A Prayer for a Child Who Is Struggling with Friendship
By Laura Bailey
Bible Reading:
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” - Proverbs 13:20 NIV
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I spotted my daughter coming down the walkway at school, her slumped shoulders telling the story of her day. Still, as she slinked into the car, arms crossed, scowl fixed, I gently inquired, “How was your day?” Thinking that perhaps she didn’t hear me, I asked again. “FINE!” she growled back. Knowing she would eventually share about her day, I gave her some space and quietly rode home. As she unpacked her book bag, I saw a tear fall from her face.
I approached her and held out a plate of cookies as a peace offering. I asked, “ Are you ready to talk about it now?” Through muffled sobs, she shared about being excluded from the group project, forgotten at the lunch table, and ignored during recess. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time I’d had this conversation with my daughter. The girls at school were best friends one day, writing sweet notes, making room at the table, and cheering each other on, then pretending like they didn’t exist the next. This year seemed marked by fickle friendships.
As I held my daughter, her hurt eventually turned into frustration. “Why would they do that? I am not going to be friends with them anymore!” she announced. Relationships are generally complicated, but tween girls, whew, it is exhausting.
I remember the rollercoaster of relationships from my adolescence. Especially at a time when hormones are raging, people are trying to figure themselves out, and life is constantly changing, learning to navigate relationships is difficult. While I knew that likely tomorrow, everything would go back to normal, transgressions quickly forgotten; this wouldn’t be the last time my daughter struggled in her friendships.
Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. " Simply put, be careful of the company you keep. In my daughter’s case, most friendship angst resulted from immaturity. However, learning when to walk away from a situation because it will ultimately cause you harm is a lesson I desire her to learn early. Friends have a powerful influence over us. Therefore, we must choose our friends wisely.
All relationships will experience ups and downs, and just because someone hurts our feelings, says an unkind word, or neglects to invite us to an event doesn’t mean they are “foolish” and should be cut out of our lives. Instead, one of the best tools we can teach our children is discernment. Scripture says we should be quick to forgive (Ephesians 4:31-32), granting grace, but it doesn’t say we must be friends with everyone. We must understand when letting the offense go versus a friendship is appropriate.
In my daughter's case, we discussed ways she could have handled the situation better, as she wasn’t without fault in the girl drama of the day. We spoke about forgiveness and choosing to show Christ’s love. I shared with her the importance of choosing our friends wisely and how she can be a good friend to others. Relationships are messy; unfortunately, the older we get, the more complicated they can be–but the struggle is worth it, as two are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of friendship. From the beginning of creation, you saw that it was not good for man to be alone and made him a companion. Lord, you created relationships to bring joy to your children, but yet, in a fallen world, they experience the effects of sin. And so, there are times when we are hurt by people we love, trust, admire, and respect. In all circumstances, give us the strength to forgive “our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Matthew 6:12). Lord, grant us discernment in dealing with others. Help us know when to walk away from a situation or a person. Help us as we seek peace, extend grace, and show love to others. Friendship is a true blessing; may we treat it as such. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Photo Credit ©Getty Images/Lacheev
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
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