently before Him, knowing that He cares deeply for you.
• Develop a strong support system of friends and family members. Invest your love into these relationships, and you'll receive love in return.
• Decide to be content, even if you don't feel like it. Make a decision to trust God where you are while still being honest about the ways you're hurting. Ask God to send you His grace to help you live a contented life, no matter what your current circumstances. Remember that there is value in your pain, because God is using it to accomplish His purposes in your life.
• Pursue purity. Don't compromise on God's plan for your sexuality. Realize the emotional, spiritual, and physical consequences of sex before marriage, and commit to obeying God by not engaging in it. Set clear boundaries with dates to keep from giving parts of yourself away without the covenant of a marriage relationship. Take sexual issues seriously, as God does.
• Keep an eternal perspective. Remember that there is no marriage in heaven, and the sacrifices that God asks you to make here on earth will be worth it when you see Him face to face.
  

Adapted from The Single Truth: Challenging the Misconceptions of Singleness with God's Consuming Truth, by Lori Smith. Published by Treasure House, an imprint of Destiny Image, Inc., Shippensburg, Pa., www.destinyimage.com, 1-800-722-6774.

Lori Smith works and writes in northern Virginia, where she hikes in the Shenandoahs, frequents a local ballet studio, and throws the occasional pity party in the midst of her otherwise contented thirty-something single life. She was formerly a vice president at Crosswalk.com.

If you're single, what challenges do you face? What freedoms do you enjoy that you'd likely have to give up to get married? How have you tried to rely on God as a single adult? What encouragement would you like to offer other singles? Visit Crosswalk's forums to discuss this topic by clicking on the link below.