11 Reasons Christianity Is More Than Just Being ‘Nice’

My friend Melissa Binder said to me, “Deconstructing ‘nice’ Jesus leaves us with the uncomfortable reality of a redeemer who modeled ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ by shaking people to their core.” She’s right. Just check out John 8:7.

Reason #2: “Nice” Isn’t a Biblical Word

I’ve checked every major English-language Bible published in the past five centuries. Stick with the biblical text itself. “Nice” doesn’t appear once. Not even about Jesus. Especially not about Jesus.

The closest we get to the word “nice?” Away from the crowds, when confronted by the Pharisees and scribes, Jesus rails against their hypocrisies. The climax? He scorches them by saying, “You nicely set aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition” (Mark 7:9 NASB 1977). Truth in action!

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From deep personal experience, I have learned the hard way: In the midst of my deepest sorrows, Jesus waits, waits, waits…and then rushes in to completely obliterate my inadequate theologies of who He is and how life works.

Jesus hits me so hard I am never tempted to go back and pick up the pieces of my old, misshaped, and wrong ideas.

Jesus doesn’t come in soft and sweet. Even on the best of days, He is anything but Mr. Nice. Not just not nice to the Pharisees (see Luke 16:13-15) and Sadducees (see Mark 12:18-27) , but also not nice to His own followers (see  Luke 24:25-27).

Reason #4: Jesus Is Unpredictable and Loving

My friend Gerry Breshears at Western Seminary said to me: “‘Love your neighbor’ and ‘Follow Jesus’—it sounds so good until we try to do it. Jesus is so unpredictable, not nice at all, and so loving to so many unlikely people.” Not nice, yet so loving (see 1 John 4:17-19). Yes!

Reason #5: Christians Are to Be Truthful

Our mutual friend Randy Alcorn has said: “We’ve been schooled that it’s inappropriate to say anything negative. Being a good witness once meant faithfully representing Christ, even when it meant being unpopular. Now it means ‘making people like us.’ We’ve redefined Christlike to mean ‘nice.’” He’s right on the mark (see Ephesians 3:14-19).

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Never give in to the lie that you can “nice” someone to faith in Jesus Christ. “Nice” is never enough. Besides, many of my neighbors can “out-nice” me any day of the week.

Instead, focus on loving God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind. Then, listen to your Maker inspire you with creative ideas and fresh opportunities.

The reality is, sometimes “nice” stunts our imagination and actually prevents us from calling others to choose for or against Jesus Christ (see Matthew 28:18-20).

Reason #7: Christians Need to Show Rugged Love

“I cannot follow Jesus and be nice. Not equally,” says Sharon Hodde Miller, author of Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More.

She adds: “Jesus was loving. He was gracious. He was forgiving. He was kind. But he was not nice. He was a man who would leave the 99 sheep to rescue the one, but he was also totally unafraid of offending people. Jesus understood the difference between graciousness and personal compromise, between speaking truth and needlessly alienating people. Rather than wear a shiny veneer, he became the embodiment of rugged love. This, not niceness, is what we are called to.”

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David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, authors of Good Faith: Being a Christian When Society Thinks You’re Irrelevant and Extreme, couldn’t agree more. “It’s not enough to be nice. When it comes to conversations about beliefs, morals, and faith, Christians have often emphasized the importance of being winsome and engaging. The thinking—driven by the right impulse—is that if Christians would be reeeeeally nice about things, then others would at least respect the people behind the beliefs.”

We should be disciplined, patient, and kind in sharing our beliefs, but simply being ‘nice’ to avoid ruffling anyone’s feathers, or held beliefs, isn’t what Jesus exemplifies.

Reason #9: Christians Are to Be Counterintuitive, Not “Nice”

Thankfully, Jesus already is at work in the lives of many of our neighbors. And Jesus invites us to join Him…in many unexpected, surprising ways.

These surprising, often counterintuitive ways open us up to the Holy Spirit’s leading to be more than a “nice, loving Christian neighbor.” While “loving Christian” is essential, “nice” definitely is not a big enough word for what God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit had in mind for the 1^st and 21^st centuries.

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Now, as in the days of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, it’s overridingly important to invite, to cajole, to maybe even challenge someone in a humorous way until he or she says, “Okay, I’ll read the Jesus story with you.”

When you sit down to do just that, remember Jesus’ example: Ask them to read a few verses aloud. Then ask them what it means. When you get to something Jesus says or does, ask them what they think of what Jesus just said or did.

Then ask: “Do you think Jesus is just trying to be nice?” This is true even when Jesus is talking one-on-one with Nicodemus (John 3:1-16) and with the Samaritan woman (John 4:7-26).

Of course not. Jesus isn’t simply ‘nice.’ He doesn’t overlook what needs to be tended. That’s the whole point. Simply nice isn’t nice. Nice alone isn’t loving. It isn’t true. It’s the illegitimate child of Romanticism, which turned the meaning of the word on its head.

So, keep asking, “Do you think Jesus is trying to be nice?” until they finally get it. Once we rescue Jesus from “nice,” He becomes real in their eyes. And then His seemingly rude, ruthless ways begin to make sense (see Matthew 15:23-28).

Only then can your neighbor make any sense of Jesus’ life, His teachings, His miracles, His passion, His crucifixion, His burial, His resurrection, His post-resurrection appearances, His ascension, and His current position at God the Father’s right hand.

Reason #11: Jesus Prays You Won’t Just Be “Nice”

Right now, Jesus is praying for you to be anything but “just a nice Christian” (see John 14:16-17).

May His Holy Spirit fill you with unconventional, counterintuitive ways of loving your neighbor (see Acts 1:8, Acts 4:8-12, Acts 4:31, Acts 8:29-40, Acts 13:2-5, and especially Acts 16:6-7, where the Spirit closes several doors before opening an unexpected one!).

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