But I Need Help with the Bacon!
By Leslie Barner
I can still sing the jingle from the Enjoli perfume commercial: “I can bring home the bacon/ Fry it up in a pan/ And never, ever let you forget you’re the man ...”
The commercial became the gold standard of female empowerment, the “24-hour woman.” You could have it all and do it all.
Like many young women, I bought into the message. And that was the woman a lot of men expected their wives to be. They, too, had bought in.
I tried so hard to be that 24-hour woman—pulling 40 hours, juggling the needs of a husband and four active little girls, looking for recipes, clipping coupons, playing driver and chaperone, cutting out crafts for Sunday school lessons, and trying to make 10 loads of laundry smell like a Caribbean breeze.
I felt so empowered. Until one day, I just felt ... exhausted.
I realized while I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan, I needed help! The 24-hour woman was no longer so attractive. She was just a fantasy.
No woman or man is capable of having it all and doing it all.
The Bible tells us “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV).
Teamwork helped lighten my load significantly. Working together helped our home—and my overloaded reality—move to a much healthier, stronger, happier place.
Being the help your spouse needs might mean you have to put down the cell phone, TV remote, or gaming controller. But it goes a long way in communicating, “I see you and all that you do. And I care enough to help, because I care about you. We are a team, and when you win, we both win.”
The Good Stuff: Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (1 John 3:18)
Action Points: Take a sheet of paper, and each of you write a list of areas in which you need help. Then brainstorm ways you can work together to benefit your marriage, family, home, and individual well-being.
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