A Prayer for the Marriage in Need of a Spark
By Alicia Searl
Bible Reading
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” - Genesis 2:24
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The kids were finally in bed, and as my husband and I both sauntered downstairs, I grew eager to finally get to catch up and hear about his new position at work. I went into the kitchen for literally a moment to grab a glass of water and a little snack, also known as chocolate, but when I came joyfully into the living room (ready and willing to share my “snack”), I found him conked out on the couch. He was seriously out in less than five minutes! Not only was I a bit jealous that he could pretty much put his head on the back of an armrest and fall right to sleep, but I also felt a tinge of animosity toward him at that moment. I wanted him. I needed him. I wanted to share and talk about our day.
Friend, here’s the brutal truth about marriage: it doesn’t just lose its spark overnight; it usually fades slowly over time. Unfortunately, it’s in that time of disconnection that we often try to quickly fix it (which often backfires), search the good ‘ole Google for answers, or become disheartened by the actions of other unfaithful couples, losing hope and believing ours will befall the same fate. As you may well know, there is a lot of information out there regarding marriage. It can lead us to believe all sorts of things. For instance, if we are not happy, our spouse isn’t meeting our needs, and the romance has fizzled out, that must mean something is terribly wrong.
Yet, while marriages are often tested and can surely fall upon some difficult times, dimming the spark, many times it just means that we need to do a little self-reflection and rethink our expectations. More importantly we need to seek to understand what God has to say about our marriages and how we are to respond when we are hurt (or even bitter) by the lack of passionate flames. Jesus was not shy when it came to talking about controversial and hot topics. Rather, when the time arose, and the crowds questioned Him, a simple and poignant answer was always given. Jesus reminds us that marriage is an unbreakable bond due to a covenant between our union and God. That said, we mustn’t allow others or distractions of this world to come in and try to tear it apart (Matthew 19:4-6).
So, how exactly do we protect our marriages and, better yet, keep the flames of passion burning? Let’s start by going back to the very beginning and seek real, true wisdom. Open your Bible and flip through the love letters God offers you. Let Him remind you of His unfailing love for you first. God is calling you to welcome His love into your marriage too. Place Him at the center of your sacred union by:
- Showing kindness and compassion. Read Philippians 2:1, which reminds us that when we choose to be kind, we remember God’s great compassion for us.
- Listening attentively. This starts with eye contact. Put the phones away and just focus on what your spouse has to say (James 1:19-20).
- Forgiving. We aren’t going to be able to reignite the flames in our marriages if are holding on to a bitter seed. Forgiveness is the key to intimacy. If you are struggling here, turn to God and seek His help to see your spouse the way He does and ask for a path to move forward (Ephesians 4:32).
- Honoring your spouse’s role. God’s design for marriage calls for both the husband and wife to submit to one another in reverence for Christ. When we walk humbly with the Lord, we embrace our roles in a marriage and encourage our spouse to do the same (Ephesians 5:21-33).
- Showing love. Take the initiative in your marriage. The fiery flames may take time to come back, but love is a choice that starts with an act of service and a heart willing to meet their spouse with sincerity (Romans 12:10).
Let’s Pray:
O God, we humbly come before You and ask for Your loving hand upon our marriages. Grant us strength to be gracious and kind, to have hearts to listen and forgive, and to honor our spouses’ beautiful roles in our unions. Help us show our spouses love, even when it is trying or difficult. Give us a fresh set of eyes to see them the way You do, as beloved and priceless. Please reignite the passion in our marriages and allow us to find that level of love again that reminds us that we are truly one flesh and that our marriages are such a sweet and precious gift from You, God. I ask this in Your holy name. Amen
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