Your Spouse Is Not Your Enemy
By David and Meg Robbins
We became enemies while looking for a Christmas tree.
We had set out on what was sure to be a magical, memory-making afternoon at the local tree farm. In retrospect, we probably could have planned better. Hallmark moments can’t be squeezed in between a son’s basketball game and a daughter’s volleyball game.
The tension actually began at McDonalds, where we rushed through our (un)happy meals. When we arrived at the tree farm, the price tags on the first trees we saw made both of us gasp—more than triple the mega-store alternative.
The next group was actually nicer looking than the first, but double the price. Tired and disappointed, we eventually found the cheap trees. The outing was turning into a debacle, and someone had to be blamed. So, naturally, we began to blame each other.
“I thought you said this place had incredible prices!”
“What do you mean you don’t know how tall our ceilings are?”
Our magical afternoon turned into a meltdown.
We got over that one pretty quickly, but the experience did show us how quickly spouses can turn on each other.
It sounds preposterous to think of your spouse as your enemy. You’d never say that. You’d never want them to lose so you could win. One of you would never think the other is standing in the way of your happiness, right?
Yet it happens all the time in the daily life of even a strong marriage. We need to remind ourselves that our spouse is not our enemy.
In the difficult and challenging days of marriage, we have to choose to walk in ruthless trust of God’s goodness and His plans. When life gets hard and our spouse is beginning to feel like our enemy, we need to remember and believe that this husband or wife is God’s very best for me, His gift to me. Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect.” God doesn’t make mistakes.
Does the stress of the holiday season bring out the worst in your marriage? Read on.
The Good Stuff: Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5)
Action Points: In what ways have you recently fallen into the trap of seeing your spouse as your enemy? Are there triggers that tend to lead you spiraling into this pattern (e.g., how you handle conflict, how you discipline your children or stepchildren, challenges with a former spouse, issues over in-laws, etc.)?
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