My faith felt small as I cried into my hands. Sitting there on the edge of my bed, very pregnant with my third baby, I wondered why I was suffering so. Was God punishing me? Where was my faith during these dark nights of my suffering?
For years I believed my suffering was a by-product of my faith. Maybe it was a teaching I had heard from the pulpit, but most likely, it was the enemy’s voice speaking into my mind, feeding into my insecurities. Whatever the reason I was suffering, it was my lack of faith that caused it. I was convinced I just needed more faith or bigger faith.
No matter how much I tried, I still struggled, and I couldn’t muster up enough faith to fight the feelings of failure. One night, after telling my husband how I must have weak faith because I can’t push the suffering aside, he looked at me and said: “You are the most faithful person I know.” I didn’t believe him until I began to study God’s Word and realized the truth about faith.
The definition of faith is: “in general the persuasion of the mind that a certain statement is true.” Basically, what do I believe to be true? What I believe is my faith. The Bible talks a lot about our faith. Hebrews talks about faith being the hope we have and confidence in things unseen (Hebrews 11:1). Paul says that we are to live by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7) and that we can move mountains with our faith (1 Corinthians 13:2).
Faith isn’t just a New Testament idea. The psalmist sings of faith in Psalm 119:30: I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws.” Our faith is tied to God and His commands and promises. Abraham demonstrated faith, and Genesis15:6 says that it was “credited” to him as righteousness.”
Faith brings about salvation. But faith also follows us through our lives. Many theologians have argued and debated this topic since the birth of Christianity, but let’s take a look at just a few verses to help guide us.
For by grace, you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so, no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),
Most would agree that faith comes from God. So, when we feel like we don’t have enough faith, we must remember God is the Author, Creator, and Source of faith (Ephesians 2:8-10, Hebrews 11:1).
Faith was God’s idea, God’s plan, and God’s doing. Faith continues in my heart through the power of God. Faith is a gift. If it is a gift, I didn’t do anything to deserve it. Faith begins with God and ends with a life filled with hope and confidence. So why do we struggle to feel like we need “more faith”?
God does not grant each of us a “measure of faith,” as some have taught. This phrase comes from Romans 12:3. In this passage, we see that Paul is talking about the spiritual gifts given to Christians (See also 1 Corinthians 12). God has given each of us unique and special gifts. This verse is not talking about the faith to be saved or the faith to walk the Christian life. This is saying God gives each of us a portion of the gifts of the Spirit, not faith itself. If God granted some more faith than others, it would be seen as favoritism. And Romans 2:11 says God does not show partiality.
Our faith, all of it, comes to us at the moment of salvation. It does not matter our circumstances, our personality, our choices, nor does it matter what we’ve done: God grants us all the faith we need. I think when we struggle with this idea of feeling “weak” in faith, it is because we’ve started putting our faith into something else. Ourselves, other people, our abilities, or circumstances. It is not about how much faith we have, but who we have our faith in.
If our faith is based upon God, His character, His promises, His commands, and the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Savior, then our faith is secure.
Think of a river that is frozen. Imagine yourself having a huge amount of faith in that ice. You believe with all your heart that ice will hold you. If that ice is a couple of centimeters thick, no amount of faith will hold you up. Imagine yourself having very little faith and cautiously putting your foot out on the ice. You are hesitant that the ice will hold you. If that ice is a couple of feet thick, even though your faith is small, that ice will not break. If we have a huge amount of faith in something that is untrustworthy or unfaithful, then we will fail. But if our faith (no matter how big it feels) is in Jesus Christ, our faith will hold us up every time. Because it is the object of our faith that matters - not the amount of faith we feel.
When your faith feels small, turn to God. We can look to His character and His promises. God is the author of our faith and the foundation for our faith. When we feel like we can’t trust anymore, go to God’s Word. It is there we find stories of faith from men and women who have struggled like us.
If you want a small, free Bible study on Women of Faith, click here.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/MrsOKeefe