Ranch Dressing
By Brian Goins
“You know what would make these potatoes great? Ranch dressing. Do you have any?” I asked my hosts.
My friend confronted me the next day, “Brian, every time you say something could taste just a little bit better with ranch, it makes us feel like you don’t like our cooking.”
I didn’t realize my culinary suggestion dampened their hearts. What they heard was, “Your attempt to fry potatoes with lackluster seasoning fell way short … let me show you how to make this starch stand out with a little Hidden Slather from the Valley.”
Clearly, I needed some good old-fashioned home training.
That conversation revealed two things about me.
First, drowning everything in ranch dressing highlighted a woefully limited palette.
Second, I tend to confuse flaws with personal preferences. Nine out of 10 people would have found those potatoes perfectly seasoned. I had just trained my taste buds to crave mayo sprinkled with fairy dust.
I do the same thing in marriage.
I’m only satisfied when my needs or preferences are met. Date night fell short because we didn’t see the movie I wanted to see. A weekend felt unfulfilling because none of my projects got done. A vacation was wasted because my quota for intimacy wasn’t met.
The Apostle Paul said, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
Notice he doesn’t say “ignore your interests.” He encourages us to value someone else’s personal preferences more than your own. And in the process, not only will we discover a more satisfying relationship, but we may just expand our own limited palette.
Thinking back to that night, I’m amazed my friends kept asking me over for dinner. They should have just left me to my ramen noodles. You know what doesn’t go well with ramen?
Ranch dressing.
Listen to Dave Wilson explain how selfishness is the opposite of respect.
The Good Stuff: Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)
Action Points: A great question to ask your spouse regularly is, “What would a win look like for you on this date, weekend, vacation, budget, holiday, etc…?”
Visit the FamilyLife® Website
