Two Bucks Worth of Commitment
By Lisa Lakey
My husband and I love bargain hunting. Flea markets, antique stores, even our local Goodwill equals a good time for us. But our approaches to purchasing an item are completely different.
My husband sees a price tag as the base point for negotiations. One day, we came across an old, chipped wooden headboard.
I loved the detail, but I wondered if the bargain-basement price tag reflected the time and sweat I would put into fixing it up. In my head, there was some sanding involved, a lot of painting in those weird places where I’d have to crane my neck. I figured the price included a couple of Saturdays and at least one evening where I’d rather be watching Netflix.
My husband walked up to the counter and offered them $2 for the headboard. He said, “If we end up just storing it in the garage, at least we didn’t pay much for it.”
I was shocked and a bit embarrassed. Who was this guy?
I was more shocked when the manager said, “Go for it.”
I can’t help but see a metaphor in there.
It’s tempting in marriage to settle for two bucks worth of commitment. We’ll take it as-is, but maybe we aren’t sure if we’re ready to slog through what it takes.
So maybe it’s better to stick with something we can toss if it gets too much.
Guilty.
I’ve often given just enough to get us to a comfortable place, but don’t seem willing to put the elbow grease in to make our marriage all it could be.
Jesus showed us the real definition of commitment when He answered the rich man’s question of how he could have eternal life (Luke 18:18-23). Jesus’ answer was simple—leave your stuff behind and “come, follow Me.” I don’t think that rich man was a bargain shopper, because he didn’t like that answer.
So what does a committed love relationship in marriage look like? Our best example is how Jesus lived on earth: living, loving, healing, forgiving, and sacrificing. All for fixer-uppers like us.
Does this feel unrealistic? I get that. But giving my husband more than just two bucks of commitment lets him know I’m in it for the long haul. (Hey, I’m willing to pay full price for this guy, even with the occasionally mortifying bartering!) No matter the mutual elbow grease.
How do you work on your marriage when your spouse won’t? Read more.
The Good Stuff: [Jesus] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, by taking the form of a servant … and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death. (Philippians 2:6-8)
Action Points: How can you show your spouse you’re in this for the long game? Could it mean never mentioning divorce as an option? Voicing your commitment when your spouse has blown it? Forming Plan B for your future together when Plan A implodes? Remember, actions speak louder than words.
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