"but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!" then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. - John 19:25-27
At the foot of the cross, there were four women who had been followers of Jesus, including his mother Mary (John 19:25). In that moment, Jesus, despite being crucified, noticed John, son of Zebedee, who was known as the disciple he loved and also the author of this Gospel. He said to Mary that John would now be like a son to her, and he told John that Mary would be like his mother (John 19:26-27). Immediately, John took Mary into his home (John 19:27).
Even while suffering on the cross, Jesus made sure to fulfill his duty to care for his widowed mother. He chose John to look after her instead of one of her biological sons because they had not yet believed in him (John 7:5). This event highlights the importance of spiritual relationships over biological and physical ones, as emphasized in passages like Matthew 12:46-50.
Jesus tenderly provides for his mother at His death. It is probable that Joseph, her husband, was long since dead, and that her son Jesus had supported her. Now that He was dying what would become of her? He saw her standing by and knew her cares and griefs, and He saw John standing not far off. So, He established a new relationship between His beloved mother and His beloved disciple. He said to her, "Woman, behold your son, for whom, from now on, you must have a motherly affection," and to John, "Behold you mother, to whom you must pay a sonly duty." And so from that hour, that hour never to be forgotten, that disciple took her to his own home.
Notice the care Christ took of His dear mother. He was not so much taken up with a sense of His sufferings as to forget His friends, all whose concerns He bore. His mother, perhaps, was so taken up with his sufferings that she didn't think of what would become of her, but He did. He had no other way to provide for His mother than by His interest in a friend, which he does here.
This was an honor put upon John, and a testimony both to his prudence and to his fidelity. If He who knows all things had not known that John loved Him, He would not have made him Mary’s guardian. It is a great honor to be employed for Christ and to be entrusted with any of His interest in the world.
It was also a great responsibility for John, but he cheerfully accepted it and took her to his own home, not objecting the trouble nor expense, nor his obligations to his own family, nor the ill-will he might contract by it. According to Nicephoras’s Ecclesiastical History (book 2, chapter 3), Mary lived with John at Jerusalem eleven years and then died. Others, however, say she went with him to Ephesus.
Why Did Jesus Use "Woman" and Not "Mother"?
Jesus calls Mary woman, not mother, not out of any disrespect to her, but because mother would have been a cutting word to her who was already wounded with grief. He directs her to look upon John as her son: "Behold him as thy son, who stands there by you, and be as a mother to him."
Within the language at that time, it was not disrespectful for Jesus to have referred to Mary as "woman" when he said, "Woman, behold your son" (John 19:26). In the context of the Bible and the culture of that time, addressing someone as "woman" was not necessarily disrespectful. It was a common way of addressing women, even by Jesus himself on other occasions.
In this specific situation, while hanging on the cross, Jesus was entrusting the care of his mother, Mary, to the disciple whom he loved, traditionally identified as John. He was essentially making sure that Mary would be taken care of after his death, as it was a gesture of love and concern for her well-being. The use of "woman" in this context can be seen as a way of emphasizing the importance of this new relationship between Mary and John, rather than as a sign of disrespect. It was a solemn and compassionate moment during a difficult time.
Adapted from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible (John 19).
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