When the Fairy Tale Goes South
By Carlos Santiago
Our marriage started with a slight fairy-tale feel. We even left our wedding in a white, horse-drawn carriage.
I began to think our marriage was immune to the problems others faced. It felt like everything we touched sparkled with pixie dust.
Until it didn’t.
And when we did face a serious conflict, I didn’t know where to turn.
Who do you talk to when the fairy tale goes south? We found help in a few places.
True friends
A friend who comforts by always agreeing you are right and your spouse is wrong is not the kind of friend you need.
Sometimes you are the one who is wrong. A good friend will help you see that.
Parents
The best way for your parents to help you? Relaying their own experiences. The wisdom and experience of emotionally healthy, wise parents with healthy marriages is invaluable. Learn as much from them as you can.
Church
Talking to your pastor doesn’t have to happen only when there is a crisis. Schedule an annual marriage and/or personal checkup with your pastor, and have the courage to get real.
Other resources
Don’t struggle alone. Attend a marriage event, listen to marriage podcasts, complete a marriage-focused Bible reading plan, or read a marriage book. Learn from those who have been there.
Counselors
Counseling might cost money. Divorce costs more. And not just financially.
Prayer
One of the greatest investments you can make in your marriage is prayer. Only God can work to change a heart (yours or your spouse’s). By praying, you are asking the Author of your story for supernatural help—to do what only He can do.
Turns out “happily ever after” usually happens after fighting your way to your one true love. Rather than the end, maybe the horse-drawn carriage is just the beginning.
Wondering if your marriage needs professional help? Read, “Do You Need Counseling?”
The Good Stuff: Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. (Proverbs 19:20)
Action Points: Who do you go to for help? Make a list of three people you could talk to when your marriage (inevitably) sees trials.
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